She broke up because she is confused. But I want her

[MCA622]

I'm going through something similar, except the other way around. My boyfriend of 5 and a half years and i just broke up. he wanted a break, but it was too hard on me so we decided to break up. he said we would talk and said he wanted things to get worked out, and he has entirely stopped speaking to me. It's been about 4 weeks. When i have gotten him to talk to me, he will admit he misses me but doesnt know if he wants a relationship.

i too have reached out for advise from others, but you have to realize that nothing anyone says will make it better. i still am struggling with the situation, and want to be with him very much. i wish he could give me an answer, and he says he cant. i just dont understand that.

i called him yesterday telling him that if he loved me like he says he does then he would not be doing this to me. i'm also going to send him an email with a lot of my feelings, telling him he's being selfish and keeping things from me.

I guess I just wanted to say that you are not the only one going through something like this. Try to live life day by day, and have fun with friends.

I too worry about how to react if he wants to get back together. i so badly wanna jump in his arms and be excited, but know i should be hesitant. i cant let him think he can just do this to me and there not be consequences. it's a very difficult, emotional, and stressful situation. i hate it

[sotnasa]

Yeah I know how you feel. But I decided to let her go. I cant sit here while I am hurt waiting for her to make up her mind. She also said that I could kiss any other girl. That is using this situation to make her feel better about all of this. By me being allowed to kiss other woman she doesn't have to feel bad about what she wants to do with him. But if she truly wanted me, no of this would be happening.

I know she will kiss try to kiss the other guy again. and if she doesnt feel about about kissing him because of me(I get a feel like that all she is trying to do. Therefore all this talk of me allowed to kiss other ppl) she might try to push things even further. And I cant be the one that deal with all the consequences of her actions because I am here waiting for her.

Not its harder than before because now I know that there is a possibility of US back together. But in order to do that I need to be the fall back guy and take all the shit she is giving me.

Now I know that I can't be with someone like that. Yeah it will be even tougher to get over her but its better now than to drag all of this misery even longer.

[cmacattack1]

I'm going through something similar, except the other way around. My boyfriend of 5 and a half years and i just broke up. he wanted a break, but it was too hard on me so we decided to break up. he said we would talk and said he wanted things to get worked out, and he has entirely stopped speaking to me. It's been about 4 weeks. When i have gotten him to talk to me, he will admit he misses me but doesnt know if he wants a relationship.

i too have reached out for advise from others, but you have to realize that nothing anyone says will make it better. i still am struggling with the situation, and want to be with him very much. i wish he could give me an answer, and he says he cant. i just dont understand that.

i called him yesterday telling him that if he loved me like he says he does then he would not be doing this to me. i'm also going to send him an email with a lot of my feelings, telling him he's being selfish and keeping things from me.

I guess I just wanted to say that you are not the only one going through something like this. Try to live life day by day, and have fun with friends.

I too worry about how to react if he wants to get back together. i so badly wanna jump in his arms and be excited, but know i should be hesitant. i cant let him think he can just do this to me and there not be consequences. it's a very difficult, emotional, and stressful situation. i hate it

I think that's a poor choice. This is your inability to handle the pain, to take it, and put it towards doing something positive with your life.

He made his decision so what do you hope to realistically accomplish by writing him an email? You phone call about your feelings did nothing and your email will not either. Are you trying to make him feel guilty so that he will want you back? A relationship cannot survive on guilt as a basis. You sound like you are pushing for a decision, kind of like an ultimatum. I promise you it will not get you what you want if you do that.

It will only work if you leave him be and he comes back to you because he wants to, not because you prompt him to. You have to face this reality. It's scary that you feel like you are losing him and it's very possible you will. You guys already broke up though and it is lost. You don't want this, you want to be with him and he knows it. It's all on him now. And it will only work if he wants to come to you unprompted. All you can do is concentrate on yourself now. Do things that make you happy, get your life back in order, gym, hang with friends, even date around if you feel like it.

[cmacattack1]

Yeah I know how you feel. But I decided to let her go. I cant sit here while I am hurt waiting for her to make up her mind. She also said that I could kiss any other girl. That is using this situation to make her feel better about all of this. By me being allowed to kiss other woman she doesn't have to feel bad about what she wants to do with him. But if she truly wanted me, no of this would be happening.

I know she will kiss try to kiss the other guy again. and if she doesnt feel about about kissing him because of me(I get a feel like that all she is trying to do. Therefore all this talk of me allowed to kiss other ppl) she might try to push things even further. And I cant be the one that deal with all the consequences of her actions because I am here waiting for her.

Not its harder than before because now I know that there is a possibility of US back together. But in order to do that I need to be the fall back guy and take all the shit she is giving me.

Now I know that I can't be with someone like that. Yeah it will be even tougher to get over her but its better now than to drag all of this misery even longer.

It's that old cliche line: love something and let it go and if it comes back then it was meant to be. It couldn't be truer.

It's good that you aren't putting her up on a pedestal and recognizing her for things she is doing wrong and the mistakes she made. But you guys both need work and this space apart is actually a blessing in disguise because it's an opportunity to grow. That's if you capitalize on this and work on yourself. It's also for her too, but probably not likely considering she's the one that dumped you and thinks she won and might have that whole mentality "oh if he was the one it would have work out" yada yada. It's wrong and she'll have to grow up sometime.

Maybe you are writing her off and saying you can't be with her anymore because of all these things she did but remember you made mistakes too. I know you want to burn this bridge because it pains you to think you have to wait around for nothing and it won't help the healing but you don't know what the future holds. Let this go like you said but keep in mind that you never know what can happen. You don't need to wait around, you can do what you want and whether you find happiness with her or somebody else, you really can't lose.

[sotnasa]

2 weeks since the break up and 4 days has passed since the last time I talked to her and she haven't contacted me. I been good until today, but for some reason today I missed her the most since we broke up. I been doing my best no t break NC and so far so good. However today has been really hard to handle the fact that she is not here. Now I am not only missing her being next to me but I am missing having someone close where there are no barriers where I can truly be myself. Before I was missing her for her person but its now all the things we did, the laughs, the cute times, the boring parts and even the fights.

[kai]

It's gonna be ok, bro. Just don't lose hope and keep on NC.

[cmacattack1]

It hurts man, I understand. Everything that I loved about my girlfriend really came to light when she wasn't there anymore. All those little things that really make you happy: little jokes you used to share, waking up in the morning next to them and doing some cuddling, their smile, everything. But you are doing the right thing. If you were like me at two weeks, you'd still be trying to get them to come back to you, by dropping all these emotions and letting it all out on them, and you would making them so much more upset and hurt. I still don't know if we are going to be together in the future, but it sickens me so much more that if I wasn't like that where I could be in terms of her thoughts and feelings.

You are doing the right thing and you are going to hit some rough patches. Remember, there isn't anything you can do and you have to push through it without talking to her. Use anything at your disposal to let some of it out and not only will it make you feel better but it will help the healing for both of you.

[sotnasa]

So she called me and said that she wants me back. She didn't do anything with new guy and apologized for all of this. She wants me but she feels that I am the woman of the relationship and doesn't want that. So she wants to meet with me to talk about that.

Now this complicate things even more. Yeah I learned a lot about myself in this last two weeks. I am glad this whole thing happened because even tho its only a little bit I feel like I grown.

Now this offer is very tempting due my feelings for her. But I don't want to take her back unless I know that she really learned something from this.

However I don't think someone would learn that fast.

I dont know what to do. Follow my heart and try to give it a second chance or just let her go.

[kai]

Test her a little more. Don't give in so easily.