I'm not sure I'd agree with this either.If she touches her hair, she's at least mildly interested.
I know women are different, but I play with my hair when bored. lol
I'm not sure I'd agree with this either.If she touches her hair, she's at least mildly interested.
I know women are different, but I play with my hair when bored. lol
I'd agree. He thinks 'caring' and 'kindness' are weaknesses, but that is so not true.
There is a difference between 'kind and caring' and being a total pushover.
He needs to quit being so eager to please and to try and attract women. That doesn't mean he has to quit the 'kind and caring' behaviour and become an arsehole.
People can be nice, kind and caring and without being a pushover....
I'm kind and caring....but I am certainly no pushover or doormat.
Which means that although I'm kind and caring....I am not eager to please and I'm not bending over backwards to please people and I'm not looking to impress with my niceness....
I tend to reserve the 'bend over backwards' for those I am close too and who are dear to me. Family members, close friends or an exclusive partner....
Last edited by xxazurexx; 20-02-11 at 03:43 AM.
I think it is hard for inexperienced guys to see the distinctions that women make, because the standard male approach is different from the standard male approach.
But there is a line, and you need to be on the correct side of it to get dates. Confident without seeming arrogant, interested without seeming desperate. Yes, edgy is fine. Yes, even egotistical guys get dates...but only if they are good at feigning interest and making a girl feel special. The jerks who get girls are the jerks who understand how to act like they are confident AND the girl is special. The non-jerks who get girls are the guy who understand how to act like they are confident AND the girl is special. If you lack either of those 2 components, you won't get many dates. And you can whine about how other jerks got dates and being nice got you nowhere, blah blah blah, and it won't change anything. Nice or not, if you don't know how to project confidence AND show a girl your interest in her, you will generally be alone. And if you want a real lasting relationship with a real quality woman, then it better be genuine, too.
You don't really know you are dating an A hole until you are knee deep in it....and sometimes your heart keeps you from admitting it and before you know it it's too late.
I stopped reading after your line about shitty techniques. You describe him as some type of pick up artist teaching men how to hit on superficial women.
I would agree with you if you referred to a guy like Paul Janka but I don't know why you have a problem with David DeAngelo
Can you back this all up?
What techniques are you even referring to? All the guy does is giving a solid foundation for things that men do.
I've read useful stuff from you on this forum. But one thing I notice is that you seem to think pretty highly about yourself. As if your opinion is always the lone truth.
Insinuating that superficial women are what's in store for me and you don't even know anything about me.
If you come up with insults like this, I challenge you to back them up.
Because I love to believe what I read, but I see the opposite happening in reality.
Married women with cheating husbands, thinking that they are to blame and not the cheating husband. " It was my fault. I should have been better for him "
Classmates of mine, men with zero respect for girls. Telling me how their girlfriend is a brainless hot f^ck and now we're 3 years later they are happily married.
Pretty women with 90 genuine guys running after them, being desperately in love with an abuser that cheats on all his girlfriends
If I'm not mistaken at one point I subscribed to Mr. Eben Pagan's newsletter years ago. Since I never understood women then (as I do now) I thought it was a good thing
to give them backhanded compliments, or never give a woman "power" by giving them any sort of compliments to begin with. Some things he says I agreed with...but not all if not most of what
he said in the past.
I think highly of myself because I know myself. I don't *try* to be or do or say anything. I just do.
My opinion is NOT the lone and I am the first to admit this: this is what an opinion is! (it isn't conclusive fact) Just my personal fact.
Now, his experience does not pertain to me since I don't go out to clubs/bars to meet women as he does, like most do.
Perhaps he has refined his methods? I was only basing my opinion of Mr. Pagan on the previous crap I subscribed to/read about.
Do you understand the irony of what you say (specifically write) ? Allow me to explain it to you:
I do not need to know you in order to make a well informed observation based on: what you have said about women in this thread.
Now, before we get into this: I have to ask you... Have YOU done ANY research on your own: to back up your claims you have made concerning "women" medically speaking
as to the conclusion(s) you have reached which seem to derive from what you've merely read, not learned yourself?
Exactly...which is what I said above and is the only reason why I've ever been involved with an asshole. I was 'knee deep' and before he showed his asshole side.
No man ever WON me and by presenting himself as an asshole from the outset and no man ever would.
Most women will have found themselves lumbered with an arsehole at one time or another and further down the line in a relationship. That doesn't mean she deliberately went looking for an arsehole to fall in love with and she didn't fall in love with him knowing he was an arsehole. She fell for a jerk, who didn't expose himself as jerk and until further on in the relationship, but who knew how to treat women and make them feel special, in the early days of a relationship, .....which is why she fell for him.
See....I'm getting an impression that MyNameisJesus seems to think that it is 'arsehole' qualities that actually attract women and he has to become and act like an arsehole to attract women. And while some females may be attracted to a guy who is an ass (more so younger females who will take any old crap and because they are usually desperate for a bf)....most women are not and they don't want and are not purposely looking for this kind of guy.
I've seen other guys and more so younger guys in these forums say:
Leave it 3 days to call.
Never show her more interest than she's paying you.
Make her wait for a message/call and make her wait for a few hours for a reply...it raises her interest...LOL!!!!
Never make a date with her...let her be the one to suggest it.
And other such ludicrous statements that would appear to feign NO INTEREST, rather than an interest....and because they think that if they act like jerks, it wins the female.
See, I've grown up now and find all that shit pathetic....^^^^
If you meet someone and you like them...the best way is to just be 'yourself and show your interest.
But some guys like MynameisJesus, tended to think that 'niceness' is what wins a womans affection....and so according to him, become a 'doormat' in the process of trying to win her over and please her.
Because his 'niceness' never paid off, he reads and absorbs how all the successful guys seem to be the guys who have acted like 'arseholes'....and now wants to become an 'arsehole' too, it would seem.
What I am saying is, is that he doesn't have to give his 'nice and caring' nature and become an arsehole to have success with women.
He needs to quit being a 'pushover'...and trying too hard to please women and that is all.
He may then find, that he begins to have success with women and when he isn't so eager to please them.
There is a difference between an 'arsehole' and an 'edgy' guy.I didn't say you would settle for that but that would draw your attention.....
I said I didn't want an 'arsehole'....
If Take2 is correct in her interpretation of the edgy guy being the 'confident, but not arrogant, interested, but not desperate' guy......then I will take 'edgy' over 'nice pushover'....
The 'edgy' guy is what most women are looking for.
An 'arsehole' is not what they are looking for.
What MynameisJesus needs to become, is the guy Take2 described.....NOT an ARSEHOLE.
Last edited by xxazurexx; 20-02-11 at 06:22 AM.
The point of adhering to a "mentor" is to learn from them..and apply their teachings... right? K...Exhibit A:
From your 1st post: You have no farking clue as to what to do, and how to do it...
David teaches you how to approach a group of women (not in a professional environment mind you) but when you're out.
The issue here is: they all aren't friends who go out: so you cannot apply his teachings in this scenario.
You need to be smart. You need to talk to all of them as a group, including everyone. Invite them all
to a sports bar, some night time venue where they all can let loose...If they bring a date: you've just narrowed shit down
without having to ask. You don't ask them out one in front of the other(s) -This is the dumbest thing to do ever.
Why? Do you like rejection? Then ask them out, if you do. No self respecting woman is going to say yes.
If you disagree...Do it.
I know he's covered a variety of topics...so the question is: WHY are you here asking for advice
Mr man has already covered? And 2nd, why are you arguing over what everyone else has said (most of which are females)
when you have zero experience on the matter...I mean you are a virgin, right?
You said it yourself you've been the doormat, a 25yr old virgin...Ask why?
You talk as if you know what you are talking about; but you don't...
Sure thing...
David's Advice stems from not acting confident...but BEING confident: big difference.
I can tell you I know the ratios of success and like anything: it's all a number's game.
Here is what you said:
My idea was that they'd see me as the confident, assertive man if I ask them all out.
I don't see why it has to be a turn off for all of them
I don't think it seems desperate. The guy that runs after girls, begging for them to go out
seems desperate. The guy that says " We should go out. And if you don't, I'll just pick
someone else " is usually succesfull
(1) Your *idea* isn't a very good one for the many aforementioned reasons used against this idea.
A confident, assertive man is also a SMART, confident and assertive man. You will make yourself out to be a fool
approaching 2-3+ strange women you only know from class....If you had any real game with women...This is what you would have done:
-Take notice of where they go after class is over.
-Take note of what they wear/style, jewelry and makeup.
-You would already have created some dialog with them: making small talk, saying funny things
using touching to establish something other than what you've done: nothing.
(2) You *think* it's desperate yet you NEED affirmation of what you "think" is good advice before
you dare apply what you think is not being desperate. Why? A confident assertive man doesn't use an anonymous forum
as some sort of test ground to try out his techniques which up to now are nothing but conjectural theories...
Then you say:
This is about asking women out. Not about asking to have a relationship with them. It's not
a competition and nobody is a runner up if I ask someone else first.
@ good quality girls not appreciating this: Don't know. But I've seen many girls appreciate
careless guys and not give a F about the caring guy that waits for a special girl. Guess
most girls just aren't very high quality then.
Most women say they want the guy that makes them feel special. My reality at this point is
that they want the indifferent guy that makes her feel average. That's why I think asking
many of them out is a good idea. Not saying I'm gonna become a jacka$$. But not the sweet
puppy either
(1) This IS a competition dude! If you ask the first girl, and SHE rejects you...You become the nottie, not the hottie!
-Women want a man that's worth wanting. They don't want a loser who struck out on the first at bat!
(2) You've observed many girls (otherwise known as MOST girls!) appreciate careless guys (the guy with confidence and assertiveness) and not give a F about the carying guy (You) that waits for the special girl (you haven't met yet!)
(3) Most women want a guy that makes them feel special: ALL women who are human who feel, would agree with this...
Your reality: is NOT *THE* reality for many many women out there, not even close.
In order to be that careless guy you perceive him to be: YOU need to be:
-Very attractive (this is what heightens a man's confidence and assertive levels to begin with and is what
(most) women use to gauge a man's worthiness...If you don't have it? You will be looked upon as a creep, a weirdo
and a loser, so treat lightly at your own risk. Especially around women in a professional environment...
Since you attending this class IS not a right: you can be removed from this class you share with them:
due to your inflated but inexperienced Ego...If you don't believe me: cool...
Make your move and report back. Either way this isn't a right or wrong discussion.
If you feel it's right: you needn't the approval nor go ahead sign from others do you?
Be your own man and do what works for you.
The fact is: YOU come in a public forum: your views are going to get a smack here and there.
A confident/assertive man doesn't take offense, nor take shit personal (as you have done)
You can't just decide (one day) to be an Alpha male dude: We're all animals and have instinct.
Last edited by SelflessnHumble; 20-02-11 at 06:14 AM.
God I have a bad head now, staring at the screen and writing all that..must be my longest post....pmsl
I've seen this a few times, it's actually pretty common with guys who have trouble getting anywhere with the opposite sex. Part of the reaason why it happens is probably that humans tend to overrate other people's faults while being blissfully ignorant or exceptionally forgiving about their own mistakes. You see other, more confident men having a lot more succes with women than you and start to resent them out of a mix of jealousy and focusing on their actual flaws while ignoring their good points. You also tend to remember these cases better than guys who are succesful with women but whom you considered fairly decent because it bothered you a lot more. Since you are not willing to accept, that maybe the problem lies with you, you eventually start thinking that "women like assholes". This is also aided by the fact, that as the "nice and caring" guy you probably ended up in the friends zone with a lot of girls whom you were interested in, where you heard first handed, what kind of assholes they were dating at the moment. Never mind the fact, that you always only heard one side of the argument and were only called upon when there had been a fight, after all you already resented those guys out of jealousy while having a crush on the girl, so you never bothered to think, that maybe those guys weren't quite as bad as the girls made them out to be.
I'm not saying that no girl has ever dated an asshole, but I can guarantee you, that most girls don't prefer assholes to normal people.
I am in no way what you would call I ladies man, but I can tell you this because I am in many ways an asshole and I can guarantee you, that this has never helped me to get women. I am also quite shy, don't really know how to smalltalk and was for quite some time really insecure about my appearance - which as you probably know, doesn't really help with the other sex either. However contrary to other guys in similar situation I have always refused to believe, that my lack of succes was based on the fact, that women only liked assholes. Sometimes the problem really ist you.
As all the other have told you, being confident is very important, however there's a big difference between being confident and being a jerk. Also as I have said before, by basically asking out all these women at once, you will not appear confident but mostly desperate, which is actually pretty much the opposite of confident and definetely not attractive.
Last edited by Ume; 20-02-11 at 09:21 AM.