I just had the " I need space talk" ? ? ? ? ?

[smiling100]

Good for you. It will take time but youll be okay. Have no contact with her and youll heal faster

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Ok question re the rebound

Just found out there is this girl who likes me. Now if I was in a good place I have no doubt i'd like to date her. Though I know if I do date her now my heart won't be in it & it will go pear shaped.

Any advice on what I should say to her so a few months down the track when i'm recovering I could get back to her without burning my bridges?

I'm usually a fairly confident guy though at the moment my confidence is zero



.

[michelle23]

Just say "normally your exactly the kind of girl id want to date but right now im not in a good place. I just got out of a relationship and my heads all over the place so i think its better that i stay away from women for awhile coz it wouldnt be fair to use anyone as a rebound. Im not emotionally available right now which is too bad coz if i was id defo wana take you out. I dont expect you to wait around for me or anything but if you are still available when im in a better place id love to take you out then maybe in a few months time but like i said if you do meet someone in the meantime, i hope youll be happy "

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[smiling100]

Ok cheers

If it's meant to be it will happen.

It freaked me out as she is the type i'd go for normally but my head is all over the place.

Last thing I want to do is play with her head & mine.

At least i've kinda proved to myself that there are other women out there for me though the fact is i'd take my ex back in an instant if she contacted me & i'd be comparing any new women to my ex the whole time.

These next few months are going to be hard

ahhhhhhhhh!

[michelle23]

Well at least youve got your head screwed on enough to know being alone right now is the best thing. Some of these people on here cant be alone for 5 freaking minutes.. it pisses me off. Youll be okay. You know youll bounce back in time and meet someone better

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[smiling100]

Well at least youve got your head screwed on enough to know being alone right now is the best thing. Some of these people on here cant be alone for 5 freaking minutes.. it pisses me off. Youll be okay. You know youll bounce back in time and meet someone better

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Well i'm crossing my fingers that this is the case.

I'm trying to do the right thing so hopefully everything works out for the best

[michelle23]

It will. Stay busy. Btw dont become all pally pally with this new girl coz it will get messy if you do. Just avoid her till your sure your ready and if shes still single ask her out. Theres no point becoming best friends when you both want more. Thats more likely to mess things up in the long run

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[smiling100]

18 days of no contact today.

It's getting ever so slightly easier thing is Xmas is a few weeks away hope I don't go backwards.

Sleeping ok though when I wake up it's like the flood gates open & her memories coming straight back.


Ahhhhh

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Only 18 days in and you're already feeling better. Smoke some weed and go back to sleep. You're doing great.

[smiling100]

Only 18 days in and you're already feeling better. Smoke some weed and go back to sleep. You're doing great.

I wouldn't say anywhere back to my normal self.

Still feel like crap.

Probably going to use this as a journal to pace my progression.

Not looking fwd to xmas/new years

[smiling100]

Day 21 NC

Saw her by chance this morning, I looked the other way & acted like I didn't see her not sure if she saw me.

Talk about a punch in the head!

[michelle23]

Just keep going. It gets easier

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[smiling100]

I hope so.

It hurts I couldn't even look at her face.

So glad I didn't as I would have taken a photo with my brain & not being able to get it out of my head.

I would of caved in if she said hello & smiled.

[michelle23]

You just need to be tough. When i split with my ex (a cheat) i didnt give him an inch-as cold as ice. I wouldnt even acknowledge him if he tried to smile or say hello and a few times he asked if we could talk and i just ignored and walked the other way. A few times in school he would try to get involved in my conversations with others and again id just ignore... f**k him. I know my indifference/coldness hurt him but whatever.. he deserved a lot worse..

You just need to act like she dont exist. You can say hello if you want to coz shes not a cheat so no need to be as mean as i was but dont allow yourself to care.

I was so angry it didnt hurt at all really lol. Just hate for awhile-then nothing

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[smiling100]

Thanks Michelle i'm trying to act like she does not exist. Would be so easy if I could delete her memories from my mind but that's not going to happen.

I think it's easier to get over someone when they treat you badly.

She simply does not want to be with me & that's what i've got to keep telling myself.

[michelle23]

Baby steps. One day at a time

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