Should your Husband have close Female friends

[Am I crazy?]

"he could accidently develop feelings for someone-it happens all the time" yep, thats where you need to give him trust. If you are giving him everything he needs emotionally and physically ect. then you need not worry. But, it could still happen and thats just the risk you take in life but at the end of the day its also not something that you should attempt to avoid from happening by limiting who you become friends with based on silly insecurities. I could get hit by a beer truck tomorrow while walking down the sidewalk, should I avoid walking on sidewalks? living your life based upon worries about what could happen is stupid.

[michelle23]

im not worried. im giving advice to the OP based on her situation. trust is a fragile thing and if broken, it never comes back. a good relationship is built on trust and respect and if you have respect for your partner and your relationship-you dont do anything that could sabatage the trust they have placed in you which includes not finding a new best pal who you focus all your attention on to the point where you start distancing yourself emotionally from your partner.

i bet you dont spend time with these females every day, week, month, spend hours thinking about them, talking about them, texting them, ringing them. that IS an emotional affair

[Am I crazy?]

Michelle23,

again... your faith in men is skewed by your insecurities. you continually assume that a man can not have a close friendship with a womam without becoming emotionally attached. That is an insecurity. I spend plenty of time with my female friends and do talk often. I love them as friends, not as lovers. when people like you are able to learn the difference and that its possible then you will reach a state of relationship enlightenment. until then you will just be one of those women who claims they give their man complete trust but will leave him the second he believes you and developes a platonic friendship with a woman outside of your group of friends.

"i bet you dont spend time with these females every day, week, month, spend hours thinking about them, talking about them, texting them, ringing them" answer- no more than any other friends of mine man or woman.

[VincenzoG91]

"he could accidently develop feelings for someone-it happens all the time" yep, thats where you need to give him trust. If you are giving him everything he needs emotionally and physically ect. then you need not worry. But, it could still happen and thats just the risk you take in life but at the end of the day its also not something that you should attempt to avoid from happening by limiting who you become friends with based on silly insecurities. I could get hit by a beer truck tomorrow while walking down the sidewalk, should I avoid walking on sidewalks? living your life based upon worries about what could happen is stupid.

Blah, blah, blah, you didn't read the OP's previous thread yet, so your opinion is useless to her.

[Am I crazy?]

Vinny,

You are almost as loony as Michelle. My comments are directly related to both this thread and the other thread. If the OP has suspicions that her man is being a turd based upon his behavior with supporting evidence then he is probably being a turd. If she has no evidence that he is doing anything wrong and he is open about the relationship with no secrets then it may just be an insecurity issue of the OP. Im beginning to get the sense that this web site is being dominated by insecure people with a warped sense of what the foundations of a trusting and commited relationship really are. lets sum this all up, if I am a man and I have a close female friend I either want to have sex with her or am having an "emotional affair"? good god you people have trust issues.

[BuckDamon]

i dont think its a good thing that after marriage male has female friends..

[Prescious]

i dont think its a good thing that after marriage male has female friends..

I agree there should be limitations because sometimes its not the mans fault. Sometimes the women come onto the man and then it is hard for men to resist you know what so there should be limitations like inviting the wife out with them or never being alone with that female. There should be rules.

[michelle23]

Michelle23,

again... your faith in men is skewed by your insecurities. you continually assume that a man can not have a close friendship with a womam without becoming emotionally attached. That is an insecurity. I spend plenty of time with my female friends and do talk often. I love them as friends, not as lovers. when people like you are able to learn the difference and that its possible then you will reach a state of relationship enlightenment. until then you will just be one of those women who claims they give their man complete trust but will leave him the second he believes you and developes a platonic friendship with a woman outside of your group of friends.

"i bet you dont spend time with these females every day, week, month, spend hours thinking about them, talking about them, texting them, ringing them" answer- no more than any other friends of mine man or woman.

Excuse me but my boyfriend would feel the exact same if I had a new best friend. You are ignoring what I am saying and just picking holes in it. I already said its fine to have friends but there is a difference between having a friend that you keep at a distance than having someone you spend more time with than your wife.

You can call me insecure all you want. I honestly do not care what you think.

[Am I crazy?]

Congratulations Michelle! You have either convinced your man to think just like you or have found a man who has the same insecurities. Either way its a win for you. Im sure you are a happy couple discussing the rules of relationmships. Someday (i doubt it) maybe you will pull your head out of the sand, or your ass, and realize how skewed your view of friendships with the opposite sex is. You are about as loony as they come, er excuse me ""insecure b**tches",lol.

I truly feel sorry for your man. I could not imagiune what hell it must be to be with a woman obsessed with her hobby of giving poor advice to others.

[michelle23]

My man is happy, has his own mind and he is not insecure.

Im not gonna take the bait and throw nasty comments back at you and I am done with this conversation. I think you need to ask yourself why you feel the need to put others down so much and make assumptions about complete strangers that you do not even know a thing about.

[Am I crazy?]

Other than "loony", the nasty comments you used were cut and pasted directly from YOUR comments. You realloy should be ashamed of yourself for making a hobby out of the lives of others. You are not qualified to give the advice you try to give based upon your one and only relationship of 5 years with a man just as insecure as you.

[michelle23]

Other than "loony", the nasty comments you used were cut and pasted directly from YOUR comments. You realloy should be ashamed of yourself for making a hobby out of the lives of others. You are not qualified to give the advice you try to give based upon your one and only relationship of 5 years with a man just as insecure as you.

Is anyone on here "qualified" to give advice? Are you a relationship counselor? Why do you care whether I give people advice or not? And it is not my one and only relationship-you dont even know me. This is my third relationship and I dated lots of guys.

What are you doing on here giving people advice for? If I shouldnt be doing it, then noone should. That is what this forum is for so get over yourself.

I do not know what your problem is with me but I have my own opinion on male and female friendships which I am entitled to. It does not make me insecure coz I dont want a load of men pretending to be my friend. Every male friend I ever had asked me out on a date at some point or another so I have good reasons for not wanting men getting too close to me other than my partner

My boyfriend has high self-esteem, hes very confident, loyal, honest. I trust him completely and I believe he would never cheat on me. He also trusts me-it has never been an issue in our relationship but we have discussed emotional affairs recently whilst watching coronation street (a soap) and he was like what the f**k so I explained to him what was going on.

[Starnique]

Michelle, we as women know certain things. We know how other women operate. Alot of times we see things differently just like with a man. Vice versa. U dont got to explain shit to him. Hes not your man and thank goodness he not. If you dont like it, you dont got to like it. I dont like it and any man of mine that has a problem with it or fail to see my point of view, then they can lost. Most men i know personally dont want their girl having lots of guy friends either.

[michelle23]

ya star, I would never tell someone you cant talk to this person or that etc. I just wouldn't bother with someone who was that close to someone else. She should be his gf if they are best mates. They already have every aspect of a relationship apart from sex so they may as well be together. I know most guys would not want their gf having male friends. Not ones they spend time alone with anyway and its the same thing.

There is a difference between being insecure and just plain naive.

And just because you trust someone completely does not mean that trust can never be broken. People do change and you need to be prepared if the shit hits the fan.

[bcgirl]

Firstly, hubby only knows this young Indian on a honeymoon vacation for a week.
Hubby went to the hills with this skinnier and prettier girl for quit some time while wifey was all by herself
Hubby was acting all weird afterwards which made wifey question him. Hubby denies any wrongdoing yet refuses to respect Wifeys wishes of no contact with this girl he just met while on a honeymoon with his wife and instead throws out the divorce word if she dare tell him he can't contact her. If any husband respected his wife on their honeymoon and saw how distraught the wife is (even if its out of insecurities) would not bother with all the fights and hassle an 18 yr old stranger on vacation would bring Because a wife should be more important than some random person they just met this week. The fact that hubby has dragged this on so far even to mention divorce over raises a lot of red flags and shows a lack of respect to the wife. The fact that the wife is putting up with this on her honeymoon shows a lack of security in herself. If this was my man, I would have already been back to America and in contact with an attorney