Threesome?

[Melinda01]

How will this **** up my life? Will I get a disease from randomly bringing some guy into bed that I don't really know? What if I get pregnant, how do I know whose baby it is? Why do I not respect myself enough to not go through with this since it is his fantasy and not really one I share with him? What if the two of them brag about it and it costs me a job, interview, I get harassed about it, other people start approaching me repeatedly thinking I'm easy. What if I say stop, because I'm not having fun and the two of them don't?

Where do you want me to start with listing all of the possible ways this could go poorly for you?

I can see where you're coming from. It can go poorly, I agree. I don't say that it can go smoothly just like that. But if I take the decision then it means that I'm up for it. I will never do something I don't want to just because he's so horny. He means nothing to me and if I feel pressured at any time then he can just go to h**l.

I just think sometimes that it can be really hot. But I'm thinking about it still.

Now as far as your points of questions you list there.
Why should it **** up my life? How do you mean?
The disease is definately the most serious issue. If it is to be someone I don't know then I will not do it without protection. For me, this is the most important. Even if it is someone I know, I don't want to do it without protection. All the rest, are not issues for me. For example, IF I get pregnant, I will have an abortion. About respect of myself, I will do it only if I really feel hot about it and really really want it. So if I want it then I don't think there's an issue about not respecting myself? I will not humiliate myself if I do something that I want to do. It is as an adventure. And all of my friends see it like that. We are open-minded like that. And as for the last question, if I say stop and they don't do it. Well, yes. That's another issue that I will need to discuss with my "guy" beforehand and at least being able to trust him on this...

Well, at the moment I don't think I will do him the favor. It's in the very beginning of my thoughts and he's starting to irritate me with his behaviour generally that I don't feel like making any effort for his fantasies. So, it will take quite some long time until I do it, if I do it. But it doesn't do any harm to think about it and talk about it with other people and take some opinions. It helps a lot actually!

[Gigabitch]

Gigabitch, why do you think it is incredibly stupid?

Having seen SO MANY posts over the last few years from girls that agreed to do NSA and got burned. Maybe you're different. if so, good for you.

[Rollerderby]

I think the only opinion on this situation you should be listening to in this case should be your own.

You don't sound really into it on your own. You said you never thought about it before he brought it up, and you bring up trust issues. If you were to do this, you would want to be able to trust BOTH of them, not just one or the other. And I think if you were to go out and find another guy, the chances are if you end up liking him...

For me personally, this is a fantasy I might masturbate to. In fantasy, it's a turn on, but in reality I don't know. Lite brings up some great points about the aftershock of an experience like this. Psychological effects of how you view yourself might be one that you haven't fully considered.

If this isn't something you are 110% fully on board with, I wouldn't do it.

[misombra]

this is possibly one of those things that is better off as a fantasy.

"if i get pregnant i'll have an abortion." that is really ignorant. have you ever seen somebody have that procedure done or had a deep conversation with somebody who's had one?

the nsa sex is a bad arrangement. if you're going to do this, do it with somebody you trust and cares about you. this guy doesn't.

[Melinda01]

Yes I do understand that it might be too strong of an experience after it. I start getting cold with the idea slowly. Especially if I don't trust him. Oh well...it's fading away...

misombra: I've always been very careful about not getting pregnant. I don't want children. And IF (because you never know), IF I get pregnant I have the choice to do an abortion. That doesn't mean that I will not be careful. I am always careful so that I avoid it. But just if...I will not keep it, I'm given the choice.

nsa sex (as you all call it cause I don't know what it stand for) can become very "emotional" if at least one cares for the other. I prefer it to be either "we have someting that should lead to something serious if things go fine" or "sex and nothing more". Difficult to have just sex and caring at the same time. At least for me. It gets complicated.

[misombra]

nsa sex (as you all call it cause I don't know what it stand for) can become very "emotional" if at least one cares for the other. I prefer it to be either "we have someting that should lead to something serious if things go fine" or "sex and nothing more". Difficult to have just sex and caring at the same time. At least for me. It gets complicated.

that is the biggest crock of mierda i've read in a long time.

[Melinda01]

that is the biggest crock of mierda i've read in a long time.

Thanks for that.

This is how it works for me. It's either that or the other, somewhere in the middle will take its toll after a while, that's for sure.

[NeoSeminole]

misombra says:

"that is the biggest crock of mierda i've read in a long time."

why do you say that? There are people who can detach themselves from emotions.

[Gigabitch]

There are people who can detach themselves from emotions.

Yeah. They're usually male, though, and is is VERY common for females to get completely shredded by engaging in No Strings Attached sex.

The crock of mierda was about saying that NSA could be emotional, as I read it, and I agree, that's a crock. NSA means no emotional attachment, and if they're "caring" for each other, they've strayed out of NSA territory and into the Burn Zone.

[NeoSeminole]

Gigabitch, the way I understood Melinda01's post was that sex can either lead to an emotional attachment or stay just sex. It gets complicated when one person develops feelings for the other. misombra responded to this by calling it a crock of shit. Her comment didn't make any sense.

[Petit Papillon]

I have a very good friend in Sweden.When she moved there few years ago she was schocked with the fact that sex for teenagers there is something worthless. She said she could even see people **** in a school toilet.
The point is, if they start like this as teenagers, than I`m not surprised why it`s so normal to have threesomes, having abortion just like that without thinking about any consequences etc...
I also heard that Sweden is a country with a fcuked up law and morality. But still, people seem to be happy there.
So I dunno where is the problem

[boobaa]

****ed up law and morality? WHAT THE ****?

Sweden is most humane country there is. Its called freedom. You cannot control someones sex life.

[Melinda01]

The crock of mierda was about saying that NSA could be emotional, as I read it, and I agree, that's a crock. NSA means no emotional attachment, and if they're "caring" for each other, they've strayed out of NSA territory and into the Burn Zone.

That's exactly what I'm saying. NSA is not about "caring" for each other. So why does misombra say that this is what it is about and said that I'm talking nonsense...

[IndiReloaded]

Gigabitch and Lite are the ones I'd listen to, babe. They are both old enough & experienced enough to know what they are about. Most of the other posters are very young and don't have a clue what they are talking about, frankly.

Why don't you just rent some good porn on this subject? There must be loads of threesome stuff out there to get your jollies from.

I think this guy is just testing how far he can push you.

Miso's point (who is also a mature poster, btw) is that you'd be a fool to try this with anyone other than a committed partner (and another person you deeply trust). And since most partners aren't interested in sharing like this, you are setting yourself up to be burned.

[Melinda01]

Gigabitch and Lite are the ones I'd listen to, babe. They are both old enough & experienced enough to know what they are about. Most of the other posters are very young and don't have a clue what they are talking about, frankly.

Why don't you just rent some good porn on this subject? There must be loads of threesome stuff out there to get your jollies from.

I think this guy is just testing how far he can push you.

Miso's point (who is also a mature poster, btw) is that you'd be a fool to try this with anyone other than a committed partner (and another person you deeply trust). And since most partners aren't interested in sharing like this, you are setting yourself up to be burned.

Thanks for your input IndiReloaded. That's ok, I know that I should think more about it before doing this. I have allready backed off actually because I don't feel like it at the moment and don't want to risk it.

However, misombra's point was not about trying this threesome with someone that cares about me. It was about having an NSA arrangement with someone that cares. And my point is that the NSA cannot be done if you care.