Boyfriend vs Family

[HeartIsAching]

You are not right, I take care and love my dogs, they have their own space and never thought of getting my dogs to pound, as the previous 5 were all adopted. He knew that I loved animals and if it were other conditions it would have been a really nice gift.

She's absolutely right. She SAID that she wasn't saying you'd to this... but it does happen to a lot of gift animals.

[vashti]

You know, I never thought about this. I find yelling and arguing all the time is the worst for me.

I'm sorry, but I don't see your mother's behavior to be the problem. She is acting like a parent, she is communicative, and her concerns about your boyfriend trying to have sex with you are valid. The problem is YOUR lack of assertiveness, and your desire to be treated like an adult when you lack the strength to stand up and act like one. So what if your mother yells? No one ever died because their mother yelled. Your lack of assertiveness could be the reason she feels you need to be protected like a child. What if you lacked the courage to tell your boyfriend you didn't want to have sex? That's what I'd be thinking if you were my daughter...

[pcmaster]

I actually think that you are exactly grown up as you should be at 21, noticing the fact that you are still living with your parents. Your mum yelling is more like hidding her insecurity and the way to control you because it worked before. However she understands that letting you be together with your BF will be the way to lose that little inocent, insecure girl who she can control. She loves you too much.

What if you lacked the courage to tell your boyfriend you didn't want to have sex?

Its more like - What if you lacked the courage to tell your BF that you want more sex? The girl is 21 ofcourse she want sex.

However dont blame yourself on everything, instead see yourself as a friend - if you would know better you would do better. And try to understand your mother as a woman, as a friend. It will be much easier if you would understand why she is who she is.

[vashti]

Its more like - What if you lacked the courage to tell your BF that you want more sex? The girl is 21 ofcourse she want sex.

Don't be silly. Her mother isn't worried about her daughter wanting more sex. She is more likely worried her daughter might lack the assertiveness to refuse what she doesn't want, for example, sex while she's ovulating.

Also, you are dreaming if you think all 21 year old girls want sex. Many of them haven't even had GOOD sex yet. What they are more interested in is love.

[pcmaster]

The girl already said that guy went 250km every week for a year to see her. So that means shes an amazing girl and guy wanted much more than just sex from her.

I actually went 0,5km everyday to see the girl I like and I felt proud with the distance I made. So how much should you like someone to go all the way 250km?

[HeartIsAching]

You felt proud over 0.3 miles? Why? Did you crawl it on your belly?

[pcmaster]

I did like go these 0.3 miles because she was the only reason for going this distance. A hot blonde would pick me up from house(like it did happen before all the time) but instead I choosed go a little further for a

girl I really like. Before this special girl knew I will go with her, she cursed me all night because she assumed I would obiouvsly go with a blonde(I knew she wouldnt curse if she wouldnt care). But I just kept quiet and

listened to all the shit until friend asked: "So with who are you gona go?" I lifted up my eyes looked in the girls eyes, smiled and said - "With you." She was shocked. But what happened in next few days was mind

blowing for both of us. I knew there could be a lot of love between us, but had no idea that theres more love than exist in this world.

[HeartIsAching]

Mind blowing... for a quarter mile. Now I've heard it all.

[pcmaster]

When it all was over I went more than 1500 miles away from her and didnt wanted to see her again. But it was still not enought - still had a feeling that shes too close, this planet became too small for both of us.

[vashti]

The girl already said that guy went 250km every week for a year to see her. So that means shes an amazing girl and guy wanted much more than just sex from her.

You just don't seem to comprehend the point I am trying to make. I'm giving up on you. Hopefully, the original poster understands.

[pcmaster]

My point is - if they would have sex it would actually be called making love looking at all the sacrifices they had to make just to be together.

What you think is possible pregrancy etc. because little girl might not be able to speak up and say no if something would be wrong.

[michelle23]

shes 21 years old! Shes not a child and can make her own decisions.

[bearz]

Not only what Michelle said, but she also needs to learn from her mistakes. Sometimes parents need to let their kids experience those mistakes.

Obviously, there are exceptions... like being stupid, having sex, and getting pregnant. As a parent you don't want to just sit back and watch that happening.

[michelle23]

If her mum is worried about her getting pregnant-put her on the pill and buy her a box of condoms. Shes 21, in a relationship and if she wants to sleep with him that is her choice. If I had kids I would talk to them about stds and pregnancy but I would also talk to them about the emotional aspects of sex and Id hope that they would have self respect and not sleep around.

However, if they were in a relationship and happy, I would accept that they can make their own choices and ensure they are being careful. That is all you can do.

[pcmaster]

Looks like conclusion is - parents will always try to control and protect(or control to protect) their kids and they always will stay little kids in parents minds.

But kids just wana live, have fun, have adventures and be like adults when its benefitical to them.