porn revelation is destroying me

[Gigabitch]

No, it's not her, but be realistic. It's a well known fact that most men are turned on by visual stimuli, not mental. My man ALWAYS prefers sex with the lights on as opposed to off because he admittedly likes to SEE whats going on.

Totally. I think I've had sex with my husband in the three years we've been together ONCE in the dark. We always leave the light on. Boys like to see.

There are men who watch porn and there are men who lie about it.

Stick to the ones who freely admit it. You do not want to see what the other guys have on their computers. Believe me, once seen it cannot be unseen.

^^^ Yeah! Be thankful he's being open with you. Be concerned that you created an environment where he felt he had to lie about it. That's trouble in the making.

[someguy1984]

I agree be thankful he tells you, but saying that every guy watches porn in a relationship is quite far-fetched...I can't be the only one...I find that very ironic. Unless of course my friends lie to me, but we're always open and joke around about sh*t like that. It's not a big deal, but it's annoying people/women think ALL guys watch porn often. Another stereotype that needs to go away...

[someguy1984]

Honestly, I would be surprised if you had a steady relationship where you lived with a person for over a year.

I was smitten for the first year, and even being long distance at the time I never really bothered with porno. Just no interest.

Then later on we moved in together, and as the newness began to fade, I slowly fell back into old habits. Granted I definitely do not masturbate as much as I used to, I still browse sites for kicks.

We'll have been dating 3 years this November.

Dated a girl for 4 years and 2 of them were spent living with one another...We had sex often, so between school/work/friends their was never a need. Our schedules were set to a point we saw one another a lot.

I just never had a desire to watch porn...Still to this day i don't watch it much being single. lol, i prefer watching a movie i made myself, or one of those tease strip videos where the girls keep their clothes on...That's more of a turn on to me, rather than looking at some guys ball sack railing a whore...

[Junket]

Still to this day i don't watch it much being single. lol, i prefer watching a movie i made myself, or one of those tease strip videos where the girls keep their clothes on...That's more of a turn on to me, rather than looking at some guys ball sack railing a whore...

Well dude, being one that doesn't watch porn even when he's single makes your disinterest in porn while in a relationship make even more sense.

I believe you were giving off the impression that you used porn as often as the average male when single, but quit cold turkey while in a relationship. Which I couldn't help but believe was odd.

But simply because you have little interest in pornography doesn't mean every other male doesn't, or shouldn't.

The reality is she will really have to change the kind of men she seeks to date if she truly wants a man that has absolutely no interest in other women or pornography.

I'd suggest a preacher or something, but they're the worst hypocrites of them all.

[CocoChanel]

Nice Guy: Okay keep in mind I said MAJORITY of Women. I didn't say all women.

Blue: I don't see what's so different from what I said and what you said. I agree... men are more visually stimulated than women.

Frasbee: Why would I be bitter? Regardless, what I said is true.

Whether a female accepts it because she has no problem with it or because she has come to the realisation of the male preference doesn't make a difference. It shouldn't always be a female's problem because she doesn't approve of her man getting off to other women. It's disrespectful and it can kill someone's self esteem. Does she need to get over it? Hell yeah... Why? Because Men will be Men. Majority of them will and do watch pornography. Will stand in your face and tell you how beautiful you are and how they only want you. But will go watch pornography and get off to it. Go figure.

[Junket]

Whether a female accepts it because she has no problem with it or because she has come to the realisation of the male preference doesn't make a difference. It shouldn't always be a female's problem because she doesn't approve of her man getting off to other women. It's disrespectful and it can kill someone's self esteem. Does she need to get over it? Hell yeah... Why? Because Men will be Men. Majority of them will and do watch pornography. Will stand in your face and tell you how beautiful you are and how they only want you. But will go watch pornography and get off to it. Go figure.

Oh c'mon.

Shall we talk about how women tell men they love them and spread their legs?

But suddenly lose interest once the the money goes away?

[CocoChanel]

Go ahead and talk about whatever you like. Anything to justify Pornography or redirect from the truth. That's how porn watchers do. But like I said before... I said Majority... not all. So if the shoe fits where it.

[MrNiceGuy]

Oh c'mon.

Shall we talk about how women tell men they love them and spread their legs?

But suddenly lose interest once the the money goes away?

Wow. That is two, TWO posts in a row wherein you actually make sense.

Don't break your record brah.

[Junket]

Go ahead and talk about whatever you like. Anything to justify Pornography or redirect from the truth. That's how porn watchers do. But like I said before... I said Majority... not all. So if the shoe fits where it.

It is the truth.

And I don't have a problem with that.

What I have a problem with is the high horse attitude.

Especially considering women are in no way an innocent victim here, especially when there can be parallels drawn.

You can talk your shit, but don't expect people won't push back.

[CocoChanel]

I'm expecting you to push back. Trust me.
Men always do when it comes to porn watching and the truth is told.

There is no high horse attitude. I'm just telling you the truth.
Don't like it? Make yourself feel better and watch some porn. LOL!

[someguy1984]

I'm expecting you to push back. Trust me.
Men always do when it comes to porn watching and the truth is told.

There is no high horse attitude. I'm just telling you the truth.
Don't like it? Make yourself feel better and watch some porn. LOL!

lol, that was funny

[someguy1984]

Well dude, being one that doesn't watch porn even when he's single makes your disinterest in porn while in a relationship make even more sense.

I believe you were giving off the impression that you used porn as often as the average male when single, but quit cold turkey while in a relationship. Which I couldn't help but believe was odd.

But simply because you have little interest in pornography doesn't mean every other male doesn't, or shouldn't.

The reality is she will really have to change the kind of men she seeks to date if she truly wants a man that has absolutely no interest in other women or pornography.

I'd suggest a preacher or something, but they're the worst hypocrites of them all.

This is true. I didn't realize i was making it out to seem i watched porn all the time when i was single...If so, that was my mistake.

I suppose I'm simply just not a person who was ever really into it...Therefore, people who watch it much more often may feel the desire to in a relationship as well...I just don't do that, so it's hard for me to imagine doing so...

I think you get my point now.

[Junket]

Ugh. (Coco)

Typically I would quote you and embolden everything that constitutes as arrogant in tone, but I don't feel like it tonight.

I need to train someone to post for me.

[CocoChanel]

~Flips Hair and Rolls Eyes~
Whateverrrrrrrrrr!

Is that arrogant enough for you? *wink*

[insecure]

I would first like to thank those who posted and appreciate (the majority) of responses I got. I said in my last post that I appreciated the honest feedback and reality checks. I do not, however, feel that undue nastiness is really necessary. So to those who thought themselves of having the right to have a go at someone behind the safety of their PC, get f*cked.

Moving on.

What has really stood out for me, and started to solidify in my mind since reading your posts over the last few days is this - I am glad that he told me about it, that he felt he could.
Who knows, it could really be an opportunity for us to grow the sexual side of our relationship.

I apologised to him for giving him such a hard time about it. We've been doing okay since, and I think beginning to learn more about each other in the process.

I do want to say this:

I do think that it is possible for some men to not have much interest in porn.
I do think that men and women are different, and much of the differences we have regarding viewing porn as 'cheating' are perhaps for many irreconcilable.

But that ultimately, if I want to have a trusting and honest relationship, then this is something that I need to come to grips with. As I said, the door is open now for more honesty between us, and that can only ever be a good thing.