Is confidence REALLY that "sexy"...

[Love'sReject]

I'm kind of embarrassed to see someone about that: Dad is Mexican, and Mexico doesn't believe in mental problems, emotions or seeing psychologists.

Yeah, it is pretty bad to center one's world around one thing and it could end like you said. But I just had one awesome relationship, I'd be happy the rest of my life without another.

[vashti]

But I just had one awesome relationship, I'd be happy the rest of my life without another.

No, you wouldn't. People generally fare better when they care for someone else, because love adds meaning to life. So you love, you get your heart broken, and you try to love again. It's part of the human condition.

[Love'sReject]

Not me. Just one real awesome a relationship is all I really want and if it ended, well, I'd take solace in the fact I actually got to HAVE ONE.

[Wakeup]

You really can't talk about what you'd settle with and how you'd be fine and take solace in until you've actually experienced what you're talking about. Then and only then can you say what you're saying as a past tense. I came, I did, I... (remains up in the air at this point)

[Love'sReject]

I'm extremely certain that I wouldn't get greedy and ask for more. The only relationship I've been in was a joke so I'd like to experience the real thing just once. And then I'd quit with the moping.

[Wakeup]

You expect us to believe that after all these threads you've started and your perceived miserable plight in life? You don't even believe it but you are trying to convince yourself ~ without much success I might add. If you truly believed that (which you state the above post) you wouldn't continue on in your self-abasement, or in your blame of women and how shallow they are in their own choices by choosing men who are (in your view) trash. You have an excuse for every reason in the world why you shouldn't just be social in real life.

You have a good sense of humour. I suggest you learn to use it in actual social situations and when you see how it affects the masses, your confidence will improve and then you'll see for yourself that, yes, confidence is indeed sexy.

[Love'sReject]

I just don't know how to magically summon up confidence: it isn't causa sui, I can't just create it out of nothing. Something has to happen before I can be confident.

[Wakeup]

Get out there and mingle. You've been told this countless times. Here: Use this site: www.meetmarketadventures.com and start doing things that will put you in the company of single women AND men (friends are good to have).

[dem862]

I'm kind of embarrassed to see someone about that: Dad is Mexican, and Mexico doesn't believe in mental problems, emotions or seeing psychologists.

Yeah, it is pretty bad to center one's world around one thing and it could end like you said. But I just had one awesome relationship, I'd be happy the rest of my life without another.

Well, get over your embarrassment. You need more help than you can get on a forum. There is no shame in having a problem, only in not doing something about it. You admit you have a problem. You say you are open to advice. Well, advice is useless if you don't do something with it. Just drop by the campus clinic and ask to talk to somebody. There's no harm in talking to someone, right?

As for the awesome relationship thing, that is just what other people have. Relationships are hard work. They are full of doubts. They are full of disappointment. They often end for little or no reason. It's a lot like getting a job. Everyone wants the dream job, but few people actually get it. Eventually you find one you are comfortable with and you stick with it. There are no guarantees in life. But if you don't try, your chances are very small that you will get anywhere. You are not ready for a relationship. You are in poor health, mental health. You gotta fix that first, and it isn't hard to do, but you need to get some help. Of course, you don't think you are attractive. Would you be attracted to someone like yourself? If not, get to work and fix what ails you.

[Cerby]

This thread reminds me of this commercial.

[fearoflove]

Confidence is both important and sexy. Not talking about arrogance though because that is a turnoff. Confidence is very important for a relationship to function. I mean, I really despise a guy who is always down and always making silly excuses for not doing things. Don't want a project boyfriend. I want a go-getter.

[vashti]

Get out there and mingle. You've been told this countless times. Here: Use this site: www.meetmarketadventures.com and start doing things that will put you in the company of single women AND men (friends are good to have).

I think where HE lives, meetup.com would be a better resource. That's where I found my target-shooting trip.

[Love'sReject]

Way ahead of you, Vash: I check meetup.com about twice a week. Nothing matches my interest, sadly..

[Love'sReject]

This thread reminds me of this commercial.

That was so cool, funny and relevant! Bruce Campbell wasn't looking so good in that commercial, though. The hell happened to him?

[vashti]

Way ahead of you, Vash: I check meetup.com about twice a week. Nothing matches my interest, sadly..

I know.... I wish I were a big hiker. There are about a million hiking groups. I like casual hiking, but I'm scared they will leave me in the dust.

I have a friend who is big on cycling. If you check with your local bike shops, I am sure you can find a group of cyclists.