Trying to recover from extreme devestation. Six year relationship w/ multi deaths.

[TheLostAdonis]

i think it's fuked up that she took your dog.

It is.

I put up pictures of the dog all around my room so i can remember her when i used to take her for long walks in the forest. have some really nice photos of her to remember her with. have nightmares about losing the dog. shes seriously ****ing me up. the dog would cuddle up with me every night. now i wake up expecting the dog to be trying to get me to spoon her, and their is just empty space. a void. futility and loss and agony, without a lesson learned.

[misombra]

can you get another puppy?

[Slim|Muffin|Bad]

harsh yet but he needs to be told.........

[TheLostAdonis]

can you get another puppy?

I can't replace her. Can you replace loved ones? People with "love advice" always seem to think that loved ones are so easy to replace because there are so many people...

[Aeradalia]

The only constant in life is change... sometimes we welcome change... sometimes we dread it. However you take it, changes will happen throughout your life. All you can do is adapt and overcome.

Cry if it makes you feel better, but don't linger in sadness for too long... happier times happen when you finally let go of the sad memories and ideas of what could've been.

[Slim|Muffin|Bad]

TheLostAdonis - not at all! I know for me personally, i will never find a girl like i had. I've met so many girls in my life and she was truely special, i've never clicked with a girl so well ever, i miss the fun we had, we did and went everywhere together and had a laugh wherever it was. Unfortunately she ended up cheating on me in the end whilst on holiday, she had a moment of weakness and it ended our relationship. When we finished it sent her a bit mad, she got with someone else and changed very quickly..........and i wont' go into the rest.

I'm just trying to block it all out. It's a mental battle every day. It's worse at the start and at the end, and when i wake up in the middle of the night - i truely loved this girl but she can't have thought the same (obviously). She was my everything, i did everything for her and loved her more than life itself. When she was gone, i started to question my life, like what is the point in living if i can't be with her. It was hard! Very Hard! and still is man. I miss my relationship so much and would give ANYTHING to be back in it, but i've accepted that its over, she's done too much and changed so much that it just isn't a possibility ever. Plus she's with someone else, and no matter what people say, there is no way you can get your head round that! Imagine getting back with her after she had been elsewhere??!? Think about what i said, some guy has had his cock in her? does that turn you on? it makes me feel physically sick!

You just need to get rid of everything, i took everything she ever give me, all our photos, letters everything to a special place we used to always go. It felt werid, on the journey there i felt she was in the car with me, when i got to the beach, i burn't the lot! I sat and cried whilst all the pictures burned, all the letters, all the special little things she give me! It was so so so hard, but after it, i never open a drawer and see a memory, and i feel like she's dead as werid as that sounds! I feel like i give her a final send off. This was only 3 weeks ago btw. I know i will never talk to her again in my life after what she has put me through in the aftermath of our relationship.

I'm just trying to get one with life, everyday i grow a little more distant from her, i am trying to make the effort to talk to girls, just so i feel better. It's hard, very hard as i'm very resentful and have been burn't very very bad. I still haven't had sex or even kissed a girl since we split up, because i wasn't ready to be intimate with a girl, i think i could be now though, i don't know we will see.

Are you going to try to be strong? do you want to live? because you aren't living at the moment my friend. You need to pull yourself out this pit of despair.




You have to think of it as playing a DVD. When the DVD starts playing of "her" you need to pick up the remote control and change the DVD. Because the reality is, its over, and she ain't coming back.

[cmacattack1]

What do you think a worse feeling is? Having the love of your life slip away because you weren't giving your one hundred percent, or giving that one hundred percent and it still not working? I'm a "didn't give one hundred percent" guy and it really haunts me. At least being a "giving one hundred percent" guy means there wasn't much else you could do.

[misombra]

i didn't say to replace her.

ugh, nevermind.

[TheLostAdonis]

What do you think a worse feeling is? Having the love of your life slip away because you weren't giving your one hundred percent, or giving that one hundred percent and it still not working? I'm a "didn't give one hundred percent" guy and it really haunts me. At least being a "giving one hundred percent" guy means there wasn't much else you could do.

This is exactly it. If she had been bad, done somethign wrong, cheated on me that would have been one thing. But because of my (inaction) my way of taking her for granted I lost her. Now I carry the burden of guilt that I squandered a true and innocent love that can never be replaced.

[Aeradalia]

What are you going to do now?

You can't very well wallow in misery... at some point you'll have to recover... move on... see if life will give you another chance at love.

[Aeradalia]

Get your feelings out in the open... just to keep from bottling them up... couldn't hurt and would help:

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/broken-hearts-forum/35956-post-here-instead-contacting-your-ex-10.html[/url]

[TheLostAdonis]

Just found out my ex is getting engaged.

I remember when the day she was to get her proposal was going to be one of the happiest days of my life. Now its one of the saddest.

[cmacattack1]

That was quick. Yikes.

Sorry man. Was all this waiting around worth it for you?

Today's the day you can start getting your life on track without her.

[TheLostAdonis]

I'm still reeling. I miss that dog so much. She really was my dog, I had this bond with her. She wants nothing to do with me. I won't be invited to the wedding. What did I do to deserve this? Almost six years of my life...for nothing??! Thats the whole point of life, having something great and then squandering it, and then your sad for the rest of your life. **** this world.

[VincenzoG91]

You need to stop this negative self-talk. You are thinking up self-destructive catch phrases and then repeating themself to yourself obsessively, sustaining negative emotions long past their natural expiration date.

I used to do this a lot before I took an anger management class, thinking to myself over and over things like "she can't talk to me that way" or "he better watch it." This negative self-talk kept my anger simmering until I would eventually explode with anger, shouting and breaking things and otherwise completely over-reacting. In that class, I learned to choose positive things to focus on instead, like "I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding" or "she is a good person who just happened to make a mistake." By choosing more positive thoughts to dwell upon, I took responsibility for my own emotions and worked towards a more positive life.

So, I'm not saying that you're angry like I was, but your sadness is a similar negative emotion that you have been nurturing, and you need to stop that. It doesn't do any good. It hurts you and pushes away the people who might help you.

Try these more positive thoughts:

I am kind and loving, and that is the kind of person I want to be with.

I am tough. I am a survivor.

I have learned from this experience and now I'm ready to move on.

I will focus on the awesome possibilities ahead of me in life.

Some day I will meet the right person and find real love.

Think up some more positive self-talk that is specific to your life, and reflect on them from time to time. Write them down and put them in places where you will see them... on the bathroom mirror, the refrigerator door, on a bookmark, on your key chain.