Why men want to watch porn with their girlfriend/wife?

[Illusional]

I agree with tremolo. There are deeper issues here than him making you watch porn

he is trying to spark her interest in the variety of things that women can accomplish.


raverboy

[Raj1974]

likes variety

[tremolo]

he is trying to spark her interest in the variety of things that women can accomplish.


raverboy

At best, that is what he's trying to do, but I really doubt that is all there is to it. Any guy who tries to make his girlfriend emulate a pornstar isn't a great one in my book. If the sex is bad, or if he is bored, then there are other ways to go about improving it without referring your girlfriend to porn. I swear if I hear the phrase 'spice it up' one more time I'm going to throw something...

I find it really ironic, actually, that people talk about porn as some kind of instructional/inspirational sex aid, when most porn videos are incredibly formulaic.

[Wakeup]

Actually there are some really good ones out there for couples they actually have a more 'romantic' feel to them and they're nothing like the crap that's in the mainstream right now.

I always said if Hollywood put out a porn film less woman would be offended/scared/jealous of their partners watching and more women would watch.

[adamh1]

Interesting conversation.
I sit on the fence with this one. As a male, I can definitely see the stimulation in watching porn/erotica with my partner. On occasions I think it's great, it can definitely add a bit more spice to a mature relationship.

However when it becomes a main ingredient in achieving stimulation every time, then it becomes an issue. You should have a great sex life that you "add" to. Not a boring sex life that you HAVE to "add" to.

No matter what anyone says, relationships need a little give and take. Especially in the bedroom. What gets one partner off may leave another unsatisfied, and vice versa. If porn gets him off and he enjoys it, try rolling with it a few times. But at the same time ensure that your needs are met with oral or whatever you find stimulating.

If you feel overly uncomfortable with this then perhaps try having an open conversation with him about what he finds turns him on. Perhaps there is something else in his list that you could accommodate with?
For me I find that even if I don't particularly enjoy something, I get off on seeing my partner get off. So in a roundabout way it works for both of us.

[Wakeup]

For me I find that even if I don't particularly enjoy something, I get off on seeing my partner get off. So in a roundabout way it works for both of us.

.. This! ...

[tremolo]

As a male, I can definitely see the stimulation in watching porn/erotica with my partner. On occasions I think it's great, it can definitely add a bit more spice to a mature relationship.

And who does this add spice for? The key words here, I think, are 'as a male'... men love porn, and a lot of women hate it. I watch porn sometimes when I'm single, but I absolutely hate it in the context of a relationship. Much as I go out of my way to please my boyfriends -- often to the exclusion of my own pleasure -- I would have major problems with him trying to introduce porn into our sex life. I don't see why a man would for any other reason than that he wants to view some other naked woman while he's doing his partner - which, to me, would suggest that as long as his eyes are glued to the screen -- and probably for awhile after -- that partner is little more than a masturbation aid for him to use while he fantasizes about someone else. I'm sure there are some who will object to this, but I have a hard time seeing it any other way. If my partner insisted on watching porn, and if I decided to be okay with that, I would much prefer that he kept it to himself.

[Wakeup]

To each their own, Trem. There's no reason I can see why you would have to take flack for your choices. (differing of opinions is not flack though).

The only thing I'll say is in response to this:

Much as I go out of my way to please my boyfriends -- often to the exclusion of my own pleasure

I'd never feel exclused from pleasure even if I was the one pay 100% attention to my partner because his being pleased, pleasures me as well. In otherwords, I get just as much pleasure when I see he's pleased as I would if he were paying me all the attention. I'm not sure how else how to explain that..

[maxmax]

Not me, l hate porn.

[tremolo]

The only thing I'll say is in response to this: I'd never feel exclused from pleasure even if I was the one pay 100% attention to my partner because his being pleased, pleasures me as well. In otherwords, I get just as much pleasure when I see he's pleased as I would if he were paying me all the attention. I'm not sure how else how to explain that..

I definitely get pleasure from giving him pleasure, which is part of the reason I'm so happy to do it. What I meant, though, is that my boyfriends have typically not been inclined to reciprocate, which is why, eventually, I feel my own pleasure has been denied or ignored. My point really was that while I'd do almost anything to make my partner happy - even when he isn't doing the same for me - watching porn with him is where I draw the line. Actually, I draw it at anything involving other women...

[Wakeup]

meh... when my guy gets complacent I just tell him "Me First" this time I have no patience for feeling negative thoughts about me being ignored I just get it out there. I think that directness comes with age as I do remember holding onto feelings of resentment when younger until I said, to hell with this and spoke candidly. In which case he was happy to oblige. I also feel happy to point out a hot chick to him when we're out and about without fear or insecurity which also came with time and being secure in his love and the solid state of our relationship.

Cheers.

[Wakeup]

Not me, l hate porn.

Yes, you are our resident enigma.

[HeartIsAching]

To each their own, Trem. There's no reason I can see why you would have to take flack for your choices. (differing of opinions is not flack though).

The only thing I'll say is in response to this: I'd never feel exclused from pleasure even if I was the one pay 100% attention to my partner because his being pleased, pleasures me as well. In otherwords, I get just as much pleasure when I see he's pleased as I would if he were paying me all the attention. I'm not sure how else how to explain that..

Makes perfect sense to me. I'm the same way.

[tremolo]

I also feel happy to point out a hot chick to him when we're out and about without fear or insecurity which also came with time and being secure in his love and the solid state of our relationship.

You know, I do that occasionally, although it usually just embarrasses my boyfriend, who tries to deny that he's even noticed her. I don't have a problem with my boyfriend noticing and momentarily appreciating beautiful women. I do have a problem with him going out of his way to ogle and fantasize about them - particularly when I'm in his company.

[maxmax]

Yes, you are our resident enigma.

But l LOVE boobies.