My friend...

[Incognito]

I dont think this was his plan..or at least i hope not- that would make him one desperate fcuker!

No I wasn't saying that was his plan. I simply was pointing out that it is sad in general that some men do that, and that not all friendships by
men with women are to eventually get in their pants.

[dewilliams2]

It will only get weird if you want it to...he is the same exact guy as he was before and your the same exact woman...the only difference is you have had sex now.

You said the sex was amazing so I say see where it goes.

I mean if he is that great of a guy that you have been friends with him for years and the sex works then what exactly is missing?

[qwertz]

^ the way my last 'relationship' ended, proves im not ready for one, nor do i want another.

[dewilliams2]

Just take shit really slow...don't put any expectations on it...thats when relationships fail...just have fun for awhile and see where things go...just let go and don't worry about what is going to happen...just address every day as they come and don't worry about it.

[Incognito]

Sorry I couldn't disagree more dewilliams2. Sex causes attachment. Attachment without commitment means that technically both parties are free to date and have sex with other people. Once two friends (who already have an attachment as friends) start having sex there is more of an attachment and once a third party enters the picture because of the lack of commitment everything falls apart. Once friends start having sex it is a relationship. Please see post #17 paragraph 2, sentence 4

[dono01]

Sorry I couldn't disagree more dewilliams2. Sex causes attachment. Attachment without commitment means that technically both parties are free to date and have sex with other people. Once two friends (who already have an attachment as friends) start having sex there is more of an attachment and once a third party enters the picture because of the lack of commitment everything falls apart. Once friends start having sex it is a relationship. Please see post #17 paragraph 2, sentence 4

+1 Incognito

[dewilliams2]

Sorry I couldn't disagree more dewilliams2. Sex causes attachment. Attachment without commitment means that technically both parties are free to date and have sex with other people. Once two friends (who already have an attachment as friends) start having sex there is more of an attachment and once a third party enters the picture because of the lack of commitment everything falls apart. Once friends start having sex it is a relationship. Please see post #17 paragraph 2, sentence 4

No I'm not saying that at all....I was telling her not to put any pressure on the him or herself to make a move right now....just continue the friendship, sex if they want to or back off of it and see where it goes.

I think it is when people start to put all of these labels on things where everything gets weird. Just relax and take your time qwerty....your both coming out of relationships. Talk to him about that and tell him you want to go slow. You may need time but that you enjoyed yourself. Like I said its your call on if you wanta keep having sex or not.

But like I said earlier he is still the same guy and she is still the same girl....they have just had sex now. It didn't get weird for me and my gf but that is because we didn't really let our relationship change...of course like I said before we had sex several years before.

But don't freak out just cause you had sex....and while sex may create some attachment...there was attachment there before like you pointed out but that isn't a bad thing and it doesn't mean you have to stress it with expectations and deadlines.

[Mish]

Today

^ the way my last 'relationship' ended, proves im not ready for one, nor do i want another.

06-04-10

I think I will go against the grain on this one and say that you are not ready for a relationship yet qwerty. Going out with this guy for 6 weeks in itself was a bad idea. You need some time alone until you've completely healed. Going into a relationship right now will only inflict pain on yourself and the guy (and possibly your kid). When you are not ready, you are not ready and you can't force yourself. It has to come naturally.

I know what you are saying. Before i started seeing this guy I didnt want a relationship, i didnt want anyone to get too close, I was/am scared of getting hurt and didnt feel i deserved to be happy.

But things change, and ive realised that no matter how much i dwell and feel sorry for myself, refusing to allow myself to be happy is not going to bring my daughter back. If i wait until the pain stops then i will be waiting forever as it wont ever stop hurting, but it will and is getting easier. This guy puts a smile on my face, and i put a smile on his. He knows everything about what happened and he is well aware that im still healing.
I dont know what the future holds for us, but i do know that since i have been with him, i feel happy and im living, rather than just existing.

And if it all goes tits up, then i will delete this thread

<Shakes head>

[vashti]

Yeah, aren't you seeing some other guy, qwerty?

[IndiReloaded]

I give the guy props for going for it. I think if he's a good guy, you should give him a chance. Go with your head a bit more this time.

[Perryville]

Well this just sucks big loads of rocks. Qwert, You had me fooled, I really thought that you were a woman of heart and mind, when all you are is a selfish user. To **** with somebody's mind is worse than ****ing their body. He may have beeen a confused puppy about trying to kiss you, but you are soooooo much worse by ****ing him, just to get your jollies. How ass-backward can a person be? So I've dropped you as a friend. Please , in the future, don't comment on my posts, and I won't comment on yours.

[Mish]

Wow, dude. Come on. That was uncalled for.

[qwertz]

Yeah, aren't you seeing some other guy, qwerty?

I finished him. He was a bit too full on.

Well this just sucks big loads of rocks. Qwert, You had me fooled, I really thought that you were a woman of heart and mind, when all you are is a selfish user. To **** with somebody's mind is worse than ****ing their body. He may have beeen a confused puppy about trying to kiss you, but you are soooooo much worse by ****ing him, just to get your jollies. How ass-backward can a person be? So I've dropped you as a friend. Please , in the future, don't comment on my posts, and I won't comment on yours.

I didnt realise you cared so much I also didnt realise you were perfect...and as for commenting..i will comment where i like, it is afterall an open forum.

You really think i would **** him with the intention of hurting or confusing him more? I didnt plan it to happen and we had talked for ages before anything happened about how I make the wrong decisions all the time and i didnt/dont trust myself to make the right decision over him.

I dont even know what i want. We went for a run together this morning, things were normal between us but at the same time, more intense.
Ive done alot of thinking and realised that he is the one person in my life that has never ever let me down. He has been there through the bad and the good times for all these years. He's also the only person i trust 100%.

[vashti]

Well this just sucks big loads of rocks. Qwert, You had me fooled, I really thought that you were a woman of heart and mind, when all you are is a selfish user. To **** with somebody's mind is worse than ****ing their body. He may have beeen a confused puppy about trying to kiss you, but you are soooooo much worse by ****ing him, just to get your jollies. How ass-backward can a person be? So I've dropped you as a friend. Please , in the future, don't comment on my posts, and I won't comment on yours.

lol

qwerty has fallen from her pedestal.

qwert - Ahh, well. You were both unattached, and you dumped the other guy you were seeing BEFORE you slept with this one, right?

[Lipp]

A one, a two, a one two three four.