Best friend told the girl of my dreams that I liked her. Nothing happened!

[Prodigal]

I agree with Indigo. Pessimism can be good to an extant.. but only when coupled with optimism.

[Smithx]

Well today.. I went to her house.. it was just me, Xavier, Katie, and her best friend. Us 4. Erin (KT's Best friend) started to say that she liked our bass player. Xavier was talking about his girl friend.. while Katie acted as if she had known all of us for 500 years.. but I.. the idiot.. yet again said nothing.. She later went to get her hair done.. and asked us to stay at her house while she was getting this done. She said she would be home 1-3hrs later.. and we said ok (Since we were watching a few movies anyway). As soon as she left.. 2-3 hours went by and she wasn't home. It was getting late, and after going the Dairy Queen and this place called 7 Bridges (A nature park with walk paths through a nice hilly forest). I told her how long each letter took, and she was like 'wow'.. then she took me home and that was it.. I hate myself more than ever now..

Guess yall don't want to hear this.. Imma just stop using forums and just play this out.. I keep going all 'pesimistic' and then i get people like kao here.. so yea.. I will just play it alone..

[kaotic02]

Look man. I am not trying to be mean. You're first post ended with "I have opened myself up to you online, please help me on what i should do" or something similar. Now everyone has said the same thing again and again just in different way. You still continue not to listen to us. Which tends to piss somone off or irritate them when you ask us for guidance or advice and we give it to you very clearly and you still manage not to do any of it. being pessimistic or optimistic in this type of situation wont help because you can be as optomistic as you want but she can still just turn you down and crush your heart. and no matter how you take on life that kind of news will leave you crushed of course. dont hate yourself. Don't think just because you can't have her the world is over. Sure your feelings for her are strong but dont dwell on the negative thoughts and overgeneralize them. just hang in there and until you get a good solid reasoning of how she took the letters. keep tryin the best you can to talk to her. because you wont know the answers unless you ask them. remember she cant read your mind, so anything you want to know you have to ask her. just try and remember that.

[indigosoul]

"Come to the edge," He said. They said, "We are afraid." "Come to the edge," He said. They came. He pushed them...and "SPLURT!" they are dead.

Dumbass. Only b/c they forgot to spread their wings. Maybe you really ARE dumb... Anway, outta hear, got reallife ppl to help...

[Smithx]

What yall think.. A quiet person like me should do. Try and get to know Katie a little more, day by day.. then when we all go out to a movie or something next week (Xavier's planning it now).. then say it to her on the side? Should I ask Katie if its ok that I want to talk to her? I feel as if I need permission from her to be even near her now. I don't want to be anywhere without asking her "Is it ok if I come? Cuz I know that you know about those things, and I don't want to hurt your feelings or make you feel pressured to have me go".. I guess I will slowly try and get to know her more and more.. but I am so quiet. Even to my friends I am always quiet, as much as I want to talk (Could be about anything non-important) I still sit there and keep quiet... Yesterday that happened too at Katie's house, but that was a given. But every single day, quiet and alone? That is a problem, and I want to fix that so Katie can have a sence of something that says I'm not a stoner that just sits there everyday and doesn't talk.. I'm not a stoner.. but I sit there everyday and it sure as hell doesnt supprize me if people think that way.. I havn't been able to sleep in the past 10 days because I continue to cry myself asleep and so my eyes are shot, my voice isn't talking.. and nether are my actions. Ok all.. Im done here.. Gunna delete this from bookmark

[Only-virgins]

Dumbass. Only b/c they forgot to spread their wings. Maybe you really ARE dumb... Anway, outta hear, got reallife ppl to help...

I dont have any wings . You call me dumb when your the one who thinks we have wings? then again...maybe you have been drinking to much red bull . Oh..go help the "real life" people..cause we are "fake life" people here. I doubt you will be helping anyone anyways....more like annoying.

What yall think.. A quiet person like me should do. Try and get to know Katie a little more, day by day.. then when we all go out to a movie or something next week (Xavier's planning it now).. then say it to her on the side? Should I ask Katie if its ok that I want to talk to her? I feel as if I need permission from her to be even near her now. I don't want to be anywhere without asking her "Is it ok if I come? Cuz I know that you know about those things, and I don't want to hurt your feelings or make you feel pressured to have me go".. I guess I will slowly try and get to know her more and more.. but I am so quiet. Even to my friends I am always quiet, as much as I want to talk (Could be about anything non-important) I still sit there and keep quiet... Yesterday that happened too at Katie's house, but that was a given. But every single day, quiet and alone? That is a problem, and I want to fix that so Katie can have a sence of something that says I'm not a stoner that just sits there everyday and doesn't talk.. I'm not a stoner.. but I sit there everyday and it sure as hell doesnt supprize me if people think that way.. I havn't been able to sleep in the past 10 days because I continue to cry myself asleep and so my eyes are shot, my voice isn't talking.. and nether are my actions. Ok all.. Im done here.. Gunna delete this from bookmark

Why do you ask what you should do and then keep telling us your leaving? anyways...if you are offended even by what people say online and are pressured to leave then holy crap you seriously have to much of a shy problem. You have to stop caring about what other people think. I am quiet but I like to be quiet. If you have something to talk about then do it. You were at her house already.. that is an opportunity you should have taken. What is it exactly you want to tell her word for word?

[kaotic02]

I havn't been able to sleep in the past 10 days because I continue to cry myself asleep and so my eyes are shot, my voice isn't talking.. and nether are my actions. Ok all.. Im done here.. Gunna delete this from bookmark

heh. man you are turning this into a bigger issue then it actually is.... and its your fault.

[Smithx]

To Kaotic: Go to hell
To Virgins: I want to tell her everything, I want to tell her that.. It's been hurting me everyday that I havn't said anything. I want to tell her that I have felt this way for 3 years, and it was all up in my mind and my heart.. but never out of my mouth. I am very shy, yes.. But I don't want to be, and everytime I try to break the shell, I mumble, I speak very quietly, and I can only say things that have importance and significance to something, just like talking 'business'.. I guess.

I want to talk to her as soon as possible. I want to tell her everything, I want to express myself as I have been in my mind over and over. I want to beable to talk to her without being scard to death, the suspence of not knowing what she is thinking is killing me.

I want to know. I want to have her tell me what she is thinking. I want to at least be a friend to her, instead of this stupid outcast that I currently am. I want to have a voice, that says what's on it's mind, instead of keeping it all inside. Even when I am severly depressed, I don't scream, or throw things.. I just sit here and allow all of it to bottle up. I want to not be alone in this world for the rest of my life, even if that means not being alone for a little while. I have never experienced love before.. and if I don't do anything now.. I will never have this again. If she doesn't think of me in the way that I have been thinking of her.. and wishes that I leave her alone.. I would feel shot down, and depressed.. but at least I would know why I was. At least, in time I could get over her decision, I respect her choices and I don't want to force them upon her. At least I can know the truth.. but still.. knowing all the odds and ends of which can happen.. I continue to just SIT here and do NOTHING about it. I sit in school, crying inside all day long.. and I don't want to talk to anyone face to face.. ever, until I figure all of this out..

I hate being anti-social, and even though theres something inside of my screaming to come out.. nothing happens.. and it's hard too.. because the one girl I like is soo head over heals for my best friend whom already is in love..

Oh and Kaotic-- I have never felt this way about ANYONE, and this is as big as it gets to me. Nothing is more important to me, NOTHING.

I don't even give a crap anymore. I've cried so much over this, my tears have dried up and I have had nothing left. I will tell her, one way or another.. wether it's Saturday when (I want) to out to the movies with her and her best friend.. or when me and her are alone in a room somewhere, or alone in the hallways walking past eachother..

[Smithx]

Been a while hasn't it? Well, I'm sure you don't want to re-read all of that about stuff so lemme lay out whats been happening in short form:

1. 41 Days ago, I told my best friend that I liked this girl. This girl happened to be very good friends with him. My friends name is Xavier. The girl: Katie.

2. 41 Days ago, my best friend told Katies best friend (Erin)

3. 41 days ago, Erin told Katie that I wrote her the 3 anyonomus admiration letters that she had gotten (She cried when she read the first one).

4. I have felt emormusly guilty for being the shy person I am, and not saying anything to her.. when she knows who I am.

5. My best friend said something to me today in my personal forum. We were going to 'go out' again with Katie, Erin, Xavier, and another friend Andy. We've been out doing things like is once and a while for about 3 months and went around town with them about 3 times. So basically once a month. Xavier suggested we do something today actually.. but then I read what he said to me in my forum:

dude, we wont then. Just the band. Just us. Nothing else. I have so much i should say to you, but I dont wanna hurt you or raise your hopes. Cuz everything could be false. I dont know what to do. I definately cant sit back and watch you tear yourself apart from the inside out, but I cant give you false hope. I just dont know.

That gives it away.. doesnt it? That Katie hates me.. Those two are very close friends (Xavier is already in love with another, and they are just good friends- I hope anyway, at least I know Xavier doesn't like her). So I stay home from school today and break my perfect attendance on three years of school to cry in my bed, alone, cold.. and afraid.. So I go to school anyways this morning to get my work from my classes.. Katie, ever since she knew about me never says 'hi' to me anymore in the halls, or in class she never talks to me anymore.. I've been writing another letter to her before Summer vacation (School ends the 15th), trying to explain myself.. but now its just going to turn into something I would 'vent' on and she wouldnt want to read it because now I know how she feels.. But yet.. I am too shy to even ask her to sign my damn yearbook, look her in the eye, talk to her with a striaght face.. I've liked her for 3 years, and its come to this. Since it has been 3 years, and 41 days with her knowing this.. I still havn't said anything and I feel the only way I can actually get the words out is by another letter.. I don't know what to do!

[Prodigal]

Smithx,

I'd like to know what happened these times you went out with your friends and Katie. How was the chemistry between you two? Did she pay attention to you or more to the other people? Did you feel like you connected with her?

Why don't you try it? Saying hi to her, or sparking a little conversation in class, or asking her to sign your yearbook... Those are things that acquaintances do... and if you can't bring yourself to communicate with her in any way besides these letters... then I'm sorry man, this seems pretty doomed. Don't leave yourself to these letters... they kill because it is all one sided. There is no response... you can go off as long as you want. Try talking to her about whatever... you NEED to, if there's ever going to be any chance. You don't just get a girl by proclaiming your love for her without really getting to know her a bit first. At least, that's how it has been in my experience.

Maybe what you're going to have to do is to sit her down, and FORCE words out. You may literally have to force yourself to say them... but you know what? I bet you'll feel very relieved when you do say them. Come on, man... you're letting this kill you without a fight! There are two choices: walk away and leave it behind you, or fight it! You may 'die' now if you lose, but you will be reborn in a sense.. you'll learn from it. Only thing is, don't walk away unless it's because YOU want to.. not because you're afraid.

And you can't just assume that she hates you. I mean... I don't think he's getting to that. I think what he is saying is much like a lot of us are saying here: don't let this kill you. He's apparently concerned about your well-being at this point. He says he doesn't want to tell you anything because it'll rip you apart.. not because it's necessarily bad, but because you'll analyze it to hell! Analyzing is not bad... but with the amount of analyzation you've done without taking action... analyzing only tries to predict results, and can be tainted... with acting on it, that's the only way you can actually see if you get the result.

And honestly, I agree with Xavier. That quote you put shows me that he is a really good friend. He doesn't want you to think about it as much, really. And I agree with him... maybe you guys should just go out. Whenever I'm depressed, a night out with just my best friends... man, that helps more than you can ever imagine. A little rest from things may be just what you need.

Best of luck to you,
Prodigal

[Smithx]

Thanks man. You've really inspired me to move forward instead of sitting back. I can't sit back, I only have a week left (including exams) of school left. I need to do something. I really do appreciate you're imput Pro. Thanks

[Fyesteema4]

If you can't talk to her, why don't you just write her another letter, but this time sign it with your name and ask her all these things you've been wanting to know, that why she'll really have to respond. Now I really feel for you, but I am a girl, I just don't think you should have your hopes too high. But you do have to communicate with her! If you can't talk in person...like I said, try another letter?

[Smithx]

I have 2 days left of school. Including tomarrow. We have exams this week and these are the last two days. I have now only 2 class periods with her in them before we part for 3 months. Although I know where she lives, and have her phone number.. I know that if I can't talk to her when she is sitting in the seat next to me (assigned seating), there would be no point in calling, or going up to her front step.

I have actually been writing her another letter. To think of it, I've been writing it to myself for 3 months. I since then have been changing it, revising it, and I think I have gotten the point accross in every dimension possible. With these two days left, If I left out the fact that I am now scard to even look at her for a brief second: I would ask her to sign my yearbook (She's signed it already 2 years running, and someone had asked me why I didn't have any signatures in there, I said that no one wanted to sign it. Katie said "oh I wanna sign it". Then of course that was the last 20 seconds before the day ended and she told me that she would sign it monday (This took place on Friday, 2 weeks ago, and the monday she said she would have signed it would have been last week monday... but she forgot, and I never brought it up since). I feel as if whatever she writes in my yearbook is somewhat a small responce to those letters I gave her in the past.

Also, if I wasn't too shy, I would give this letter to her in person. I have it signed under my name, and its like 5 pages (typed). I shouldn't have typed it but you can't read my handwriting anyways. I think it's a good letter I suppose, it goes under all dimensions. How I feel about her, how I felt about her knowing these things while I hadn't said anything, why I hadn't said anything, why im so quiet around her, how I worry on how she's feeling, how I yearn to just talk about this one day- regardless on how she thinks of me, I will respect whatever she thinks of me and all I really want to do is just talk about it... so i dont have to cry myself asleep everynight.

Xavier (My best friend, and best friend to Katie - Xavier has a girlfriend). Said that she 'needed some time away from the whole guy thing'.. Xavier hesitated to tell me, but then quickly stated it wasn't my doing. I threw it into the letter stating that I do not want to be an obstical in her life. I do not wan't to slow her down, and I understand how she may feel. I've told her that I don't see her on the outside, I see her for what lies inside.

I wake tomarrow, knowing that this will be the second to last time I will see her for three months. I have told myself over and over that all I need to do is ask for the year book to sign.. yet I consider when i heard her talking to herself on how she's sick of writing in all the yearbooks she's had to sign because she writes long goodbye notes in each of the books she signs. So I feel as if I'm just a bother there as well.. I have envisioned myself asking her to sign mine. Meanwhile asking her if I could add to my entry in hers (I already wrote one- it was the worst peice of garbage, I had no time to think), and I would slip the letter in the book and then the bell would ring as we part for three months.. Things don't work out the way you want them too.. I don't know how I can present myself without looking like an idiot.. just thinking about it makes me cry. Even in public, I've cried so many times and tried hiding it.. I would burst into tears just looking at her

[Only-virgins]

The thing about letters is...that stupid girls dont answer them. Meh...might be different in your case.

[Smithx]

I've known her for over 4 years and I've liked her over 3. I think by now I would know wether or not she was like that. I think she hasn't 'replied' because of the fact she doesnt want to hurt my feelings, or she just plainly doesnt care.. I say that because today, was my last day. I had said nothing to her, the letter never left my hands.. The tears were rolling down my face while my inner self was SCREAMING to just talk to her.. the Exam's ended and the class left to end the year.. Nothing was said, no goodbye's, nothing.. nothing in my yearbook.. no one.. I am so alone..

I can only see this invisible line of hope that maybe, my best friend can still help me. I know for a fact that Xavier and Katie will go do something with Xavier's girl friend and katie's friend.. of course I'm never intended to go.. and after today, I... just want to crawl in a hole and stay there all summer.. Her phone number sits here, it's sad that she never gave me it, but did say it was ok that I kept it when i called once to ask if Xavier was at her house..

I'm just droning on, not really asking anything of you guys.. I just have to say thanks, and all of you're suggestions were the right things to do.. but I have failed to do my part.. failed at a lot of things today.. so I guess leave this forum to die and forget about me.. because there is nothing that can be helped anymore...