Has Anyone Been Through This That Can Advise Me Please?

[IndiReloaded]

You need to separate your problems with your husband from your feelings for this other guy.

If your husband treated you the same way this other guy does, all would be sweetness and light, right? So, recognize that your feelings for this other guy are symptoms of the problems in your marriage. View it as a problem to be solved, by you, rather than looking for someone else to give you what you want.

Fact is, you don't know anything about this other man except the tiny bit you know from your occasional meetings, with the rest filled by a lot of fantasy. Any 'soul mate' feelings you have are being generated entirely by this fantasy. You barely know him as a remote work colleague, much less as a romantic partner and step-daddy.

As for 'how long' it takes for feelings to subside, I can't tell you. My situation is very different from yours. The relationships between my husband and our friend is an entirely different dynamic. As I said, what I CAN tell you is the common solution to this type of problem. I've already posted my advice on this.

You can PM if you like for more help, but this^ really covers it. You need to recognize the source of this issue, and its NOT that you've found your True Love in this other man. Its that you've come across some real relationships issues that you need to solve for yourself, rather than looking to someone else to fix them for you.

Good luck to you and your family.

[IndiReloaded]

I will try and stick it out for these two years for the sake of my daughter, and then I think I really need to re-consider: how much more or less damaging is it for her to be in a happy broken home than a stressful united one?

I must also try to let go of all thoughts of 'work guy' and the life we could have together, and just focus on where things stand at home right now.

Wish me luck - I'm going to need it...

Good luck Lady. I think it's the right choice, but maybe not the best approach. Are you really going to stick it out for two years? You may give up sooner than you think.

Its not a bad start. She's thinking about the end of those 2 years now, but those of us who've been here know that a lot can change in that time. Patience is the key and one needs time for such.