Why can't I Love?

[Junket]

I don't think he'll change, simply because he's not interested in changing. I don't see why there needs to be an expectation that he will.

[Gribble]

I hook up with younger girls because I live in a college town and they're all around. I'm familiar with them. I know where to look for them. Common ground is easy to find.

I don't know where these mythical older women are who just wanna **** and nothing else. The only older women I ever come across are married. And I turn into such a pussy around them, anyway.

In all honesty I do feel kind of bad for the girls who get close to me. I don't want to hurt them. It's just my desire to **** them outweighs my desire to protect them from myself.

[vashti]

Damn, those husbands sure can spoil a girl's fun.

[Mish]

Any interaction I have with her is a chore. And this change wasn't gradual. We went on the trip. Had a great time. The whole trip I wanted to **** her brains out. Really, really enjoyed being with her. Then I got home and spent a couple days away from her and all those feelings disappeared.

That's probably a major part of the problem^^^ The interactions you have with these girls should flow like water, you should enjoy it and take something out of it, there should be no chore qualities to them what so ever. It's hard, but half a year after the break up, I'm only now starting to build a community of women of this type from which I can choose the right one later on. I can't begin to describe how easy it would be to bang each one, but I must be 100% sure the one I bang is the one I'll want.

Blah. It would be so nice if I could get laid (and still enjoy it) without putting in all the effort of meeting someone and courting them. Oh well. I guess it's time to think up a good "It's not you, it's me" speech and get screamed and wept at again.

You are just looking to get laid dude, that's probably why you end up in situations like this. Yeh, I've been there as well, but I found sometimes it's better to let go of opportunities like that to make it easier for yourself later on. I'm avoiding getting laid only situations right now so I don't end up in what I had with my ex. Do what I'm doing now, refuse to get laid until you find the right woman, give yourself a challenge and you will be rewarded in the end.

[ecojeanne]

no offense grib, but i would never want any girl i know and care about to ever meet you. you and cb are one of a kind only you're more elitist with a witty sarcastic sense of humor-which means you get away with a lot and lull women into a false sense of security that you're a 'nice guy', and cb is more of a guy next door that has the looks and therefore reels them in. you both suck as partners tho and you both know it.

and all the women here have fallen for your charms based on your wit and have chosen to ignore the obvious in some weird way to try to impress you, i dunno, i see some characters here justifying your suckiness and it's incredible to read really.

[vashti]

Both Chalieboy and Gribble are openly honest about what they want, they are both intelligent, and they both actually LIKE females. Neither are excessively judgemental about a woman's past, and they are both easy to communicate with. Neither one is emotionally wimpy, and I believe both could be counted on to be strong when a woman needed them to be. Plus, they are both gainfully employed. I consider them both to be great catches, and I wish ALL guys were like them.

[Yggdrasil]

Both Chalieboy and Gribble are openly honest about what they want, they are both intelligent, and they both actually LIKE females. Neither are excessively judgemental about a woman's past, and they are both easy to communicate with. Neither one is emotionally wimpy, and I believe both could be counted on to be strong when a woman needed them to be. Plus, they are both gainfully employed. I consider them both to be great catches, and I wish ALL guys were like them.

You may have a point here vashti.

It's quite possible the immature girl crap just doesn't stick with these two and that's why they're getting so tired about it.

[vashti]

Actually, I can think of LOTS more positive things to say about them each individually, but I don't want to gush.

[lesa]

The girls that you are dating are giving you more than what you want at the moment. It's not balanced and that's why the relationship feels like a chore. It's too bad many ladies don't understand what their behavior means to others and start to skip to the next step of a relationship before the man ever got that burning desire. Your trip to the country with the result of feeling her instant change is a perfect example. Now she's dreaming of a white gown, bridesmaids and picking up your dirty socks...jk

Now you have that feeling to bail.

[Aeradalia]

Just out of curiosity... isn't it possible for some people to just never settle down? If some people never have the maternal or paternal instinct, I would believe it'd be possible for some people to never have the need to 'settle down.' Gribble may be one of those people who remain hungry for the next short-term relationship throughout their whole lives.

Then again, maybe one day, 'something' will happen that will trigger that dormant drive for lifelong company and everything will fall in place... right?

I think it was Fras who talked about something similar in another post... happiness and love are subjective. Perhaps Gribble is happy this way and is only worried because he's not 'conforming' to publicly held ideals of happiness. If he's honest with these women, can you really fault him for accepting their consent? If you tell someone the fire will burn them, is it really the fire's fault for burning them when they touch it anyway? People are responsible for their own actions, that includes allowing themselves to be hurt when they were given fair warning.

I wouldn't have any form of intimate relationship with Gribble, but I've grown up with plenty of guys just like him. They have 'female' friends they respect and do not mess around with, and then they have women they care little for and ****. They find what they need in women, but they find desired traits in different women, rather than just one.

[Gigabitch]

Blah. It would be so nice if I could get laid (and still enjoy it) without putting in all the effort of meeting someone and courting them. Oh well. I guess it's time to think up a good "It's not you, it's me" speech and get screamed and wept at again.

Heh heh- reminds me of the beginning of About a Boy. Have you seen that?

I wouldn't have any form of intimate relationship with Gribble, but I've grown up with plenty of guys just like him.

Me too. Love them, turn to them when I need some big-brother stuff, but wouldn't throw myself in front of that bus for anything.

Gribble, you're just a larva, and I say that with love. Don't worry about it. Nature is defending the entire population of women in the world by not allowing guys like you to fall in love until they're actually ready to commit. Aren't you glad you don't have some emotional harness around your neck, making you think you want to settle down with someone when you don't, really? I'm glad, and I'm sure there are plenty of women who would be happy to get the "It's not you" speech if they knew how horrid it would be to be stuck with a guy that strung them along.

I think a lot of guys your age are like this, they're just not as honest with themselves about it.

[misombra]

that sounds a lot like my dad.

[ecojeanne]

Both Chalieboy and Gribble are openly honest about what they want, they are both intelligent, and they both actually LIKE females. Neither are excessively judgemental about a woman's past, and they are both easy to communicate with. Neither one is emotionally wimpy, and I believe both could be counted on to be strong when a woman needed them to be. Plus, they are both gainfully employed. I consider them both to be great catches, and I wish ALL guys were like them.

great catches?! just because they are honest....did you read this thread at all vash?

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/30572-im-love.html[/url]

seriously?! i really don't get it, an emotionally detached man is a great catch that uses women and thows them away when done?!...not a great catch in my book....jus sayin'

[misombra]

gerbil the reason why older women see through the bullshit is because they've probably already dealt with a guy like you.

[vashti]

Eco - I think a lot of that thread was bullshit. I've also seen gribble refuse to date a girl because she was a virgin, and he didn't want to crush her.

I think wanting to avoid meaningful relationships at his age is fine. He has plenty of time for that when he is older, if he chooses. The fact that it his timeline doesn't necessarily fit in with a woman's biological clock or emotional neediness doesn't make him damaged.