Unbelieveable

[vashti]

Boy, he sounds like a bastard. You should go celebrate the beginning of your new life. Also, change you phone number. You don't need to be hearing from him whenever it suits him. And if you still have anything left of his, DO throw it out.

[Gigabitch]

Jesus! This guy is just a piece of work, isn't he?

Every single day of your life is going to be better with him out of it. Think of the new woman he's got as "Poor dumb thing" and move forward- you don't have to stay this miserable.

[Soulfire]

Thanks everyone....you guys are so right. And yes, that new girl is just another victim to him. He has already lost his cell phone acct. due to none payment...owed like $1500 on it.....he'll be hitting her up to getting on her plan....I know, he did it to me. But you know, I know and have known all of this and I still love him and still miss him. When he called I acted strong and like he didn't matter to me, but he does....that's the truth....but yes, every day of my life without him will be better.

Yesterday he called again wanting his stuff (from 4 yrs. ago) can you believe it? Most of it is gone and what is not gone where gifts to me from him or his boys. He said he would show up with the police if he had to. I told him to bring it on. He never showed........I didn't think he would b/c he has no spine. That freaking coward. I'm maybe hurting and do love him, but I'm not stupid ....(ok, maybe sometimes I act stupid, but hey......)........

[Gigabitch]

Get some help. I'm serious. It doesn't have to be like this.

[Soulfire]

Ok, so last night I was minding my own business and I was home alone...made myself a drink and sat down to relax....fixed myself another and then another, etc. and by the time I knew it, I was drunk....I was home alone, so I went to bed and I heard my cell phone ring and guess who it was? It wasn't him. It was her. The bad part is that I don't recall what she said or what I said and then there were hang ups and call backs and this went on for some time, but I don't recall anything that I said or that she said to me. I do remember that she called and she was talking to him to where I could here (on purpose this was done of course) and she started by saying, "Ronnie, I forgive you for all the bad decisions you have made, etc."....WTF? I must have told her how much of a loser he has always been and she was letting me know that it didnt' matter to her and that she forgave him for being a loser....I don't know...have no idea. I do recall laughing out loud and hanging up the phone and I do recall calling him and her phones and telling both of them never to contact me again. I just don't recall the conversations in detail, etc.....just little bits and pieces. I have no idea why she even called. I wish she would break his heart and he come begging, but I know that's not going to happen. I feel miserable.

[Zach]

Don't drink so much right now, you need to recover through this with as healthy of a mind as possible. Just stay focused on you and force yourself to stop thinking about him when you find yourself thinking.

Give it time and some major effort and you will be fine. Just keep swimming.

[Gigabitch]

Give yourself a chance, would you? Just because she calls doesn't mean you're obligated to answer. Take the first step towards treating yourself like a decent human being- don't wait for him to do it. He never will

You have to cut them off. Block their calls.

[Soulfire]

Yes, I understand about cutting off contact completely. About the calls, I they call my cell and I cannot block numbers from there and they call as unknown. I usually answer all calls (unless of course, they are not calling as an unknown caller and his/her actual number appears), but if they are unknown calls, I answer in the event that it is one of my kids, etc. You just never know sometimes.

Ok, Ok...I realize and understand that this is a STUPID thing I'm going to ask here, but I cannot help myself. Here is goes, do you guys think that he has really changed for her as he claims he has? Do you guys think that with his track record that this new relationship of his is going to be a lasting one? I'm just curious. I'm also curious as to what she looks like....so bad....I can't help wanting to know what she looks like. I already know she's much younger than me and that alone hurts...... I know this is stupid.....I know. Just wondering what you guys think and I know I'll get bashed, but sometimes that even helps.

[misombra]

okay here's my moment of bashing: do you smoke crack?

anyway, no he hasn't changed. he's still the same ol' asshole he's always been. change your phone number and quit answering every call. if it's your ADULT kids, they can leave a message and you can call them back right? i think you like hearing from him. get a grip. you're acting like a little girl.

[Gigabitch]

Ok, Ok...I realize and understand that this is a STUPID thing I'm going to ask here, but I cannot help myself. Here is goes, do you guys think that he has really changed for her as he claims he has? Do you guys think that with his track record that this new relationship of his is going to be a lasting one?

He hasn't changed because he has no reason to change. He gets away with being a subhuman every day of his life. Soon enough, that Poor Dumb Thing will have that incredibly rude awakening she's got coming to her and he'll be off with some new fool, or maybe trying to get back with you so he can suck a little more life out of you. By that time, you need to be well away from the headspace you're in now.

I think you don't believe or understand that you can actually be happy. Do whatever you need to do to get out of this rut- move somewhere, find the Lord, discover macrame, whatever it takes.

Oh, and do not answer calls from unidentified numbers. Ever. Tell your kids to leave you a message and call back in three minutes if it's an emergency.

And quit drinking. In fact, you may find the support you're looking for in AA. Look into it.

[Soulfire]

Well, I'm not on crack. I just happen to be really stupid because I'm still in love with someone I know is a total loser and totally wrong for me. He has someone younger and better now and that drives me insane. I try not to think of it, but I cannot help it. There has been no contact since I last posted, but Misombra, maybe you are right....I think I do like hearing from me. I want to know that he hasn't forgotten me even if it's in a bad way. What a way to punish myself, right? I'm a good person. I am independent, own my own home (paid for in full), have a good career, I'm otherwise healthy with the exception of this love thing, I have good friends and family that love me. So why is this not enough for me to move on? Why do I still love and want this man in my life? Is it maybe b/c he doesn't want me? Is it maybe b/c the new woman is younger and prettier (I haven't seen her, but I want to see her). Is it maybe because he fell in love with her almost immediately and it took him so long to finally realize that he loved me years ago only to throw it all away now? I just want answers.

It is normal for me to want bad things for his relationship with her? It's not her fault, yet I want her to be miserable with him.

[Soulfire]

Good morning. It's approx. 8:30 a.m. here in Texas. I haven't been getting much sleep. The crying is starting to be less and less, but I still think of him all day long and wonder about his new girl. I want to know what she looks like and I think I know of a way to do that. That wouldn't be a smart idea though, right? Someone please stop me!

[Gigabitch]

What purpose could it possibly serve? Do you think you'll be able to just let it all go if you see what she looks like?

No! No, no, no. Move away from the bad people, not toward them.

[Tiay]

.. don't do it!! I haven't really followed this thread, but from what I've read so far, why could you even consider doing that? I know you can't just flip a switch in your head and stop caring about him, stop wondering about the new girl, etc. You just have to stop acting on those impulses, go completely no contact. Like giving up smoking- easier if you just go cold turkey. Sure, a few weeks of horrible withdrawal- but if keep having just one more cigarette now and then- then the horrible withdrawal is going to last months and months because you're still maintaining a bit of nicotine in your bloodstream. Do you see what I mean with this metaphor? (I don't smoke, btw)

[Soulfire]

I'm going to try really hard not to do it...... If she's pretty, it's going to make me crazier....I just know it. Anyway, when he and I were together, he was so good at fooling people (including me) into thinking he was this great guy and my mom loved him and he acted as if my family met alot to him, etc. Well, he has known about my mother's illness prior to him meeting this new girl and falling in love with her immediately, but never has he even asked about my mom.......I'm just venting....all that stuff hurts....all that stuff that wasn't even true...... It makes me sad, but it also makes me MAD!