Can Guys and Girls Be JUST Friends?

[Only-virgins]

So you're saying that you could never date a over-weight girl?

I don't know if he is saying that but since you brought it up I would like to just add that I sure as hell could never date an over-weight girl. I am thin though so meh, and I think it is not some thing mean...I can have standards in the physical looks area and that doesn't make anyone a bad person. I for one am grossed out by to much fat and could never have sex with a person like that. Now what fun would that be?

I know that's shallow.

No it's not. There is nothing wrong with having a physical looks preference. Looks may not be the most important thing in a relationship but neither is personality. Everyone deserves to be with someone who makes them happy, that is what matters...I don't get why someone would torture themselves by going out with someone who repulses them simple because they have some bullshit non-important things in common. My mind tells me fat chicks are ugly, I listen to my mind...it is that simple for me.

[Mathias]

I don't know if he is saying that but since you brought it up I would like to just add that I sure as hell could never date an over-weight girl. I am thin though so meh, and I think it is not some thing mean...I can have standards in the physical looks area and that doesn't make anyone a bad person. I for one am grossed out by to much fat and could never have sex with a person like that. Now what fun would that be?



No it's not. There is nothing wrong with having a physical looks preference. Looks may not be the most important thing in a relationship but neither is personality. Everyone deserves to be with someone who makes them happy, that is what matters...I don't get why someone would torture themselves by going out with someone who repulses them simple because they have some bullshit non-important things in common. My mind tells me fat chicks are ugly, I listen to my mind...it is that simple for me.

This is the correct answer.

Unfortunately, you can't change who you're attracted to. Brutal honesty is the best way to go here.

[Gribble]

Nothing shallow about that. Who do fatties have to blame but themselves?

Shallow is turning a girl down because she was born with a hairlip. Not that I wouldn't, mind you, but I never said I wasn't shallow.

[vashti]

I've dated men who were somewhat overweight, but I wouldn't date an unintelligent man. Everyone looks like shit in the end, but stupidity lasts forever.

[CAM]

At this stage of my life I can't see myself dating an overweight girl. I know that's shallow, but it's just the way I'm wired. As I get older and I start dating older women, or my wife starts to slip a bit I'm sure I'll used to the idea of some flabiness. But now, I feel like I'm sort of stocking up on hard bodies so the memories can keep me warm when winter comes around.

Agreed. Although, the whole thought of marriage and the inevitable physical decline. Okay, well won't be eating lunch now....

Seriously, I see little point in any of it anymore...fat, thin or otherwise. But, that's just me.

[IndiReloaded]

May get flamed for this, as its not exactly PC, but the truth is we are programmed to avoid things like hairlips, etc. Symmetrical features = good genes = increased chance our offspring will live to reproduce. At least fatties are known to be mostly environmental, despite what those talk-show whiners would have you think.

Try reading the book The Red Queen if this topic interests you. Its a good read.

[Only-virgins]

I've dated men who were somewhat overweight, but I wouldn't date an unintelligent man. Everyone looks like shit in the end, but stupidity lasts forever.

I wouldn't date an unintelligent girl either, and I wouldn't date a fat one. No one says I can't have two things I want. Don't know why people seem to think that Bad looks = smart, good looks = stupid. Not true at all...in-fact I have seen the opposite.

[vashti]

You must have missed my point. I didn't say you couldn't get both - I said that for ME, stupidity is less appealing than a little extra weight.

[john_a20]

Hi,

I think that the world IS changing, and that men and women CAN just be friends....

... I would say that there are factors included in this "being friends", such as the kind of upbringing and education that the people involved in the 'friendship' have had...

... either way round the Mayan Calendar tells us that 'there is a new world coming' that formally 'kicks off' in 2012... where-upon we can all expect lots of friendship!

... one more thing I would like to add is that many people seem to 'think' that they can only be 'happy' if they meeet someone else and have a relationship... and this I find odd because they are putting their belief into someone else providing this 'happiness' for them... meaning it is a far batteer thing to be happy in YOURSELF, than to mistakenly-believe that someone else is going to make you happy instead!

... so please accept me as your friend!

Have a fantastic day - John

[CAM]

May get flamed for this, as its not exactly PC, but the truth is we are programmed to avoid things like hairlips, etc. Symmetrical features = good genes = increased chance our offspring will live to reproduce. At least fatties are known to be mostly environmental, despite what those talk-show whiners would have you think.

Try reading the book The Red Queen if this topic interests you. Its a good read.

Hmm, interesting book suggestion.

But, it is genetics that drives us towards certain types? In essence, one could extend this line of thought to say that the eugenics movement was actually driven less by ideology and more by our nature as humans?

[IndiReloaded]

Hmm, interesting book suggestion.

But, it is genetics that drives us towards certain types? In essence, one could extend this line of thought to say that the eugenics movement was actually driven less by ideology and more by our nature as humans?

Have you read the book? Its a good one if not.

As to your question, the data was only discussing symmetrical features. The more symmetrical = the more attractive.

Its a touchy thing, what you suggest re: eugenics, and without direct supporting data (there, ass covered, lol) but, sure, I suppose so. But hell if I know where the line is b/t instinctive biologic responses & those driven by our *ideas*. I suppose its somewhere around where our free will starts to impose upon the rights of others. I can choose for *myself* what I think is a healthy mate, but should I be able to dictate that for someone else? Hell no. In fact, I would consider *that* an interference with Darwinian evolution (and we wouldn't be able to have those lovely Darwin Awards).

[CAM]

Have you read the book? Its a good one if not.

As to your question, the data was only discussing symmetrical features. The more symmetrical = the more attractive.

Its a touchy thing, what you suggest re: eugenics, and without direct supporting data (there, ass covered, lol) but, sure, I suppose so. But hell if I know where the line is b/t instinctive biologic responses & those driven by our *ideas*. I suppose its somewhere around where our free will starts to impose upon the rights of others. I can choose for *myself* what I think is a healthy mate, but should I be able to dictate that for someone else? Hell no. In fact, I would consider *that* an interference with Darwinian evolution (and we wouldn't be able to have those lovely Darwin Awards).

Intellectual gaming so much fun. Foreplay for the mind

[IndiReloaded]

Here Cam, when you have time, order this book. Amazing author/book:

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyteen[/url]