How do you know if it's true love?

[Only-virgins]

Yes! That is Cort Pedersen's work. He blocked mothers rats "love" for their pups by blocking oxytocin. But, before you say "see, I told ya", the interesting thing is that this blocking was PREVENTED if there was a few days of physical contact b/t mum & pup! So some other system had been ACTIVATED, which is what I'm arguing for!

He makes a distinction b/w the first response, which REQUIRES oxytocin (he called it "intiation") and that which NO LONGER required it ("maintainance"). If you permit me a direct analogy, then "initiation=infatuation" would be a prerequisite for "maintainance=love". But LOVE no longer requires "infatuation".

What a fascinating discussion! I'm NOT a psychologist, BTW (ha, not even close), just find it neat that modern science allows us to even attempt to tease apart human emotions. The old poets would either be jealous or appalled.

Anway, since we won't get any definitive answers from this, I'm prepared to give up this thread. Unless we're prepared to inject ourselves w/an oxytocin antagonist on our next date, that is. (Is it REAL?--hey, lets INJECT TO CHECK!). Sad. It would take all the guesswork out of it...

Hope this all helped DK!

That makes alot of sense actually. Its funny because I actually read his work...I always thought that his only fault in this was that he did not think about the natural instinct for rats to take care of their young. I actually am pretty sure that they have injected chemicals to find out effects. Their is a dilation of the pupils, increase in heart rate, and other effects I can not remember. Its fine to research this but I hope some of these researchers do not confused motherly instinct with love. Your anology is actually very good....damn....Maybe I just have not felt this maintainance towards an out of family person but could it not be this? initiation = love ....maintainance = attachment? I think thats what I have been saying. I think thats the problem in the first place....people just can not agree on one definiton...old famous poems even quote love as the lust feeling/intitation..so what am I to believe is the really definition? Thanks for the post. I guess we can not prove more so we should end the discusion

back to the drawing board for me

[decaffeinated]

IMHO, FWIW, IANAL, etc.

If this is your first or second relationship, you're looking at a crap shoot. You don't know what love is, and nobody else can tell you. The best thing you can do is carefully analyze ever possible angle of the relationship, and look for problem areas. Where are your incompatibilities? What things do you want in a partner that the other person doesn't have? Make a mental list of everything wrong with the relationship, and decide if you can put up with that for the rest of your life.

The best relationships aren't necessarily built out of flowers, magic, and great sex. Sometimes they're just incredible friendships. How well do you get along with this person when you're both tired, hungry, pissed off, and trying to get something accomplished as a team? Do you fight, nitpick, and bicker, or do you pull together, strengthen each other's faults, and push through?

If this person were terminally ill, would you sit by their bed side every day and read to them, just to ease their pain a little? Would you let this person go if that's what it took for them to be happy?

Don't be afraid to pull the relationship apart and subject it to the cold light of examination. If it's true, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If the whole thing collapses upon scrutiny, you just saved yourself a lot of time, energy, and pain.

[indigosoul]

IMHO, FWIW, IANAL, etc.

If this is your first or second relationship, you're looking at a crap shoot. You don't know what love is, and nobody else can tell you. The best thing you can do is carefully analyze ever possible angle of the relationship, and look for problem areas.

This sounds right to me.

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the answer is 51 (i think)

[neo511]

Agruements aside..

Love is the string you hold onto everyday, hopeing the day will be better than the last. Love is the feeling you get when you looking your girls eyes and see nothing but a perfect, true being. Love is not caring that she left you, but its the feeling of happieness just thinking about getting back together. Love is spending every penny you make you make her happy, not because she asks for it.. but because you want to.. and are happy doing it, because you think.. "its only money" Its trust, its blind, Love is many things to many people.. But one things is the same for everyone.. You shouldnt take it for granted..

[ASHLYNN NOVA]

I think love is a feeling that can't ever be taken away, When i look at my man it doesnt matter if were having the best moment of our lives or the worst fight ever, i can look at him and smile because i know hes mine and i love him. Loving him means i care about everything he does, thinks and cares about. I care about the person he is. I care about what he represents and what makes him happy. Thinking about him puts a smile on my face, and he can heal any pain i go through. You'll never know what love is until you find it. If you have to ask yourself, then id say its not true love.
Remember theres a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. Just think about the happiest moment (thing) in your life, would you trade that for being with the person you love? Cant say much more, but when you know, you'll know .

[Only-virgins]

I think love is a feeling that can't ever be taken away.

Yes, it doesnt mean you have to be with the person either. No such thing as anything being un-conditional. What if he cheats on you?