Okay...question (although I think I have my answer already)

[misombra]

Revenge...right, sure. Right, I "win" by investing two months trying to get to know a person (who won't tell me her last name), listening at great length to her story, only to cut out on her at 2 am, after a five hour phone conversation...ha, ha, ha...I win...

...uh, if you think that's the case, then....

Mis, your basic premise is so jaded...namely, that it CATEGORICALLY MUST be a "Cameron Flaw."

On a positive side, I never have to wonder what the girls are saying in the lavatory during recess...I just have to post a new thread and I'll get to hear all about it.

nobody has to say anything. it's written in big letters on the wall:

cam is an ass. stay away.

[CAM]

Mis,

Thanks for admitting that you think that it is all my problem.

Sincerely,

Cameron

[IndiReloaded]

Actually, you'd be surprised to know that I trusted her. Early on in our conversations...two months ago...I told her my full name and where I worked and my profession, etc. Over the two months of phone conversations, text msgs, and emails...she never told me her last name.

After about a month, I used reverse dial-up to find out the last name because I did not want to invest too much in someone who wasn't forthcoming.

She was legit., but SHE is the one with trust issues.

Surprised that your theory doesn't work?

It was a hypothesis. Not a theory, I don't have enough data for that.

Anyway, not surprised, just disappointed. For your sake, Cam.

Not every stone is a Rosetta, agreed. Some need to be tossed asap & perhaps this was the case. But some do require work to uncover & I was hoping this might be the case. Again, for your sake. I don't 'know' the other gal but I have taken a liking to you, or at least your online persona that you have thus far chosen to reveal.

Sorry if I offended.

[vashti]

The old me agrees with CAM.

If he didn't have such a rich history of dismissing women over trivial things, I would agree with him NOW. There is nothing wrong with having some deal breakers, but really: dismissing a woman because she partied in high school? Please. That is absurdly silly, especially when he starts off by describing her this way:

"really nice woman, just past 30 y/o. Finishing doctorate. Very outspoken in a nice way. Comes from a successful professional family. Close to her folks and other relatives. We've spoken by phone several times, each time the conversation lasts for hours and hours."

[lesa]

Right, I "win" by investing two months trying to get to know a person (who won't tell me her last name)...

I would not regret my decision to end a potential relationship with this one. It seems strange for her to not tell you her last name...especially after all that time talking. I think she may have many more dealbreakers of the relationship material kind.

[IndiReloaded]

A little 'hahayana':

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.

"I froze to death," says the second.

"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"

"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"

"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died."

The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.

"What do you mean?" asks the first man.

"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."

[misombra]

something is wrong with your mind.

i cannot see her problems because she is not here. i only see yours. therefore i can only talk about yours. in case you couldn't read between the lines, which you obviously couldn't, weren't you just telling me the other day about how a woman broke up with you because she couldn't handle the things you did in your past? now you're doing the same thing to her. it's not meant to be advice, it's meant to be an observation.

[IndiReloaded]

something is wrong with your mind.

He has 'A Beautiful Mind'. Out there on the curve, is all.

i cannot see her problems because she is not here. i only see yours. therefore i can only talk about yours. in case you couldn't read between the lines, which you obviously couldn't, weren't you just telling me the other day about how a woman broke up with you because she couldn't handle the things you did in your past? now you're doing the same thing to her. it's not meant to be advice, it's meant to be an observation.

+1

Pretty much everyone here wants to help, Cam. You're lashing out at those who are taking the time to help b/c they care to. Even if the answers aren't 'right', at least we're trying.

Its the internet, but there are ppl at the other end of these electrons. And your phone, I should add.

Did you consider, perhaps, that the lady you were speaking to was somehow burned in the past? So she was a bit wary of making herself completely known to you? Trust is more than stating your name, you know. Some ppls 'trust issues' are simply kept in a non-standard location.

Or maybe she was a tramp & still is. Or maybe she's the nicest person you could hope to meet, or maybe her sister is, or her friend. But now you'll never know all b/c you chose to slam that door just as it was opening.

I mentioned this before, but recall back to how OUR interactions went the first time we 'met' online? You very nearly scared ME off, & you made all kinds of assumptions about my motives & personality that turned out to be false.

Ever had someone criticize a paper or a talk of yours, & think to yourself "well, its EASY to be critical, but show me what YOU are actually doing to make progress happen". You know the sort I mean, don't be that person, Cam.

Okay I have to get back to work. Have a good one, everyone.

[CAM]

Well, I emailed her and said that I may have asked delicate questions and if I offended, I apologize. I said that I wouldn't want to miss out on the opportunity to meet a nice person such as herself.

I guess I don't lose in this case...even if she ain't the one.

Opinions are helpful, even those who try to jump start me through using rectal references.

Mis...you sound like my mother for cryin out loud....

[Gigabitch]

It's "Love Forum"... not "Blood Sport with Cameron and the Viper(ess)."

Wrong! Bring on the blood sport!

But seriously, I think that for YOU, trying to get past her past is a pointless endeavor. Yes, it would be good for your personal growth and you'd very likely find yourself with a real gem of a girl who has been tried and tested in the past, making it even more compelling that she's actually chosen a straight and narrow life for herself in her wisdom, but does that sound like something you would do?

Hell, no. That's not CAMly at all.

So just get on with your life, stay friendly with her, and find yourself someone whose life experiences don't challenge you this way. You won't be satisfied, otherwise.

[misombra]

Opinions are helpful, even those who try to jump start me through using rectal references.

Mis...you sound like my mother for cryin out loud....

you're welcome and apology accepted.

[CAM]

.... but I have taken a liking to you, or at least your online persona that you have thus far chosen to reveal.

Sorry if I offended.

No offense taken. Thanks for taking a liking to me, despite my extremely hard-edged personality I'm difficult to live with...I should know, because I live with "me" (and he's a pain in the ass).

Anyway, all comments from an earlier thread might be correct...that if she's attracted to me, she's probably a little screwy in the head already

She texted yesterday to share some happy news. So, obviously there is no problem from her end of things...just Cam having his own private electronic hissy fit on LF.

If I get laid, I'll let you know You might see a re-born Cameron after that...I think the long abstinence has caused emotional rot.

Oh, if I did do one thing in my youth that might be viewed (by a few people) as being a possible deal breaker...it was being a male whore for about five years of college. It was fun, but would certainly make an episode of "Moment of Truth" quite...shall we say, "Interesting"...

[CAM]

I like you, too You are a kindred spirit, I can tell.

[Gigabitch]

Yeah, but was she ever a whore?

Wouldn't that be ironic, CAM, if your sexual history actually offended someone to the point where she rejected you? I hope that doesn't happen to you. You deserve a break.

[CAM]

Yeah, but was she ever a whore?

Wouldn't that be ironic, CAM, if your sexual history actually offended someone to the point where she rejected you? I hope that doesn't happen to you. You deserve a break.

That was one of the reasons a woman I once loved rejected me. She thought I was too promiscuous in my younger days.

So, I've been "punished" once already for my past--was rejected by someone I loved. It would be bittersweet to get punished again.

Thanks for the good wishes