Both excited and nervous

[Cerby]

Two options: you give up and call this one quits, or you find a way to contact her and get it done. You can wait for her next shift with you, but you need to get it done, don't find excuses not to, because your lack of confidence will always find a way to avoid scary actions.

Ultimately, you're your own undoing by leaving it hanging, because being left in limbo is much harder than just going for it and letting the chips falls. Once you realize that you only live once and all opportunity has a limited window, you'll find these things to become much easier. I can't even count the amount of times I got shot down while asking someone out, but like everything else, I adapted to realized that it wasn't personal. She (whoever she was at the time) just wasn't attracted to me. Oh well, buckle up and off to the next stop. Your fear is rejection, and rejection is going to happen. You only get a better understanding by realizing what all the outcomes can be. Eventually, someone you do like will reciprocate...but you'll never know if you let your nerves prevent you from even trying.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky

[smackie9]

Go in blind, jump in with both feet , take the risk....you will never see change unless you take risks. You keep making excuses over and over....time to just do it. What does it all mean?....confidence.

[Boisdevie]

What does it all mean?....confidence.

.
Yeah, but he's got none. Jeezus I was married at his age and he can't even ask out a ****ing woman. He needs therapy.

[Indestructible]

.
Yeah, but he's got none. Jeezus I was married at his age and he can't even ask out a ****ing woman. He needs therapy.

Harsh. :/ To be fair, I'm trying harder than I was in years past. Obviously, I still have a ways to go, but I'm much more "open" and "confident" now than I've been in quite some time, possibly ever. Honestly, I don't necessarily know that I fear rejection from her, so much as I do what would happen after the fact; if/ when she does turn me down, I don't want things to get weird between us, and I don't want our friendship to dissolve. I think that "scares" me more than her not wanting to go out with me. And really, even that seems a bit silly to me, because I kinda sorta think she might be willing to go out with me; maybe I'm wrong, or maybe I'm getting my hopes up, but I feel like there's a certain "vibe" there that I haven't felt from a girl before.

Anyway, I realize you guys probably have zero faith in me at this point, but I've set a new goal; I'm retaking my driving test Thursday, and should I pass, that evening, I'm going to drive over to my work and I'm not leaving until I've asked her out.

[Cerby]

This might sound a little blunt, but your friendship isn't worth shit if you have feelings for her. As long as those emotions are in the back of your head you can't actually be friends with someone, so I think you DO fear rejection, but are masking it with a common excuse which is "I don't want to lose the friendship". Toss it to the wind and forget the friendship, how good of friends are you really if the next time you're going to see her is at work in a few weeks?

[IndiReloaded]

Anyway, I realize you guys probably have zero faith in me at this point, but I've set a new goal; I'm retaking my driving test Thursday, and should I pass, that evening, I'm going to drive over to my work and I'm not leaving until I've asked her out.

That's a good goal, just make sure you aren't making asking her out conditional on passing the test and you deliberately flub it.

As for the rest, well, we all fear something (the truly fearless tend to be insane). Just trust us that once you've finally taken the leap, you'll wonder what the big deal was all about.

When the fear starts whispering to you, crush it w/o mercy. You'll be fine, whatever happens.

[Boisdevie]

By the time this guy gets the guts to ask her she'll be a grandmother. I wonder what the next excuse will be for not asking her out? I think it could be anything from a surprise meteor strike on the building where she works or a zombie attack.

[IndiReloaded]

Its always hard to do something for the first time.

This is why I agree with the guys who say young men should ask out lots of women, even those they aren't that into. This way, when a girl comes along who matters, they know what to do.

[Indestructible]

By the time this guy gets the guts to ask her she'll be a grandmother. I wonder what the next excuse will be for not asking her out? I think it could be anything from a surprise meteor strike on the building where she works or a zombie attack.

Oh please, as if the excuses I've made thus far have been so ridiculous and outlandish... The only major excuse I've made is my driving issues, and I think that's a pretty valid problem. Yeah, Saturday, I chickened out. It was a bad day all around. I wish it could've been different, but it wasn't. I'm not even sure what you want me to say at this point. I'm sorry I'm the way I am? I'm sorry I didn't turn out to be a regular normal confident guy? I don't really see how you're helping, here.

[Maple1714]

Oh please, as if the excuses I've made thus far have been so ridiculous and outlandish... The only major excuse I've made is my driving issues, and I think that's a pretty valid problem. Yeah, Saturday, I chickened out. It was a bad day all around. I wish it could've been different, but it wasn't. I'm not even sure what you want me to say at this point. I'm sorry I'm the way I am? I'm sorry I didn't turn out to be a regular normal confident guy? I don't really see how you're helping, here.

Your driving issue is a horrible excuse. Like we suggested you should be meeting her somewhere for the first couple dates anyway...so why do you need a drivers license? You can take a cab or bike? Just ask her! You have nothing to loose and we all create our own reality so just don't act weird if she says no...and then it wont be weird! People make situations weird or awkward not the other way around. Good luck! Do not chicken out.

[Indestructible]

Passed my driving test earlier today, so as promised, I pushed myself to drive on down to work.

Went to work and *almost* chickened out again. Seriously, came THIS close to just leaving. But I managed to put it out there. It... came out a little more awkwardly than I had played it in my head, though.

I asked her if she was doing anything next weekend; she was, so I asked what about next weekend, which she wasn't doing anything. I said we should go out some time, and she said "Like a date?". I just kinda said "Sure". She said she's dated coworkers in the past and it never worked out, but she said "Let me think about it". I just said okay, and made my exit.

So, I guess it wasn't a "No", but it wasn't exactly a yes, either. She didn't particularly seemed shocked or weirded out by me asking her, so... I guess it's nice to have put it out there, but I still don't quite know where I stand now. I'm sort of kicking myself, because maybe I should've given her my number after she said she'll think about it. I don't see her again for a little while, so I don't know how she'll get back to me. And when I do see her again, I don't know if I should wait for her to bring it up, or say something, myself. Or, perhaps "Let me think about it" is just general "girl language" for "no"?

Either way, I guess it's a bit of a relief. Proud of myself for pulling the trigger, even if I wasn't quite as "smooth" as I wish I would've been.

[Maple1714]

Good job. I am proud of you too. You can drive now and you asked her! Next time you see her just ask her if she has thought about your question and if she in interested in a date. It's totally fine to bring it up again. I hope it works out for you. You should try asking some more girls out to get practice! I have asked a few guys out in the past and I know it's hard but it's also exciting don't you think?

[Indestructible]

Yeah, even though I'm anticipating that this will probably end up being a "no", which kinda sucks because I really like her a lot, I feel... good, having asked her out. I suppose I'm weird but I don't really think about asking girls out until I've gotten to know them a little. I liked how I progressed with this girl, because I really liked that I got to know her first. I'm not really the "ask out a stranger" type, yanno? I'd rather be able to skip that icebreaker stuff and just be able to be ourselves.

[IndiReloaded]

If she doesn't get back to you by next week, ask her out again but in a more casual, less 'date' way. Offer to buy her lunch.

[gotexans12]

But hey you try. The outcome could go either way. You got that feeling out of you. I bet that feels great! Hope everything goes well.