I blew it.

[Lyrum]

Last night I was talking to a good friend of mine and she made some stellar points. She said a lot of things that I didn't want to hear but were very truthful. My ex keeps telling me she needs space, and I'm not giving her that-

My friend told me something along the lines of, "She can't miss you because you aren't giving her a chance to"

I'm still too close to her even in our breakup. Today she was supposed to call me so we can talk again, apparently she's having a hard time dealing with family issues so I got my phone sitting here awaiting her call. She hasn't called me yet and I have to be off to work soon...I'm really tempted to give her a call now but I'm not going to. Even though I really want to. So instead I listen to Michael Jackson while getting ready to go.

I feel stuck, like I can't move on without her. I want to fight for her, but she says she needs space. I'm an insanely patient person, but yeah, this process is extremely draining.

[Lyrum]

Another few days has gone by. I talk to her here and there but there are days that we go without talking. She seems to be taking this much better than I am- and I hate it.

She's out with her friends having fun while I'm dying inside. I can barely get a hold of her, we haven't seen each other in a few weeks. I feel like I'm losing her, and the only way I know how to stay in contact is to bother her with texts and phone calls. I think about her out with another guy and it just eats away at me. It's the worst feeling ever and I can't seem to get myself out of depression. I want her back so bad I'm willing to give up everything for her.

[Kyouhen]

I'll be blunt dude, you already lost her, the point of distance is to make yourself the person you were without her, and for her to understand her feelings about you and herself, the more you bug her, the more your just hurting yourself.

It's only been about 3-4 days since your last post with the distance.

You gotta delete her number, stop txting and give yourself time, your going to smother her

[Teddy057]

At this point, it sounds like you're just sitting on her back-burner and only used if she needs comfort.

[BelievNLove]

very true cmacattack1. Also, if the positive changes you are making in your life are real and lasting, she will ultimately see this. Respecting her space will go a long way to show her you care about her feelings. Let her know it is impotant to you as well to grow and that you are moving forward with your life. I know it's hard when your phone feels like a life sustaining appendage, but staying busy really helps to fill up the time!

[Lyrum]

Thanks BelievN, I just wish it were easier. Time seems to go by so slow, there isn't a minute where I don't think about her- and I'm just left with a lingering pain in the center of my stomach, and in the back of my head. I worry about her so much, I know I'm doing damage to my body by being this worked up, and I haven't felt 'good' since the last time I was with her.

You guys have been giving me a lot of advice, and I've learned a lot about myself through some of the responses I've gotten.

I want to get through this mess and continue to live like I know I can.

[Teddy057]

The perfect remedy for any heartache is an intense workout, maybe a few a day.. It's been getting me through each day, going through a hard break up myself.

[JasonG]

Keep yourself busy somehow as it is obvious you are still dealing with this breakup pretty rough. I would suggest focusing more on your hobbies, whatever they may be. The point is to focus on yourself as much as I'm sure she is right at this very minute. I doubt she is thinking as much about you as you are about her. Calling her is not helping your healing process whatsoever. Cut off all contact... delete her number, stash or throw out any items that remind you of her, if you're on Facebook/MySpace/etc try not to check out her profile or if you must just delete her but in my opinion I'd wait on that to make sure that is what you really want (as she would think you don't want to be friends... because you don't know the answer to that yet). Try and surround yourself with positives things. Friends and family should always be there to cheer you up. Make sure that you have someone that you can trust to confide in and let all of this stuff out of head right now and believe me you should slowly start to feel better because it's out of your system. Make sure that you know your not the only one going through this kind of thing and trust me there is always people worse off than you (read my story if you want). Forget about her right now because your more important at this very moment! I know it's REALLY hard, man. It's one of those pains nobody likes going through. It's like somebody pulled your heart out of chest and left you for dead. But don't worry over time it will get better but like I said what you need to do is get out there and keep busy. Don't be hanging around waiting for her call, stop wasting your time! If your meant to be together then it will happen one day but don't hope or dream about that day because you'll only be prolonging your healing.

[cmacattack1]

Thanks BelievN, I just wish it were easier. Time seems to go by so slow, there isn't a minute where I don't think about her- and I'm just left with a lingering pain in the center of my stomach, and in the back of my head. I worry about her so much, I know I'm doing damage to my body by being this worked up, and I haven't felt 'good' since the last time I was with her.

You guys have been giving me a lot of advice, and I've learned a lot about myself through some of the responses I've gotten.

I want to get through this mess and continue to live like I know I can.

Easier said than done man. I think about my ex every day too, but I know that what I'm doing is the right thing and more importantly the most unselfish thing I have ever done. You are really just thinking about yourself in this and how you can fix things for you and make you feel better. You can't have her like you were used to and all you can do is push forward. Which seems impossible, as if you are waiting for her to magically make everything better and come back into your life. You want to wait around but sooner or later, you know you can't.

[dan2k7]

Sorry to bump up such an old post, I was just wondering if either of the two guys ever did still have regular contact with their exes or whether they remained friends? I am going through a similar thing with my ex and have now realised that my complacency forced her to leave. I have accepted that she isn't coming back but I would be interested to know if time did heal your exes.