A Bit Confused...

[dewilliams2]

I wouldn't apologize...I'd look at it like if he can't take a joke then he isn't worth the trouble...if you want to continue communication with him then I'd just send a new message with a different subject...like ASKING HIM OUT....just a thought.

[elizabeth412]

It clearly was meant to be a joke, but email is a tough monster as a communication vessel. You never know how your message is going to be received. Anyway, I am only judging by the abrupt halt to our communications and thinking that my message may have been the culprit. Yes, it could be a host of other reasons, all of which seem unlikely at this point. Since the waters seem to be troubled, I am even less able to ASK HIM OUT, as you so boldly requested! Earlier in my posts, I mentioned that asking a guy out first or even calling him first is just not in my comfort zone - especially not now. I just wanted to know if anyone else saw trouble in what I sent him, even though the actual message isn't able to be seen.

[vashti]

A strange (and possibly unrelated) addition to the story -

I really debated about whether to add the following to this post, so here goes...

Over the weekend a woman I had never seen or met before started chatting with me by the beach boardwalk. (She was saying prayers for her grandchild who was due to be released from the hospital.) Anyway, we chatted for a few minutes about how beautiful the beach/sunrise was that day and some other small talk. I revealed nothing personal about myself as far as interests or relationships. She then said to me that I had been frustrated and struggling with a situation with a man I had recently met - within six months. I said nothing, but she continued and said that he can't move forward with me because of a situation with another woman and she was a "mess". She didn't know whether it was from drugs or alcohol or whatever. She said that although he really liked me, he was tied for now. He then said she could visualize him, and that he was blond. (At this point I began to get goosebumps but tried to remain unfazed in front of her.) She gave me initials of DRM that didn't make sense at first, but after thinking about it a moment or two, the "DR" could have represented doctor. The "M" was and still is a mystery, although there are two MMs in his last name. Anyway, I finally told her that it could very well be this guy (I gave her nothing like a name or anything to confirm what she was saying and was careful not to reveal much, for obvious reasons.) I also told her that the choices were very limited, as I hadn't really been interested in anyone at all for a few years until just recently. She believed it had to be this guy and mentioned that we had been in a previous life together. (I am on the fence about that one.) She also advised me that someone altogether different from my past regretted how things ended with us and still thought about me. I didn't put much thought into that one.

I am as skeptical as they come, believe me. However, I also am of the mindset that things happen for a reason and people come into your lives for different purposes and so forth. In closing, she said that she felt a strong connection to talk to me when she first saw me that day. We exchanged telephone numbers, mainly because she wanted to give me a spiritual reading the next day. On the fence about it, having never done anything like that before, I called her the next day and spoke with her for a minute or two, then she said she would call me back. She never did. For what it's worth, I welcome your opinions, which, as noted above, may not affect your views on this situation at all.

What is the relevance of this? Did HE say this about you? And WTF is this "previous life" stuff about? I didn't read your entire thread, but I can tell you for sure that no real doctor I have ever met would talk this way.

[elizabeth412]

No, no, no! I said in the first sentence that a woman told me all of that. The doctor wasn't involved in the conversation. I hesitatingly put it on here at the time because I thought she might have been talking about him. Who knows???

[dewilliams2]

It clearly was meant to be a joke, but email is a tough monster as a communication vessel. You never know how your message is going to be received. Anyway, I am only judging by the abrupt halt to our communications and thinking that my message may have been the culprit. Yes, it could be a host of other reasons, all of which seem unlikely at this point. Since the waters seem to be troubled, I am even less able to ASK HIM OUT, as you so boldly requested! Earlier in my posts, I mentioned that asking a guy out first or even calling him first is just not in my comfort zone - especially not now. I just wanted to know if anyone else saw trouble in what I sent him, even though the actual message isn't able to be seen.

Well ya gotta leave your comfort zone at some point or all the further you'll ever get is talking about what might be on here with us...and while I do hold myself in high regard in terms of my conversational abilities I don't think its what you really want....I had read earlier that you didn't feel you could do that...but that won't stop me from telling you to do it...because it is what you should do if you want to go out with him...I'm telling you a lot of times guys can be oblivious to a woman being interested in them.

[elizabeth412]

He would have to know from our email communications that there is some interest on my part, or he would not have flirted with the winks and so forth. Admittedly, I was just getting to the point where I felt very comfortable with emailing him and letting a little bit of my feminine wiles show through until BAM! My seemingly perilous email arose, and everything changed, apparently. He very well may have taken offense to it.

[Peter Pry]

Now I want to see this sumo wrestler, just to see how offensive it could possibly be, it's been built up so much.

You're here pouring your heart out to strangers, but find it so difficult to talk to someone you so clearly have chemistry with. This excessive meekness is simply not going to work in the happiness and romance department. The worst that can possibly happen is that he will say "no," which seems unlikely, but in which case you'll still be enhancing your happiness by being rid of all this anxiety you've accumulated.

Stop with the hand-wringing! We're not the person you should be opening up to! Grr!
Go to him!

[elizabeth412]

Is there a way I can send you a picture of the sumo wrestler in a private message? I'll check. Yes, the picture is as offensive as they come, but that is part of the humor I thought I was conveying - that it was so unlikely that he would have someone like that doing massages in his practice. I also made a comment that I would surely need chiropractic care after that "reward", wouldn't I? It's a stretch for him to be offended in any way, but maybe so...

You're so convinced he won't reject me. THEN WHERE IS HE? We were just beginning to get comfortable, maybe advancing to an actual date and then...

[Peter Pry]

You're so convinced he won't reject me.

No, I didn't say that. I said that it seemed unlikely. I also said that at this point, you're likely to be a happier person either way.

THEN WHERE IS HE?

Where are you?

[elizabeth412]

Peter,

I just sent you the link for the picture in a private message.

[Emesis]

I will shed some light into what's going through this guy's head. As someone who is also successful in life, I can relate to him being extremely busy and having high standards. This guy is a doctor and from your narration of events, sounds confident and suave (e.g. having an engaging conversation, putting his hands on you, and handing you his card). So I doubt he's too shy to contact you. I don't know why everyone else is saying that. He is most likely a very busy man and successful with the ladies. Thus several different scenarios present themselves: a) he's not interested but his charming persona leaves you guessing b) he's too busy to pursue you in between work and his personal life c) he doesn't feel the need to pursue you since he can get higher quality women who don't make him work as hard

[elizabeth412]

Regarding your last line

[... since he can get higher quality women who don't make him work as hard]

you automatically assumed that I wasn't a higher quality woman. Not nice. Nor accurate.

[Emesis]

you automatically assumed that I wasn't a higher quality woman. Not nice. Nor accurate.

I never said on a scale from 1-10, you're a 5 in terms of quality. I said he can get higher quality women.

Note that "higher" is used in this case to compare other women in relation to you.

[phys251]

I appreciate the advice to ask this guy out from you guys. However, I can't bring myself to do that now. It was a challenge enough for me to start the communication via email - a big step for me, even though the premise for that was a doctor referral. But you have convinced me that there is reciprocal interest after all this time, unless he has taken some offense to my last message, which he very well may have. Originally, I was going to send him a note of apology for any offense I might have caused with the whole sumo wrestler bit, but your posts have swayed me away from that - at least for now. (I still think it may have been a judgment error on my part.)

Keep in mind that, as a few people have said, doctors tend to be very busy people. If they seem to disappear, it isn't necessarily that they aren't interested or willing, but just as likely that their seemingly nonstop work gives them little time to think about anything else.

I never said on a scale from 1-10, you're a 5 in terms of quality. I said he can get higher quality women.

Note that "higher" is used in this case to compare other women in relation to you.

Um. Fail.

[Gigabitch]

Regarding your last line

[... since he can get higher quality women who don't make him work as hard]

you automatically assumed that I wasn't a higher quality woman. Not nice. Nor accurate.

It's a valid perspective. People on the internet have very little to go on. To me, you seem like a neurotic flake. That may be neither true nor accurate, but that's what it looks like from over here.