I feel like im slipping...

[qwertz]

I've heard of cases where sole mothers desperately crave to get out of the house and have discussions with other adults rather than dealing with a whole day of kid-level activities, once they get bogged down in taking care of difficult children. How's your social circle nowadays?

I work full time and so do get the adult interaction etc, and i also have a decent social life- though this is slowly getting harder to keep up as my son accepts less people to look after him now, and also his father hands him back at the weekend at the first sign of trouble.

[IndiReloaded]

oh shut the fuk up charlieboy people are just trying to be helpful.

Ditto. STFU you dumbass lawyer wannabe.

[misombra]

are you serious? people are trying to give you advice and because you don't like it you act like they didn't "read what you said?" and then talk down to us? why not just ignore it? does it really upset you that much? why the hell do you ask if it does. none of us can help you except to listen to you. it sounds like you don't even want help unless it doesn't cause you any stress or inconvenience. you're in a situation where you will always have to commit yourself to your son. for the rest of his life. i think you need to handle it better. i know many people who are just like you, only their children are in a much worse condition, and they are alone. i know people who are like you 40 years from now and they are still working with their children. they're not bitching about how people don't listen to them when someone tries to help them. they're grateful and feel lucky that people even care.

hate to sound harsh. i really do have sympathy for you, but i think you have a lot of growing up to do.

[IndiReloaded]

OMG, poor Q, I wasn't offended.... Great rant tho^. LOL.

Hey, aren't you supposed to be Uber-Zen right now?

[qwertz]

are you serious? people are trying to give you advice and because you don't like it you act like they didn't "read what you said?" and then talk down to us? why not just ignore it?

. .


where abouts did i say i didnt like the advice given? and how exactly did i talk down to you?..i certainly didnt mean to anyway.

it sounds like you don't even want help unless it doesn't cause you any stress or inconvenience

If i didnt want help, i wouldnt be posting about how to get it. Just because I try to explain what has and hasnt worked for me previously does not mean i dont want help.

you're in a situation where you will always have to commit yourself to your son. for the rest of his life. i think you need to handle it better.

Do you really think i dont know this????...handle it better in what way exactly? because believe it or not, i am not sorry for having the moan i do on here, i never complain or moan 'irl' i get on with things and have a smile on my face each and every day because i am just thankful i have my son with me at all.

hate to sound harsh. i really do have sympathy for you, but i think you have a lot of growing up to do

I dont want yours or anyone elses sympathy. And what exactly makes you think i have a lot of growing up to do?? because the fact you know im 22? I may still be young but i have grown up a hell of a lot in the last 4 years, i still have a lot to learn, as does every parent but im damn sure i dont need to be told to grow up.

[Charlie Boy II]

It was just annoying reading people say "why don't you join a support group?", over and over when she made it clear she's already in one, and that's it's the only one in her area, and it's not that helpful anyway. I thought I phrased it pretty politely, you touchy motherf-ckers.

Are you serious Misombra?? Your answer is completely disproportionate to what Qwerty said. If ten people suggested you try something you're already trying and it's not working, that might lead you to the conclusion they hadn't read what you'd written as well.

Indi - that's pretty much bang on the response I was expecting.

[Charlie Boy II]

Yep, im a member of the only support group local to me, they only meet once per school term around my area, i go to them when i can. But tbh I dont find them much help.

Vashti's right... support groups can help generate new ideas, offer the emotional support you need, and give you a place to vent.
.

Like vashti said, you should look into getting some organized support

I also know that some local churches have parent support groups (I have family in the midlands), that could be another option for you.

I think the support group is a good idea and it would probably help you if anything else then provide you with a venting place where others can identify with you and give you their emotional support. I think the idea of joining a support group can be a barrier because it's so outside of things that we normally do. But once you do join and attend a couple of times and it will become easier. I would also look for support forums online that could help, the anonymity of internet could be a first step.

If one support group isn't working it doesn't mean all support groups won't work. For example, LF is a support group. A group is only as good as the people that make it and they can support you in many different ways. If you don't want to talk about the past, that's fine it's not a requirement. The purpose of a support group is not to force you to do something you don't want to do, it's purpose is to give you support in a manner that you will find useful.

Do you feel like looking for some support Qwerty?

[Mish]

Do you feel like looking for some support Qwerty?

Come spend a week in some aussie sunshine. I got a nice spot here on the beach. I'll teach you to surf, we'll get drunk at night.

No apparently qwerty is looking to drop everything and fly half way accross the world to Australia with her son so she can have a nice long shag with you. Because that will fix all of her problems.

If you are looking for someone suggesting inappropriate advice (not to mention selfish and opportunistic) I'd first start with you CB. The "inappripriatness" of what others have suggested pales 100 fold in comparison to your "advice".

[IndiReloaded]

Indi - that's pretty much bang on the response I was expecting.

Well, its reassuring to know you can extend your puny brain at least that bare minimal amount. If you are annoyed, next time try not to express it in someone's elses thread who is looking for some sympathy, selfish idiot. Or make tasteless jokes that only you think are funny.

No apparently qwerty is looking to drop everything and fly half way accross the world to Australia with her son so she can have a nice long shag with you. Because that will fix all of her problems.

LOL, your true asshole colours emerge, CB. Pretty much what *I* expected.

Got anything useful to say to Q other than to waste your time highlighting the word support? You could have spent that time actually finding some useful info out for Q, except you don't really care. So, GTFO and go read some of the wanker threads and let the adults post here instead.

[Mish]

You could have spent that time actually finding some useful info out for Q,

But how would that help CB get a shag? What will HE be getting out of it? Come on Indi, you gotta make it worth his while.

It's so much easier to attack people who may have replied to the original post instead of reading the entire thread, because they deviate from the plan of getting a free root by exploiting someone vulnerable. Those opponents should stick with the program or be silenced!

[Petit Papillon]

Ok so Qwert... You can get help or suck it up. Something's gotta work,if not this therapist, than try other. Not this support group, take a longer ride and find another. Or hell, create your new one. We can't give you more advices ,cause there is not much more to do.
But seriously, therapy hurts a lot, but if it wouldn't bring a relief , nobody would do that . Don't say like "oooh I can' talk about it anymore etc" cause you have to, it's part of the therapy. HOW CAN YOU SAY the therapy didn't work if you quit after few sessions? Tell me how... People do therapies for few years and first then ,they can say they are "fixed". If you never try, you'll never win. But don't call few times "trying" cause it's some b-b-bull shit . I give you an advice. Log off LF, turn on google, look for a psychologist nearby and start again. But this time do it till the moment your therapist say "i can't do more for you - you should be fixed by now and if you're not ,it means you're a lost case". Just do it, stop ranting,stop bitching,stop being annoyed and depressed, just DO THE THERAPY.

[Kiechi]

You're all a bunch of ****ing children.

Qwerty --- My advice? Give the samaritans a call. Before looking for support groups and all that shit, sit down long enough to grab the phone, phone the samaritans and express everything. Even if it makes no ****ing sense, just get it out. Cry your heart out and break down. Let it all out. Only then by making that first step you'll whole heartedly find some other means of dealing with the situation and ultimately, adapt and gain control of the situation.

[qwertz]

Jeeez whats with the bickering. I actually think you took CB's suggestion the wrong way, I took it in a take a break, have a holiday and fun and forget about your problems for a little while..why does that suddenly mean he wants a root.
But anyway.. thankyou everyone for your suggestions, i am feeling alot better now, think it was just a bad few days in amongst alot of ok ones

[Gigabitch]

Jeeez whats with the bickering. I actually think you took CB's suggestion the wrong way, I took it in a take a break, have a holiday and fun and forget about your problems for a little while..why does that suddenly mean he wants a root.

Of course he does, but why should you have to fly across the globe to get it? He could come to you. I think he's being lazy.

[Mish]

Jeeez whats with the bickering. I actually think you took CB's suggestion the wrong way, I took it in a take a break, have a holiday and fun and forget about your problems for a little while..why does that suddenly mean he wants a root.

Because it does, I don't need to explain something this obvious. If he didn't want a piece of ass delivered to his front door he would've framed his "suggestion" differently.

What peeves me is that he knows you are vulnerable, he knows people have been "using" you (on his recommendation I might add) and yet his point of view "If they can do it, so can I".