The Difference Between Guys and Girls Who Sleep Around

[NeoSeminole]

dodging another question, I see.

[flea]

lol @ OP. that was a classic!

[doppelgaenger]

I laughed, but I am worried I can't contribute anything to this thread without sounding like a sexist asshole

[BoredGeorge]

Man who sleeps around is legend.
Women who sleeps around is slut.

Is that hard to understand for you ?

[starbuck]

were you raised by watching Disney movies in an all female household? Seriously, what's wrong with you? You've got to be the biggest white knight I've ever seen.

Says the guy with the Superman avatar

(Sorry I couldn't resist!)

[Primo]

How many times have you been married, Primo? What's the duration of your longest relationship?

Just wondering if you are full of it, or actually speaking from some experience?

I'm not or ever will be full of it Indi, the only threads I ever give my advice or opinion on are those where I have experience. If someone doesn't want to factor in my 2 cents on a thread where I post that's fine with me, but at least they'll know what they've read is someone that's speaking from real-life experience.

You know what you know about me from what I post and will continue to post, that's it. Feel free to skewer me about whatever you morally disagree with or whatever amuses you when you like, I can take it. The answers to those questions may come out on another thread one day, but it certainly won't be at your request.

Back to business now...the numbers don't lie, they are what they are, most marriages and long term relationships aren't very intimate, very passionate and certainly not very stable. They're always vulnerable and the vast majority don't last. At least you agree that you can't control your thoughts and feelings, who you fall for. Of course we can control our actions, it's simple to do right?

I already know you're a believer in 'working' on a relationship Indi, you do it. In my 'opinion' it's a long term waste of time, but if you disagree and feel that you can keep something afloat with determination, will power and hard work, I certainly respect that and wish you the best. It's usually a one-sided effort, though it may not appear that way when you're involved.

[Gribble]

Absolutely you can control your feelings and who you fall in love with. People are too selfish and immature to do so. They run off and get hitched with the first person to make their heart go all a-flutter, never considering the reality of the situation and thus dooming themselves and (this is the real issue) their future children to divorce. And believe me, divorce is every bit as traumatizing for a child as it is for an adult, if not moreso.

[Primo]

No Gribble, they get married, have kids and then get divorced, because they have no real desire to be together. The people that 'both' have their hearts all a-flutter are the one's who make it.

Like I've always said and will say, lots of one-way soulmates in life, look at the threads on here as a teeny-tiny example. People are too selfish and insecure to remain single, they try to make something work so 'they' can have a family or not be alone, then wonder why it breaks down when things get tough. (BECAUSE THEY DON'T TRULY LOVE YOU).

[Primo]

IndiReloaded says:

"How many times have you been married, Primo? What's the duration of your longest relationship?

Just wondering if you are full of it, or actually speaking from some experience?"

translation: "I'm trying to bolster my authority on the subject in a roundabout way by questioning your relationship experience"

hey, I have a question for you: how many times have you been to marriage counseling, Indi?

QFT

Indi wants to always challenge me and will always lose. She refuses to be trumped in life and love experience and can't let it go. I'd be damned if I'd take her on in a secondary education thread, or anything to do with book smarts for that matter. But I'm accepting of my strengths and weaknesses, Indi hasn't learned that yet.

[Gribble]

I disagree. I think most folks in the west who get married do feel something. The problem is they don't think. Feelings are mercurial at best, downright deceptive at worst. Just because some chick gives you sweaty palms does not mean the two of you are compatible. People need to take a step back and look at their own lives with as little bias as they can manage. This stuff about "real" love being forever and blah-di-blah is bull.

Marriages last due to hard work, not love.

[Primo]

I wish it was that easy Gribble, but the facts are and the numbers add up. Divorce rate is 1/2, not even factoring in seperations, infidelity and people who just tough it out for the kids, the financial interests...or they're just bored and unhappy but don't want to be alone or are kind hearts and don't want to destroy the other persons life (who thinks they have their soulmate)

I'm being generous by saying 80% don't work out, when you add in the disastrous LTR's, it gets even higher. True soulmates are hard to find, much more rare than people think. Some people do work through it successfully though they're always wanting for something else deep down. Sometimes one person will work hard, make the sacrifices and carry it through and then when the kids are gone...poof...so's the partner they tried to make it work with.

I'm not saying I personally haven't tried to make things work before Gribble, not being a hardass here, but it's a slippery, slippery slope with alot of people piled up around the base of that mountain.

[Primo]

Primo, Indi and 2 LF Mods in college days

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zry-plPXa9s"]YouTube - LF College Road Trip[/ame]

[qwertz]

Personally i think that if you actively need to work hard at a relationship there is no going back, you can delay the end, but cant stop it..unless at least one of you lives a very unhappy life.

Relationships involve give and take, but shouldnt need 'work' all the time.

[Lite]

A guy with a different girl every week is not a legend. He's a slut too.

Excuse me? I prefer the term ManWhore thank you.

I've been a male slut. It was an amusing if emotionally hollow time for me. I think the reason the double standard exists, is because generally in nature the male with the best breeding stock succeeds at breeding most often.

And in the case of prize male farm animals, they stud them out.

Personally I prefer my women to just not have hangups about sex and be safe about sleeping with multiple partners in the past. That's about it. I get tested, they get tested, condoms are used. It's all good.

[IndiReloaded]

I'm not or ever will be full of it Indi, the only threads I ever give my advice or opinion on are those where I have experience. If someone doesn't want to factor in my 2 cents on a thread where I post that's fine with me, but at least they'll know what they've read is someone that's speaking from real-life experience.

You know what you know about me from what I post and will continue to post, that's it. Feel free to skewer me about whatever you morally disagree with or whatever amuses you when you like, I can take it. The answers to those questions may come out on another thread one day, but it certainly won't be at your request.

Back to business now...the numbers don't lie, they are what they are, most marriages and long term relationships aren't very intimate, very passionate and certainly not very stable. They're always vulnerable and the vast majority don't last. At least you agree that you can't control your thoughts and feelings, who you fall for. Of course we can control our actions, it's simple to do right?

I already know you're a believer in 'working' on a relationship Indi, you do it. In my 'opinion' it's a long term waste of time, but if you disagree and feel that you can keep something afloat with determination, will power and hard work, I certainly respect that and wish you the best. It's usually a one-sided effort, though it may not appear that way when you're involved.

What you fail to describe, however, are the benefits that result from working on a relationship. Or anything for that matter.

This is why I ask your experience in such matters. I notice you avoid answering, so I will assume its limited.

I don't promote working on things for their own sake, I promote working towards improvement. This is assuming, in the case of a relationship, that we are dealing with two fundamentally good & compatible people. Yes, its important to 'know when to fold', and there are disaster marriages that should have ended before they even started, but that is not the majority (in my opinion, of course). The real problem is the disposable, throwaway mindset of our modern society. Young married couples lack the role models of generations past where partners had to learn to cooperate and work through issues to become better people. Today, I see a lot of selfish people who simply lack the self-discipline and commitment to make it to the stage where they reap the benefits of that hard work. I don't even think this has to be done through marriage necessarily. I know some unmarried partners who are just as committed as the married folk.

Because you exhibit characteristics of someone I consider lacking integrity (you chose to be a partner in cheating--that means you lack restraint and/or are selfish), you don't understand the value in what I'm suggesting. The fact you are still single just indicates I'm probably right. Your expectations are not congruent with what you can actually offer a partner of the quality you seek.