Fear of commitment

[GLYC]

That's what I think too... If he wanted to be with me so much, then why isn't he contacting me?? I'm worth it. I'm a good, honest, caring, understanding person and yes, I want more than just hanging out. I made that perfectly clear to him from day 1. And he said he wasn't out for anything just physical or temporary either. No, I have not heard a peep from him. And yes, I'm hurting. I did good for a few days then back to where I was crying all the time and I can't get him out of my head. Then I did good again this weekend for a few days but I've been a little emotional today but not as bad. He doesn't leave my mind no matter how hard I try.

I realize it's painful. I wish there was a way we could just shortcut all of the hurt and turnoff our emotions. Unfortunately that doesn't exist.
It's hard because you had 8 weeks, which is enough to get really invested in the guy. You cared about him, and it seemed like he cared a lot about you.
You're seeing the signs that this is something good to come, and then all of a sudden, it just falls apart. It sucks to say the least, every person in here has likely been there.

[Hooo!]

My approach is that I suggest you talk to each other and find common ground

And then if you both notice how much you like each other you can state your anxieties and promise tone careful and go from there?

Instead of telling or judging how the other one feels just state what you feel yourself and how you want things to ideally be
If both of you find ideal scenarios you would agree to you can work on getting them.


Or less abstract:
" I wanted to say sorry because I made a big mistake.
I realized how much I like you and how much that gave you and both of us the ability to hurt each other.
I tried to stay away from that. Also because I thought that this was what you wanted.
But I don't want to stay away from you.
I want to be and stay with you. I want to spend more time with you and to get to know you better.
Please just be careful and try to keep me from being hurt. "

[Helpmesavethis]

My approach is that I suggest you talk to each other and find common ground

And then if you both notice how much you like each other you can state your anxieties and promise tone careful and go from there?

Instead of telling or judging how the other one feels just state what you feel yourself and how you want things to ideally be
If both of you find ideal scenarios you would agree to you can work on getting them.


Or less abstract:
" I wanted to say sorry because I made a big mistake.
I realized how much I like you and how much that gave you and both of us the ability to hurt each other.
I tried to stay away from that. Also because I thought that this was what you wanted.
But I don't want to stay away from you.
I want to be and stay with you. I want to spend more time with you and to get to know you better.
Please just be careful and try to keep me from being hurt. "

Well.... I did reach out to him a week ago today after over 2 weeks of NC... I explained that if the problem was really just his fears then I wanted to work thru then together. If it wasn't then I didn't know what but I couldn't just let go of something that could be.... I told him I cared about him and that was it... And.... He has chosen to ignore me... I thought I would be upset with myself for messaging him and feel stupid but I don't. I thought he knew where I stood and wanted to work things out and now I KNOW he knows and see where I stand in his life which isn't where I thought it was... It's ok though. I'm doing much better. It's been a little over 3 weeks now and as much as I would like things to work out, I have accepted that they aren't going to.