What are the Signs...

[Lahrell]

He was afraid of being honest with me cause he was terrified of losing me as a friend. He can tell me anything and I will never ever judge him. Whereas he can't even be himself with the female he likes. THAT is what made me thinking if I'm really just that friend. Just that, I found 6 months to be too long already, I wouldn't want anyone to go through the same. It hurts, and it hurts alot. Cause I also miss my best friend, as I really considered him like that, as well. Even regardless of what he did to me.
He never saw that us chatting alot actually meant something to me that it was more then friends.

"It's a shame we only met once", but really, if he liked you alot, he would have visited again. Perhaps he likes the idea of it being online alot more then it being offline, if you know what I mean.

Don't think too much, trust your gut feeling, there's a reason why you think he's involved. I had that too, twice, and both times I sadly was right in a way.

Please, that timespan you put, please please please don't extend it, for the sake of yourself, you'll only end up being hurt.

[lesa]

He's not relationship material xjadedx. He's just one of those people that like to play online. He can't handle real life dating.

It's just one of those lessons in life that we painfully learn through experience. You now have that experience and won't repeat it. You are a wonderful person who deserves better. Don't ever think that you deserve what he is doing despite what he says.

Asking you to wait is bs. Can you predict a happy marriage (or long term relationship) with him? If not, you are wasting your time. If he really wanted to be with a woman watch how fast he would come up with the money to visit her and he would not tell you to not visit him.

[xjadedx]

He was afraid of being honest with me cause he was terrified of losing me as a friend. He can tell me anything and I will never ever judge him.

I've been thinking the same. Is it the 'friendship' he isn't wanting to lose. He will say he absolutely loves chatting to me, has said we get along brilliantly. Says he doesn't get along with anyone, as well as he does with me. I tell him everything and he tells me everything also. He isn't afraid to share his feelings about things that concern or worry him...he trusts me 100% he says.

But I've also been thinking. Could he be merely stringing me along and because he is afraid to be honest about the fact, that he doesn't want a relationship with me? He may be afraid that if he comes clean, he will hurt me greatly...and hurting me, is likely the last thing he will want to do. So rather than be honest with me and rather than just disappear, he's just stuck around, still chatting, pretending everythings ok and he wants me....because that is far easier, than to hit me with the hurtful truth.

"It's a shame we only met once", but really, if he liked you alot, he would have visited again. Perhaps he likes the idea of it being online alot more then it being offline, if you know what I mean.

When he'd said 'It's a shame we only met once'...I'd immediatley thought, it meant we were not going to meet again. In fact I'd very nearly said to him, 'You are making it sound, like we will never meet again'....

Immediatley after saying this, he then said 'But you know the situation, I have problems...I'm stressed out and can't sleep at night'....

That told me, that we would be meeting, no time soon.

I have this gut feeling, it aint just about money....
Something else is going on...and that something else, is likely another new love interest...

My gut is screaming this out to me...

His contact this week, has been mostly texts and daily. It's always usually a call. Seems this past week, he hasn't been assed to pick up a phone!! He is also frequenting a chat site, which is where I was chatting with him last night. He seems to be on there a lot of late...my gut is likely 100% correct!

I will know because if he has met someone...the daily calls and texts, will decrease.....and this is a guy, who has called every day, for a year. When there are changes to the habits....theres something wrong.

[xjadedx]

He's not relationship material xjadedx. He's just one of those people that like to play online. He can't handle real life dating.

It's just one of those lessons in life that we painfully learn through experience. You now have that experience and won't repeat it. You are a wonderful person who deserves better. Don't ever think that you deserve what he is doing despite what he says.

Asking you to wait is bs. Can you predict a happy marriage (or long term relationship) with him? If not, you are wasting your time. If he really wanted to be with a woman watch how fast he would come up with the money to visit her and he would not tell you to not visit him.

Thanls Lesa and yeah, I do deserve better.

And deep down I know that if he was 'that' interested, he'd make an effort to be here. He found the money to get here, fastly and the first time he came to meet me. Yet after meeting me...it's a problem finding money.

I've been thinking and over thinking all day long...my gut says, 'I've been played'.

One thing is for sure, I won't be contacting him. Not that I really did anyway, it was him who always rang.

Think I'd be feeling a whole lot worse, had I been the one running after him.

[valentinement]

My Valentine


Valentines is near
Just wishing you were here
You will always be near
My heart will never be the same
Beneath my skin, my soul lies waiting for you
Everyday I think of you I feel blue
Never give up hope
Remembering the first kiss
All I ask is to be with you
And for you to be my Valentine
For I will always cherish your heart in mine


Contributed by: Jose Villalpando

[lastwish]

The guy is not in love. I agree with the other posters who said that when a guy truely likes a women, he would put in the effort to see her. I know its hard to accept this at first (I went through something somewhat similar) but be courageous and break this up. When a dude isn't acting right, he's got to go.

[fi123]

IMO, i would dump this guy. He's married or has a girlfriend...no other reason he won't let u visit him...living with sister excuse...i don't think so...end of

[Lahrell]

Well I always trust my gut feeling. I had a dream last night where the girl was at his place and some bad things happened. Not sex, just bad things.

I was worried about him, so I smsed him, then mailed him to ask if everything was ok with him.

Then his new "girlfriend" mailed me to say I wasn't allowed to sms/ chat/ mail/ call anymore, and she pretty much put the things he did with me in my lap. As if it was my fault.

Told her the story between us and all, but she didn't seem to care. Wanted to ring, so we did. She was just as arrogant as I dreamt about it, and he did as if he didn't care about losing my friendship.

Told him I absolutely want no single sign of life, he is dead to me. I told him don't let the door hit you on the way out, he wanted to say something, but I hung up.

Removed every single thing of him. Stupid player and I didn't wanted to see it, but he just strung me along. He was right when he talked himself down, he is a effin lying womanpart.

He didn't wanted me to visit, so here was the reason. My gut feeling and dream came true, sadly.

End of the story, he's dead to me now. Just hope he will leave me alone. I'm afraid it's the same for your story even though the two of you met .

[xjadedx]

lastwish....well me and him did only meet once and who is 'in love' after just one meeting?? LOL...takes times for people to fall in love. I'd more say, that he hadn't been all that attracted to me in real life maybe??...that I wasn't perhaps, his type. But he'd seen pics of me before we met....and not just one pic, but twenty pics!!!! He said I wasn't what he'd been expecting, I was better than my pics....but he coulda just been saying that.

fi123 Yeah, it's crossed my mind also he could be married. Some things don't add up about him. Like for instance, the night we met, I'd spent five hours with him. I'd told him he could stay, rather than have to head back so late.....yet he didn't stay! He's also said that when he comes up again, we will make it throught the day, as he doesn't like driving at night...?? It's like he can't be here at night or stay overnight.....now a single guy would be able to stay! So that kinda got me thinking...??

[Lahrell]

It's good that it started to get you thinking. It really seems he's stringing you alone. A single guy would indeed sleep over. Seems to me he likes to have it be online. I think somewhere Indignant I think it was made a comment about people having online "affaires" fairytale kinda thing.

For the sake of yourself find a guy that's into you more then this bastard .

You deserve better!

[lesa]

fi123 Yeah, it's crossed my mind also he could be married. Some things don't add up about him. Like for instance, the night we met, I'd spent five hours with him. I'd told him he could stay, rather than have to head back so late.....yet he didn't stay! He's also said that when he comes up again, we will make it throught the day, as he doesn't like driving at night...?? It's like he can't be here at night or stay overnight.....now a single guy would be able to stay! So that kinda got me thinking...??

Yep he is taken. Maybe his ex?-wife.

You can always do a quick search online--free if you are investigative savvy.

[lesa]

I think somewhere Indignant I think it was made a comment about people having online "affaires" fairytale kinda thing.

Indignant? Where?

[Lahrell]

Sorry, haven't had much sleep last night . What I meant to say, I think it was Indignant *hope I speller her name right* that said something in my topic about online relations, I'll see if I can find her quote!

online dating is a wonderful fantasy world that may not be taken seriously. it's a chance for married people to get away from the real world that they are in and have an affair without having the consequences of a real world affair (in some cases) it's a chance for singles to get some attention without taking it to the next level. personally i never dated anyone i met online. cybering is as far as took it. there are so many great individuals in a real life that i meet on a daily basis.

[xjadedx]

I've tried doing a search....nothing shows up about him. And I don't think it's a case of he prefers things online. He'd wanted to meet me after 2 weeks of knowing me online. Normally people who like to keep it online, flake all the time and don't even meet once.

I just think it's a case of, he wern't all that into me when he saw me. It's not that he wants to keep things online, for if I'd been what he was looking for, he'd have been back, of that I feel sure. What I don't understand is and if this is the case, why continue to lead me into believing I do mean something and lie to me? Normally if people meet and there is no interest....then the guy/girl just tends to disappear. I wouldn't continue chatting for months later, to a guy I wasn't interested in. And I sure as heck wouldn't be promising I'd go back to see him and if I had no intention of doing so. I'd have been kind enough to tell him that I didn't feel we were compatible.

[Lahrell]

I've tried doing a search....nothing shows up about him. And I don't think it's a case of he prefers things online. He'd wanted to meet me after 2 weeks of knowing me online. Normally people who like to keep it online, flake all the time and don't even meet once.

I just think it's a case of, he wern't all that into me when he saw me. It's not that he wants to keep things online, for if I'd been what he was looking for, he'd have been back, of that I feel sure. What I don't understand is and if this is the case, why continue to lead me into believing I do mean something and lie to me? Normally if people meet and there is no interest....then the guy/girl just tends to disappear. I wouldn't continue chatting for months later, to a guy I wasn't interested in. And I sure as heck wouldn't be promising I'd go back to see him and if I had no intention of doing so. I'd have been kind enough to tell him that I didn't feel we were compatible.

Trust me. He probably liked the attention. I wonder the same. My supposedly best friend cried tears saying he missed his best friend. Last saturday when his girlfriend mailed me to leave him alone I finally got him on the phone after I had to tell her what privacy is and that I wanted a private convo with him. He didn't care about me at all. He had exactly the same arrogant tone as she did. That's where I know how easy he is manipulated and how much he cared about me.

This guy told me sweet lies too, that we would meet up when he would have money, be it as friends, be it as more. I'm glad she beat me too it, he was just desperate to have anything for a girlfriend as he liked alot of females past 6 months.

He just enjoyed the attention I gave to him. Chances are high this guy of yours is exactly doing the same. Stop thinking about it, just drop him and be ready to move on. Don't wait for an eye opener like I did. Though that actually helped me to tell him he's dead for me from now on. Cremated, burried and spat on, that's what he is for me now .

Those guys are the one that lie, don't dare to say everything and say they don't want to hurt you, in the meantime knowing damn well they do all those things. Which hurts even more if you're an honest person yourself..