Surrender to Fate?

[DoesntMatter]

exqueeze me?

Yes I will squeeze you

[Kiechi]

Once you go black, theres never coming back.

[CAM]

Once you go black, theres never coming back.

A cliche! I've been with an African American woman before. The first time there was a heightened level of excitement because it was a new experience. You cannot judge a person or sexual experience based on your partner's race/ethnicity.

You make love to a person's mind and spirit, which lacks race or ethnicity and that's what makes it truly beautiful...if you are doing it for other reasons, then you are a bigot.

Now, to look across the room at your exotic beautiful girl while at a cocktail party and she's so stunning that she is attracting the interest of all in the room...well, that's the best feeling in the world! To be with someone you admire deeply and someone that other's admire deeply, too. Admire...it is different than sexual attraction.

[IndiReloaded]

I'll give it a shot

But here's another question. The African Caribbean woman...she's made it pretty clear that she wants to jump my bones...soon. She's even told me that Saturday would be perfect to call her for a get together. But, I've (historically) always been the type to wait til the second or third date. If all the signals are "go," should I just for it if the moment is right?

I ask not because I'm inexperienced. Just that I cleaned up my act six years ago and went abstinent. Now, I see this opportunity and wonder if with this possibility, am I just going to return to being a total dog. I could see it happening. Your thoughts?

You sound as if you were a he-whore once & are afraid of going there again? What did you lose in this process? I can't understand your fear on this.

Six years is a long time, Cam. And you are both mature adults, yes? I would say, if she's into 'no strings' and/or understands the deal, then mbe go for it if you are feeling the chemistry works. It might relieve some tension that way & make you more open/relaxed to other possibilities. Keeping in mind that you may be getting a 'she-whore' in return so protect yourself accordingly. Or mbe not, you just never know.

You must know your own mind/motives on this by now. Trust your instincts; its not like you are new to dating, right?

Also keep in mind that some ppl may seem more flirty/sexual online than they will act in person. Its safer behind the barrier of your laptop screen. So I wouldn't meet w/any set expectations in place except to enjoy meeting someone new & interesting.

[IndiReloaded]

You make love to a person's mind and spirit, which lacks race or ethnicity and that's what makes it truly beautiful...if you are doing it for other reasons, then you are a bigot.

You're such a romantic Cam. Let it shine, man.

[DoesntMatter]

A cliche! I've been with an African American woman before. The first time there was a heightened level of excitement because it was a new experience. You cannot judge a person or sexual experience based on your partner's race/ethnicity.

You make love to a person's mind and spirit, which lacks race or ethnicity and that's what makes it truly beautiful...if you are doing it for other reasons, then you are a bigot.

Now, to look across the room at your exotic beautiful girl while at a cocktail party and she's so stunning that she is attracting the interest of all in the room...well, that's the best feeling in the world! To be with someone you admire deeply and someone that other's admire deeply, too. Admire...it is different than sexual attraction.

LOL man you give humanity far more credit than it deserves

[TheSphinx]

LOL man you give humanity far more credit than it deserves

...and provide a viewpoint from which only a tiny portion humanity will ever actually see.

I just hope, CAM, that you're seeing things this way because it truly satisfies you in life, and not because the world has told you it is "correct" to view them in such a manner.

~Sphinx

[CAM]

...and provide a viewpoint from which only a tiny portion humanity will ever actually see.

I just hope, CAM, that you're seeing things this way because it truly satisfies you in life, and not because the world has told you it is "correct" to view them in such a manner.

~Sphinx

Everything I said, I meant...from the heart.

I do what is right, what is correct. I believe my success in life is almost solely a function of following the path of goodness rather than deceit.

While it is flattering that this woman has a big crush on me, I have too much self-control to act in any manner than what I'd stated above. I am a true romantic and I want love more than anything else.

If you knew me, you would know that I have beaten all odds. I shouldn't actually even be alive, but through a balanced life and a strong belief system and the support of friends and family, I made it. i lived and I was able to regain my life.

In my heart, I know that I would be punished if I strayed far from the path of goodness and I would be a hypocrite if I were duplicitous in anything I said earlier.

[CAM]

You sound as if you were a he-whore once & are afraid of going there again? What did you lose in this process? I can't understand your fear on this.

You can lose your soul (metaphorically, speaking) in mindless sex. I was a bit of a dog for awhile and found that I wasn't enjoying any of it. I fell in love once and realized how different things could be.

[IndiReloaded]

Everything I said, I meant...from the heart.

I do what is right, what is correct. I believe my success in life is almost solely a function of following the path of goodness rather than deceit.

While it is flattering that this woman has a big crush on me, I have too much self-control to act in any manner than what I'd stated above. I am a true romantic and I want love more than anything else.

If you knew me, you would know that I have beaten all odds. I shouldn't actually even be alive, but through a balanced life and a strong belief system and the support of friends and family, I made it. i lived and I was able to regain my life.

In my heart, I know that I would be punished if I strayed far from the path of goodness and I would be a hypocrite if I were duplicitous in anything I said earlier.

Your standards, Cam dear are your blessing & your bane. I completely understand your reasons to hold to them, but you have to do so wisely in a way that avoids bitterness.

Don't close yourself off from new friendships or relationships. You have this trait (hell, you tried to scare *me* off when we first met, remember? Its only b/c I saw thru you it didn't work). This lady you mention may not become a sexual partner for you, but you do not know who she will lead you to. Check your tendency to be 'all or nothing' as regards women (or any relationship). Be more flexible in this regard, keep all doors open & no burning bridges. The more connections you make, the more chance you have of finding love again.

Set a goal? Talk to 3 new ppl a day? It doesn't have to be soul-baring conversation.