Should I Listen to my Head, or my Heart?

[Over The Fence]

All three are merged, its a little chaotic now, but it is all together.

In the future, if you want to have threads merged, please post the thread URLs (as you did earlier), then report your own post requesting the merge. That way we can quickly grab them and put them together.

[TexAggie1]

@NSInfinity...

It wasn't that I was hesitant. I've been preparing my house to sell for a while now and didn't want to move all her stuff in while trying to go through the process of showing the house. My plan was to get the house sold, get a townhouse/condo/apartment and have Jenn move in. My house is the LAST string I have to cut with my ex Kristy. Unfortunately, Jenn took it a whole different way and was hurt by it. I let my house distract me from what was more important...I know that now. I get distracted easily and don't think it all the way through when it comes to "emotions".

[smackie9]

How about the mods delete the multiple posts and give people shit for doing it in the first place.

[smackie9]

@NSInfinity...

It wasn't that I was hesitant. I've been preparing my house to sell for a while now and didn't want to move all her stuff in while trying to go through the process of showing the house. My plan was to get the house sold, get a townhouse/condo/apartment and have Jenn move in. My house is the LAST string I have to cut with my ex Kristy. Unfortunately, Jenn took it a whole different way and was hurt by it. I let my house distract me from what was more important...I know that now. I get distracted easily and don't think it all the way through when it comes to "emotions".

IMO Jenn needed to realize when you walk into a person's life after a fairly fresh breakup this is the kind of shit you have to deal with. She needs to know that it isn't all about her, and guess what, life will treat you that way sometimes and needs to suck it up....

[TexAggie1]

@smackie9...
I agree to a point, I did bring some baggage into the relationship. I didn't want any added drama to Jenn and I's relationship and ultimately push her away. That's the justification I told myself in hiding the interations I had with Kristy...to "protect" Jenn from the whole crazy situation. It wasn't right, I handled everything poorly. I should have been honest from the very beginning and give Jenn the opportunity to accept it and work through it with me.

[Over The Fence]

How about the mods delete the multiple posts and give people shit for doing it in the first place.

*cough cough*

[TexAggie1]

I know...I'm a terrible person.

[TexAggie1]

I am pretty good friends with her previous roomate. Jenn talked to her about her and I's relationship quite a bit. She talked to me several times this past week about everything, got my perspective on things.
She talked to Jenn last night, and this is what I got back from her:

"She's not dating anyone. She said she didn't want to revisit it. She said she is done with everything. Same thing she said to you. She can't get over it."

I don't know why she has so much hostility...as if I abused her. This is like a knife in deeper. I still feel like I need to be patient, no contact, and wait out this sudden anger. Am I a fool?

[vashti]

I think Jenn knows you won't be any good for her in the long run, despite whatever love feelings she may have for you, and she is trying to work through the emotional process of letting you go. Based on what you wrote on your first post, I think you should just leave her alone.

[TexAggie1]

Based on what you wrote on your first post, I think you should just leave her alone.

I haven't talked to her since her last contact to me, 2 weeks ago. Have I been tempted? YES...but what would I even say after how undeservingly hostil and cold she was...then backed it up again last night to her ex roomie.

[vashti]

No, dude. You deserved it.

[TexAggie1]

I admit I handled it wrong in lying, but it wasn't for something malicious...it was to protect her and our relationship from my crazy ex, not push her away. Didn't want to bring that drama into our relationship.
Hind sight, I should have let her deal with it along with me.

It was 7 months ago! We've grown as a couple since then...traveling, meeting family, meeting close friends, discussing marriage, kids, etc. I was incredibly good to her. She then ends the whole thing overnight based on what happened more than a half a year ago. A mistake doesn't define a person. What happened during the first 6 months of our relationship with my ex is not how I normally operate. The way she has treated me the last 2 weeks is what I would have expected if I had been abusive to her, physically or mentally.

[smackie9]

Well maybe the honeymoon period of your relationship is over, and she needed an excuse to bail because well it's possible she's talking with an ex or she met someone else....it can be a number of things. Sometimes people will manipulate a situation to make the other look bad to cover their ass.

[searock]

Sometimes people will manipulate a situation to make the other look bad to cover their ass.

I don't think this is the case... I think what happened is that they broke up, she tried to maintain a friendly rapport, he went too far and kept contacting her and trying to manipulate and guilt her into meeting up, she had enough of that stuff so she told him to not contact her again, he showed up at her house... no wonder she's hostile. Just let it go, OP.

[TexAggie1]

@searock...
Ha...you're trying hard to turn me into a real a-hole.

I honored every request she gave me over the month to not contact.
She instigated every conversation with "I miss you, love you" messages.
The only time I ever reached out to her was on her Birthday, and the day before Thanksgiving.
I really have left her alone the entire time, but she continued to reach out to me, then would cut it off again.
Early on in the breakup, I do believe her when she would say "I love you and miss you...but I can't trust you from what happened 7 months ago". Now she is hostile to me, maybe a defense mechanism to make it easier for her.

@smackie9...
She asked to permanently move in to my house a month before, moved to my city for me, initiated discussions about marriage, and kept reaching out to me over the past month although we were broken up. I highly doubt this is over someone else.