what do I do,I cant just let it happen...

[Aeradalia]

Lightning... as a final note... talk to the people yourself as well... explain what has happened to her, and how you want to help her. They will be more than happy to explain the do's and don'ts in a situation like this... as well as help you guide her towards seeking help.

Plus it will take sole responsibility of helping her off your shoulders --- the longer you shoulder this burden, the greater the chance will be that you will crack under the pressure... thus hurting her and yourself in the process.

Neither YOU or HER can do this alone... not even with just you two can you both hope to overcome this. Outside help is vital. Please remember that.

[lesa]

I believe you fear social workers because you are thinking of only the child protection agencies and child social services that find homes for children in horrible environments.

Social services is more than just putting children in foster care. At her age she can probably state that she does not want that service if she can show that all is well at home.

What I am talking about is all the other services that social work provide. Such as all those websites you are looking at. Who do you think provide those?

[lightning88]

Lightning... as a final note... talk to the people yourself as well... explain what has happened to her, and how you want to help her. They will be more than happy to explain the do's and don'ts in a situation like this... as well as help you guide her towards seeking help.

Plus it will take sole responsibility of helping her off your shoulders --- the longer you shoulder this burden, the greater the chance will be that you will crack under the pressure... thus hurting her and yourself in the process.

Neither YOU or HER can do this alone... not even with just you two can you both hope to overcome this. Outside help is vital. Please remember that.

Thank you very much,I agree and think that is a good idea.I have some things to do tomarrow so I will stop by the address Carl gave and talk to them myself and see if we can get her therapy.

I believe you fear social workers because you are thinking of only the child protection agencies and child social services that find homes for children in horrible environments.

Social services is more than just putting children in foster care. At her age she can probably state that she does not want that service if she can show that all is well at home.

What I am talking about is all the other services that social work provide. Such as all those websites you are looking at. Who do you think provide those?

I think what I will do is talk to them myself first so I can better explain to her what they can do. I know if the term social worker is used she wont call them. Because she is afraid of them. I'll have a talk with her and see if I can get her to talk with them. I'm sure she will accept help just not from a social worker because shes scared of being in foster care again.

[lesa]

I think what I will do is talk to them myself first so I can better explain to her what they can do. I know if the term social worker is used she wont call them. Because she is afraid of them. I'll have a talk with her and see if I can get her to talk with them. I'm sure she will accept help just not from a social worker because shes scared of being in foster care again.

Then please don't use that term. It's not important what they are called. What's important is that they can provide her the services that will do her good.

[lightning88]

Then please don't use that term. It's not important what they are called. What's important is that they can provide her the services that will do her good.

I will talk to her about it,but I wont force her to use them. But I am going to force her to get help from therapy or something along those lines. I know she needs help and I'll do all I can to get it for her.

[IndiReloaded]

Shit. I read these threads and think I should take on a foster kid. Damn.

Lightning, I have nothing to add to the good advice you have been given, except that I hope you do more than post to vent your frustration. Act, call someone who is trained and experienced to help.

I think we should all make it our mission to help at least one or two people in our lives. With real, life altering help when the opportunity and situation permits.

I think you could really make a difference to the life of this gal. Just by getting her in touch with the right people. Do it. But also protect YOURSELF in the process. I would really avoid dating this girl for a long while, if ever. Also avoid getting too involved in her recovery process. Helping someone with a problem does NOT mean you take it on as your own. Ultimately, we all stand on our own feet even if we need the occassional prop. You are young and have your own life ahead of you.

Good luck hun.

[lightning88]

Shit. I read these threads and think I should take on a foster kid. Damn.

Lightning, I have nothing to add to the good advice you have been given, except that I hope you do more than post to vent your frustration. Act, call someone who is trained and experienced to help.

I think we should all make it our mission to help at least one or two people in our lives. With real, life altering help when the opportunity and situation permits.

I think you could really make a difference to the life of this gal. Just by getting her in touch with the right people. Do it. But also protect YOURSELF in the process. I would really avoid dating this girl for a long while, if ever. Also avoid getting too involved in her recovery process. Helping someone with a problem does NOT mean you take it on as your own. Ultimately, we all stand on our own feet even if we need the occassional prop. You are young and have your own life ahead of you.

Good luck hun.

Thank you very much for your advice,I do post to vent ,it helps me in a way........and I also didn't really know what to do,I can NOT just let it happen. I am going to get her the help she needs. And drop off printouts of his letters/texts so he will be charged.

I do love her very much and really am trying to make a difference for her and help her. It really does hurt me to know she has had to endure this.