What did you get for Valentines day?

[Tedel]

I got two e-cards and a sms.

[DoesntMatter]

Jeeze, DM. You ARE getting desperate, aren't you?

No, I'm just busting his balls

[Only-virgins]

You know, OV, I hear what you are saying. But from where I'm sitting (a relatively older person, like your parents) I would just say you are largely caught in a feedback loop of inexperience-fear-unable to act. Get me? I'm not disrespecting your feelings, they are what they are, but until you've dated say 10, 20 girls and you STILL feel that way its hard to put your feelings down to much more than inexperience & perhaps a touch of obsession. Scientists are well known for their obsessive-compulsive personalities, BTW, so this is entirely expected. You just need to learn when to control it & when to use it to your advantage.

Avoid the things that restimulate those feelings, they aren't helping you right now. Do things that give you confidence interacting w/other ppl & that make you feel good. Try some of the mental 'halt' methods on that link I posted. Try some of Scorps suggestions, mbe you should start a general thread asking if there are any guys that had the 'shyness' problem & how they got over it. Collect a whole damn shopping list of things to try in this regard & keep doing what works. While I agree that you need to change your thinking, I also know from my own work w/ppl that waiting to be motivated is a trap. Sometime, you just have to DO something, anything & start seeing some results. THEN, once you see things are happening, that's when the motivation to continue will kick in.

Go get em hon, the genes making that mind of yours are a waste not to get passed on. Grrr.

I don't know what to say to this. It is to solid and right. It is probably 100% true and it probably is what a person should do....but I am sure you just as much I know that I won't do any of that. I have heard this before. I can't rationalize caring for someone when I feel like I know that I love someone else. Feed back loop I know, since I can't get her, but I can't avoid it. I get depressed a lot just missing her and I have never even spoke to her. Sure there is that part of me that says "Hey, don't be silly ...she is gone now so move on" but my feelings conflict and the stronger one that says "whats the point? it won't feel right and as good as it should, she was better" which win. I have been on a few dates before, maybe not to formal or anything. My body fights constantly to force me to get affection...I get that nauseating feeling in my gut to socialize and love someone. I just don't see it and can't visualize it. Though, I am around women indi....please don't make me sound like an outcast.

Look at me saying all this crap, they gonna laugh at me.

No, I'm just busting his balls

She wore a hoodie a lot.