Is she no longer interested or do I still have a shot?

[RdHrshyKss]

wow, this thread is getting a bit nasty.

no one has any idea what is going on through that girl's head. chris, you have a good point and girl has a good point too. she could be interested and just has been extremely busy with training or shy, or she could be a people pleaser/attention whore like girl said.

girl tried explaining to you why a girl would be like that and it seemed like you were just ignoring her explanations...just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's wrong. girls and guys think very differently so keep that in mind when you are getting advice from both men and women on this forum.

a woman like girl describes as being a people pleaser is someone who wants others to have a good opinion of them and has problems saying no, so they make excuses that someone would consider valid to get out of any commitments. an attention whore is someone who just likes getting attention from guys. a girl could be NOT interested in you, but maintain conversation and continue giving you false hopes just so that she can feel the pleasure of another guy being attracted to her. it's messed up and selfish, but it does exist, keep that in mind.

call one more time and tell her that you understand she is really busy and such, that your schedule is more flexible and that she should just give you a call when she is free and wants to hang out. the ball will be left in her court. if she calls you and schedules a date, then you'll know she was just busy or too shy to go out of her way those 2 weekends. if she doesn't call you and continues giving you the run around when you see each other at the gym, then you know she just likes the attention or isn't interested and just wants to remain friendly. at that point, just move on...

[girl68]

Ok, there was this girl I had the biggest crush on for a while and I finally got the courage to ask her out. This was last Tuesday.

Attempt to ask out number 1. She flaked, not biggie.

The weekend came and went and I failed to call her until Sunday night and I got her voicemail and asked her if maybe she wanted to get a drink sometime this week.

Attempt to ask her out number 2. Got your message and still didn't call you back. A little sketch.

Well I called Friday and left a message asking her to do something on a weekend. I told her to call me back. I never heard back from her.

Attempt to ask her out number 3. Total fail, not but you asking but it's getting pretty darn obvious this is her thing, call me- I won't return it though!

And now, this shall be attempt number 4 with still no sure sign she's interested beyond her telling you to continue calling yet no reciprocating.

And you're right, she could be shy but given what you've wrote on her so far, she isn't, she's little miss social butterfly.

[lahnnabell]

Chris, the only reason girl is getting indignant about this is because we see this BS time and time again on the forums. Some girl/guy comes on here wondering why in the world they can't seem to pin down someone they're attracted to.

As girl said, any woman that is sincerely interested will return your calls PRONTO. She will make some effort to see you. Sounds like this girl has no real intention of getting together with you, but she does enjoy seeing how far you'll go to date her. Good luck with it all.

[Chris4984]

Ok, well I'm sure you'll give me some bad news again, but I just spoke to her for about 15 minutes on the phone. She told me that the next three weeks are crazy for her. She does amatuer fitness and figure competitions and she has a very important one coming up in three weeks. We talked about how intense the training and preparation for it is. It is very insane and time consuming. She was calling me on the way back from a training session. She isn't lying about this either, I know for a fact she does this. Her goal is to go pro so its something she is very dedicated about and devotes a lot of her time to. How she does in this competition could help her achieve her goal of becoming pro. I'm sure her mind is completely focused on this and not some guy who likes her. I can understand that. She said she really wanted to get coffee and thanked me for being so understanding. We talked for a while about things and I said that after her competition is over we should get together and she said yeah. She then said that we should do cardio together at the gym. I see her there 3 days a week. I've got a good read on this girl, she isn't some immature woman who is going to play games. She was very friendly and receptive on the phone and I made her laugh. Who knows, she might not be interested and I'm sure that is the position you will take, but she did say she wanted to do cardio together, meaning that she wanted to spend some time with me. So I am going to do that. I'm not going to chase after her and call her. I'll see her at the gym and I'll do some cardio with her. After her competition is over, I'll ask her if she wants to do something. If she flakes out again, I'll be done. But in the meantime, I'm not going to focus on this girl. I'm going to continue living life and If I meet another girl somewhere in the meantime, then I'll pursue that. But at this point, I no longer care if she interested or not. If she truly is, I'll find out in three weeks. If not, who cares.

[girl68]

FINALLY, you grasp. How about let her come get you? Give and take my friend and so far you just give, give, give. Let her show you a little something... (as in let her come get you for that cardio she seeks).

[Chris4984]

Well, I'm done giving. If she really wants to do the cardio, she'll bring it up when I see her next. The only thing I'm going to do is ask her out again in three weeks and see how she reacts. If she flakes again, I'll move on. And like I said, in the meantime, if I meet another girl I'm interested in, I'll pursue that. I'm not going to let my life revolve around one crush. I know that is extremely unhealthy.

[lahnnabell]

I find it hard to believe that she can't pencil you in for at least ONE DAY. Not even a day. A couple of hours. If I really like a guy, I'll move my schedule and make it work. She's making it impossible for you to get together. Good luck. Keep moving forward.

[girl68]

^ that's what I thought... but who knows.