Am I acting too jealous?

[NBT]

I don't think it's appropriate if you are all serious about the relationship you share with your s-o.

This sort of hanging out with opposite sex friends outside the relationship is very studenty if you want my opinion...it's what you would do at school or at uni when you are still in this social arena where befriending people is nearly as important as having a bfriend/gfriend...

Once you've taken some kinda commitment with your partner then all sorts of things are supposed to naturally change, very often without having to talk about it...and yes spending one to one moments with attractive people from the other sex is one of these irresponsible things that should be avoided...

This is tough to agree with, yet it is ALSO tough to DISAGREE with.

On the one hand, who SERIOUSLY wants their S-O hanging out, one on one, with someone of the opposite sex? I don't.

But on the OTHER hand, isn't it a bit silly that we expect our S-O to cut off anyone they've ever known or been friends with, JUST because that other person is of another gender?

That's a bit much.

If her guy wanted to go get a beer with Jeff, it would be FINE. But going with Jennifer is a PROBLEM. Why?

Think about it: You either trust your man, or you don't.

Suppose Michael goes out with Jeff (which you're OK with) but they meet 2 other girls while at the bar? Then what?

Anything can happen. Just because he didn't GO with a girl doesn't mean he can't MEET one.

You might say "Yes, but I trust him not to hit on / be hit on / get too friendly with those bar girls."

Ok then, why don't you have the SAME trust when you KNOW he'll be with one?

The only difference is, one situation was planned, the other wasn't. Either way, vagina is near him.

Do you think he'll take it, or is it simply the same as him hanging out with Jeff?

[NBT]

It is odd that she isn't taking her fiance to the art exhibit. I bet she didn't even mention it to him.

Maybe her man doesn't like art?

[VincenzoG91]

Maybe her fiance doesn't like the doggystyle position, either. Fortunately, Michaela's boyfriend might be available.

[NBT]

Maybe her fiance doesn't like the doggystyle position, either. Fortunately, Michaela's boyfriend might be available.

LMAO! It's possible. It's definitely possible.

However, to be that paranoid can also be unhealthy. Trust me. I used to be that way.

[bluesummer]

This is tough to agree with, yet it is ALSO tough to DISAGREE with.

On the one hand, who SERIOUSLY wants their S-O hanging out, one on one, with someone of the opposite sex? I don't.

But on the OTHER hand, isn't it a bit silly that we expect our S-O to cut off anyone they've ever known or been friends with, JUST because that other person is of another gender?

That's a bit much.

If her guy wanted to go get a beer with Jeff, it would be FINE. But going with Jennifer is a PROBLEM. Why?

Think about it: You either trust your man, or you don't.

It's a problem, because unless they're completely unattractive to each other and/or have been friends for a long time before the relationship, men and women have a tough time drawing firm lines of friendship. It's not saying he has to cut off all his femle friends from BEFORE the relationship, but new ones that come into the picture are certainly up for scrutiny.

I just don't trust a girl who takes other people's men out, especially when she has a man of her own she can take out. If she wants to hang out so bad, get two more tickets and make it a group date.

[girl68]

Another angle: the girl's fiance (I assume) is NOT an artist hence may not enjoy this exhibit. Sometimes (not everytime) we like to enjoy things with people of similar interests. This could be the reason she didn't invite her fiance (or maybe she did and he declined).

That said I have a similar example. I salsa dance, my boyfriend doesn't but has gone a few times. So now, when I go I only seldom invite him because I know it isn't really his thing but from time to time he'd appriciate at least being thought of as invited. So this week I am going and did not invite him. Guess who I did invite? My male dancing friend... (1 male to be exact). It's not a date, it's just he likes going as do I. We're friendly and he knows I have a bf. Even IF he tried to make a move he'd certainly be stopped and I would not speak with him again (to date there have been no moves put on me). My boyfriend trusts me and this guy is single and likely wouldn't mind getting in my pants if I let him.

So it IS possible... one should be careful in certain situations but yeah.

Maybe you could try the telling him how you honestly feel without accusations... and tehn suggest you wouldn't mind attending as well, you'd buy your own ticket.

[Kaius]

Im the jealous type, and I dont see anything wrong with this. These 2 friends have something in common, and they wanna go see the exhibits at the museum. She is engaged, and your man has you.
It's natural to feel kinda left out I guess. It's good that he asks you first. If he's not attracted to her, then there is no issue.

[xxazurexx]

Im the jealous type, and I dont see anything wrong with this. These 2 friends have something in common, and they wanna go see the exhibits at the museum. She is engaged, and your man has you.
It's natural to feel kinda left out I guess. It's good that he asks you first. If he's not attracted to her, then there is no issue.

I fail to see what difference it makes that he is engaged and this other woman is taken. Since when have 'taken' people ever played by the rules. Some do, some don't.

My husband was married to me and the woman he cheated with, was also married. Didn't stop them from becoming friends and jumping each others bones....lol. People who are spoken for, have affairs with other people who are also spoken for, all the time.

And how does she know for sure he isn't attracted to her? Not exactly gonna go home and say 'WOW honey, I have the opportunity to go to a museum with some woman I find real attractive'... is he?? Course not. He will play down any attraction he may feel for her and because he wants to give the OP no reason for him not to go and he knows she would be unhappy with him going.

If I was the OP, I'd ask to be introduced to this new friend. I'd also say 'I'd be very interested in coming along to this museum also and when you two go'.

If he has nothing to hide, then the OP would be invited. In fact and if anything, he'd be glad his fiancee was showing an interest in his interest.

[xxazurexx]

Another angle: the girl's fiance (I assume) is NOT an artist hence may not enjoy this exhibit. Sometimes (not everytime) we like to enjoy things with people of similar interests. This could be the reason she didn't invite her fiance (or maybe she did and he declined).

That said I have a similar example. I salsa dance, my boyfriend doesn't but has gone a few times. So now, when I go I only seldom invite him because I know it isn't really his thing but from time to time he'd appriciate at least being thought of as invited. So this week I am going and did not invite him. Guess who I did invite? My male dancing friend... (1 male to be exact). It's not a date, it's just he likes going as do I. We're friendly and he knows I have a bf. Even IF he tried to make a move he'd certainly be stopped and I would not speak with him again (to date there have been no moves put on me). My boyfriend trusts me and this guy is single and likely wouldn't mind getting in my pants if I let him.

So it IS possible... one should be careful in certain situations but yeah.

Maybe you could try the telling him how you honestly feel without accusations... and tehn suggest you wouldn't mind attending as well, you'd buy your own ticket.

I could go salsa dancing and with some guy and yet not be tempted or have any desire to cheat on a partner. However it's something I wouldn't do and because I wouldn't want to give my partner the slightest reason to doubt me.

But I dunno....men are different I think. Men only tend to friend women, they are attracted too. Every single man who ever wanted to be my friend, wanted a friendship and soley because he'd been attracted to me. When he didn't get what he wanted, he didn't want to be my friend anymore - so I just totally gave up on having guy friends.

I'm just wondering why the heck a man would want to befriend a woman he wasn't attracted too and especially if he has a fiancee at home he could take to this museum. The OP would seem to up for the idea of going...so why choose to go with the woman he isn't attracted too, over his fiancee?

[xxazurexx]

Maybe her man doesn't like art?

My man hated shopping, but he still used to tag along with me and when I asked him too

[girl68]

I could go salsa dancing and with some guy and yet not be tempted or have any desire to cheat on a partner. However it's something I wouldn't do and because I wouldn't want to give my partner the slightest reason to doubt me.

But I dunno....men are different I think. Men only tend to friend women, they are attracted too. Every single man who ever wanted to be my friend, wanted a friendship and soley because he'd been attracted to me. When he didn't get what he wanted, he didn't want to be my friend anymore - so I just totally gave up on having guy friends.

Wow.... really? He don't doubt me. He's been, he knows the situation how I dance, and how I reject guys too. If he doubts anyone it's the dirty men it ain't me. He's had ample opprotunity to speak up truthfully too.

I find it hard to believe that each man decided to not be your friend becasue you didn't jump into bed with them. I have this feeling it was just 'cause they didn't like you, as a person. Men CAN be friends with ugly girls, they don't want to be friends with ugly people- on the inside.

[girl68]

My man hated shopping, but he still used to tag along with me and when I asked him too

That mean you're never ever allowed to desire to shop with a companion (male OR female) who actaully ENJOYED shopping instead of being dragged out?

[Teddy057]

Whenever people of the opposite sex hang out as "friends" I think there are feelings involved, at least from one person. Don't get me wrong, it can be great fun and someone isn't always thinking about sex, but, usually someone has it on their mind. As for your boyfriend going to some museum with this chick from work because she "happens" to have an extra ticket, that sounds like quite an intimate encounter. If your boyfriend isn't imaging banging her in every position possible while looking at the latest artwork, she probably is. This is all from personal experience, so don't take my word for it.

[lahnnabell]

If I were in your position, I would be more comfortable with this scenario if my boyfriend were hanging out with a longtime friend of his, not some new chick. The reason or this is that I already understand the nature of my boyfriend's friendships with these other women he's been friends with for some time. If he wanted to bang them or vice versa, I'm sure something would've happened already.

Suddenly wanting to hang out with a new female friend in a rather intimate way would put me off. Especially if he'd made no effort to introduce her to me. Also, a bad move on her part for not asking to be introduced to you. If she has any sense of empathy at all, she'll know that she's creating an awkward situation. What it looks like is she really couldn't care less about how the situation is perceived because it's benefiting her in some way. EVEN if it's purely innocent. She and your guy are creating friction where it is unnecessary.

I'll be interested to see how this situation pans out.

[xxazurexx]

Wow.... really? He don't doubt me. He's been, he knows the situation how I dance, and how I reject guys too. If he doubts anyone it's the dirty men it ain't me. He's had ample opprotunity to speak up truthfully too.

I didn't say he hadn't trusted me. I said I'd liked to give him no reason not to trust. As with your guy, he would've doubted the motives of the guys I was keeping company with - probably because guys know 'exactly' how other guys operate.

I find it hard to believe that each man decided to not be your friend becasue you didn't jump into bed with them. I have this feeling it was just 'cause they didn't like you, as a person. Men CAN be friends with ugly girls, they don't want to be friends with ugly people- on the inside.

I'm the one who has lived my life and I know it better than anyone having experienced it 'first hand'. And guys who wanted to be my friend, were after more....that is the way it was.

I think men can be friends with ugly women, yes....and if they have known them for years, as in if they knew from school or they are old friends of the family.

An ugly woman entering a mans life after he is 'taken' and he wants to be friends and to spend time with her and run around to museums with her....then no, I don't buy it. I think he is attracted to her, hence this sudden interest in her and his showing an interest in what she does.

And to go a step further, the woman who invited him, may in fact not be attracted him.

But I bet this womans fiance would 'doubt' Michaelinas bf, if he is aware they are visiting a museum together. Men don't trust other men....I wonder why that is?