But only a partial one? LOL. Have you looked up 'emotional affair' yet?
She probably was avoiding you, if she's smart & has any sense of self-respect--and you wouldn't let it drop so she caved.Early in the shift I felt she was avoiding me despite the phone call and when I got chance I asked if she was.
WTF? This is the kind of thing that guys who are chasing a girl say.This Saturday there is a 'works do' for another member of staff who is 40 years old and I have been invited. I know she is
going and I initially thought to go too though I don't usually go to 'works do's' in this employment. I would have been going
only because she would be there.
Good. And the fact that you *can't* & feel normal is yet another BIG RED FLAG. We've all been telling you this. You just don't want to hear it, Straight.Since learning of this today I have decided that the situation is potentially far too delicate for me to be in the company of her with alcohol taken and I will not be going.
For the record, this isn't called Friendship. Its called Requited Interest Denied. RID for short (my creation, you won't find that on Google, BTW). Get it, tho? The joke? That you should RID yourself of this?I won't risk the newly reformed friendship for a pint or two of beer.
Straight, you're not crazy. Unable to distance yourself from the emotions of your situation, yes. Lacking in discipline? Yes.I think this is the leading edge of love as it happens.
Yes I do do love her, of course I do.
Guide me on how to go forward. Give me options. I'm not likely to leave my wife for someone 23 years younger than I though.
I think I'm F***ING crazy.
What to do? Well, this depends on those dark corners I mentioned. And those questions about who you are & what matters to you.
I think most ppl would say, tho, that you either need to leave your wife & pursue this woman, if that's really what you want. Or shut it down & get a grip. If you're not going to divorce your wife then you need to stay away from this 'friend'. Its completely disrespectful to everyone & everything about your current relationship.
But I'm biased b/c I took the morally high-handed path. I don't want to sound like I'm judging you (I'm not). I actually feel for you & the emotional mire you are currently in. Its hard to see outside of it. So maybe someone else should give their two cents.
If you ever want to know how I *did* manage to set things right, feel free to PM me.