Is it ever ok to take on a mistress in a marriage?

[NeoSeminole]

IndiReloaded says:

"All I am pointing out is the FACT that you and a couple other posters don't actually have any EXPERIENCE in the things you are commenting on. Surely you can't have a problem with my stating plain fact?"

haha, why do the foolish always think they can fool the intelligent? I see right through your tactics. There's a difference between "pointing out" that several members don't have experience, as you now claim, and singling out an entire group as ignorant which is what you did earlier.

[NeoSeminole]

ah well, back to studying. This place bores me.

[misombra]

you lost the argument, neo.

[IndiReloaded]

Thank you Neo, coming from a student I cannot tell you how much your evaluation of my reading ability means. LOL. I'm sure you think you are smarter than your professors also. I meet the odd kid like you. You will grow up eventually, but meantime it will be a hard road for you to reign in that ego. Good thing you aren't actually becoming a doctor, it would take that much longer.

Anyway. I am glad you can accept that you don't have experience in this area.

If you took the time to read the original thread that Harte posted you would learn that I am actually very sympathetic to his situation. But, unlike you, I do not trivialize the solution as him simply getting a mistress. Your thinking is both ignorant and lacking in depth. He has children to think of. He knows this and the complications that could arise.

[doppelgaenger]

I'm sorry doppelgaen another thread covered much of background. Yeah i really started thread because thought it would make for lively conversation. You're right low stuff.

All right, I will check what you posted, and come back with my revised response.

EDIT:

Holy shit. $9k ring? You know, it definitely sounds like you could afford some couples counseling.

On the other hand, how did she respond the last time you asked her if she was satisfied with the relationship?

[vashti]

I'm dying laughing here reading the responses from vashti and IndiReloaded. Such typical female crap, "let's blame the guy b/c women are the real victims." Nukka Puh-leaze! The guy has been doing his job to be a good husband and a father. God forbid he's a human being with physical urges. All he wants is sex but doesn't want to tear his family apart in divorce. Now ask yourselves, "Is sex really worth splitting up your family over?" Spare me your politically correct bullshit that he should stay in a sexless marriage. If his wife knows he's not satisfied with their sex life and does nothing to improve it, then he should be allowed to have a mistress.

WTF? I never said he shouldn't have a mistress.

[NeoSeminole]

IndiReloaded says:

"Thank you Neo, coming from a student I cannot tell you how much your evaluation of my reading ability means. LOL. I'm sure you think you are smarter than your professors also. I meet the odd kid like you. You will grow up eventually, but meantime it will be a hard road for you to reign in that ego. Good thing you aren't actually becoming a doctor, it would take that much longer.

Anyway. I am glad you can accept that you don't have experience in this area.

If you took the time to read the original thread that Harte posted you would learn that I am actually very sympathetic to his situation. But, unlike you, I do not trivialize the solution as him simply getting a mistress. Your thinking is both ignorant and lacking in depth. He has children to think of. He knows this and the complications that could arise."

LMAO, you are such a sore loser. I've broken down your formula when arguing as follows:

1) call person "doll," "hun" or some cutesy name to connote an inequality of power
2) bring up differences in education to "look" more credible
3) throw age in there for good measure
4) completely ignore any challenges, such as your obvious lack of reading comprehension
5) talk in a pompous tone

[doppelgaenger]

Honestly, nobody gives a **** about that stuff, Indi and Neo. Keep it at the PM level.

Let's continue the thread in a manner that benefits Harte.

[Gigabitch]

If his wife knows he's not satisfied with their sex life and does nothing to improve it, then he should be allowed to have a mistress.

I never said he shouldn't have a mistress.

You've read this guy's intro thread, right? Do you really think he could get away with that? She would string him up on a phone pole by his balls.

Every problem can be solved, Harte. There are a number of solutions. Is having a mistress around really your best way of mitigating the issue? Because that is really cheap, low down, scum-of-the-earth garbage you're talking.

I agree. Cheating isn't the answer. It's going in the wrong direction.

Harte, you have to start manning up and doing your part in this marriage and insist that she stop acting like a minion of the Dark Lord. You're enabling this crappy behavior in her, and have been for many years.

[IndiReloaded]

You've read this guy's intro thread, right? Do you really think he could get away with that? She would string him up on a phone pole by his balls.

I agree. Cheating isn't the answer. It's going in the wrong direction.

This isn't about Harte getting a mistress for sex. That is a superficial answer & Harte knows it. Its well known that men do not get mistresses for sex. Sure, they have sex with them (duh) but that's not the reason they get them.

The number one reason men cheat? Same reason as women, actually: emotional neglect. Guys who feel unappreciated, undervalued and disrespected cheat.

Only 8% of men cheat for sex. Married men need to feel admired and appreciated. Give them that and most men (those who want marriage and family) won't stray.

[url]http://www.newsweek.com/id/160910[/url]

A mistress won't solve Harte's problems in other words. Even if he keeps it a secret, his primary problem is his wife is a disrespectful bitch who won't work with him on problems. Sounds to me like its her way or the highway and Harte is genuinely afraid of this woman, probably for the hell she turns their family into when she's upset. The lack of sex is just a symptom of their deeper problems.

How are we doing, Harte? Sound about right?

[Gigabitch]

Word, indi.

[Harte]

Quick update:

After 8 days of no communication I decided to start dialog, I realized she is just stubborn enough to never quit the "cold treatment" unless I initiated communication, I base this on historical information.I sent her an IM, even though she was sitting in other room on computer Harte: "So you want this relationship to end am i correct?" Wife: "Yes".

I guess at this point what ran through my mind was posts I've read here that say when a women says its over ITS OVER.

I then sent her some corporate copy/paste gossip about some of our company personalities she knows, I knew she would light up over this lol.

She responded with a comment about the people involved after some time.

I went out and sat next to her in the kitchen where she sat with laptop at kitchen table, she immediately left room.

I caught up with her in our backyard where she sat with the laptop. I said: "Well I'm not going anywhere I'm not leaving these children " She replied:"I guess we'll just be room mates then".

LOL I then stole a line from Indi "I'm not leaving because if you re-marry your new husband probably will be calling our kids the golden kids from the golden dick". (sorry folks you'll need to see previous thread to see where this comes from)

This seemed to cut through her BS. (she chuckled and looked a bit guilty)
Then led in with how inappropriate it was when she said same about my own son.

We had strained coversation into the evening I explained how her regular "cold treatments" were mostly my fault as I allowed them to keep happening, how I no longer will accept this behavior and she would need to appologize and try to change going forward.

Later after I listened to her point of view, which seemed to miss the true source of things, she offered me her hand to hold. I repeated "you're going to have to tell me you're going to try and stop the "cold treatment" behavior. She said "I'll try."

[Gigabitch]

Now spank her. I'm serious.

[Harte]

oooh That's Hot!!

[Mish]

Tell her she's a golden turd from a golden arsehole