Is it acceptable behavior ?

[Þēostru]

she sound pathetic, like she has no self esteem or not loves her self. she behaves like a bitch in heat, with her tail in the air and rubs her ass in every muttes nose. how can you just say she is your GF? i would laugh so hard.

[girl68]

Some girls are just like that- really, really "liberal" or whatever the hell you call it. Some like myself have a boatload more of traditional relationship class. The only thing that gets between my legs when I have a boyfriend is his dick, or my tampon. Stangers thighs don't even come close.

However, it would be the furthest thing from the truth to say I'd get aroused watching him dirty dance stange bar chicks; whereas your gf does...

You either bring it up, and accept her answer or bring it up and leave her after she gives your an unsatisfactory answer.

[Þēostru]

it is not me logical, why a "liberal" girl would want relationships or commitments and to walk in a discotque like a bitch in heat. this is not liberal or feminist. this is selfish and unreasonable. she think she can lick another mannes penis and expect her BF to kiss her afterwoard.

[TomerT]

I do agree with all the arguments above, but for the sake of discussion - where is a line between "self-respect" and "controlling" ?...Actually you can justify any controlling behavior with mask of "self-respect"...Isn't it so ? I do not want be her "dad" and tell her what to do...

[girl68]

Controlling is when you say listen up: there is to be no grinding, no flirting, and most certainly no drinking with random strangers when you are at the bar... "or else".

Self respect approach: hey babe, I am of the opinion that girls who are in loving and committed relationships shouldn't need or want to go out and get their freak on with random strangers. It makes me feel like you don't respect me or us or my feelings that I've already mentioned to you in this regard. I understand a mild want and need for a woman to feel desired and attractive to the opposite sex and that's fine you can do that without dry humping his leg. We're either going to need to be on the same page or I might have to say we're simply too incompatible to make this work.

See now, there's a damn big difference between expressing your feelings and being a control freak.

None of this works though unless you're actually willing to say a disagreement over this is a dealbreaker.

[TomerT]

Thanks, so if I understand it correctly the difference between "setting boundaries, self-respect, etc..." and "controlling, being clingy and needy" is approach and not the final result I am aiming to. Is it correct ?

[girl68]

self respect involves knowing how to walk away in the event it doesn't work as you hoped this is likely where your headed given her "liberal" views. The poster who said she does that because she would love it if you did it back this means that your views on what is acceptable in terms of boundaries doesn't match which means you will forever never trust her. It's not all approach as yourself what would she say when talking to others: I'm not allowed to have fun in the clubs anymore because my bf won't LET me. Or would she say, nah, I don't get down with boys like that no more it's disrespectful to the bf.

Basically the summary is this: you think what she is doing is crossing the line bordering on cheating... she thinks that your crazy to believe this any response other than: Wow, I didn't know you felt that way honey- I love you and of course will respect our relationship more consider that a thing of the past; any arguing just means she doesn't agree and never will nor will she abide.