she's a sleaze!

[feelslikeido]

WHAT MORE CAN YOU DO OR SAY TO THIS GIRL?!?!?!?

apparently i can't do anything. according to everybody on this forum the relationship is doomed. How do you think marriages work? you think it's all a walk in the park... getting through an issue like this is just a test as to whether you can deal with things together. cause long-term you gotta be able to resolve differences.

When she talks about sexual stuff in front of friends, what are their reactions? Do they laugh along with a lets say a dirty joke or 2? Do they get embarassed when she talks about your sex life to them?

they laugh quietly (i.e. politely, like when someone says a joke that's not funny and you don't want them to feel embarrassed so you just pretend you found it funny). more recently her best friend and his girlfriend actually had a go at her after she said something which made me feel bad for her b/c she didn't mean to offend anyone. they got over that pretty quick though, but still i just thought it was a headache i'd prefer if she was a bit more careful around what she says...

[feelslikeido]

You're the one sleeping with her, you slutty bastard.

making sense never was your forte, was it.

[girl68]

In marriages you should have already matched up personality wise, while you have not. Do you understand the difference between a problem and a clash of compatibility?

[Paperclip]

are you serious about this? that a partner can't expect some privacy these days? wow, i must be old-fashioned.

You can expect privacy, you just can't expect it from her because it doesn't seem like something she is willing to give. I'm surprised you haven't caught on yet -- you can only control your own actions, not hers so you can express your concerns but if she isn't keen to alter her behaviour you only have two choices; put up with it or leave.

ETA: To continue on from there... you are free to have ANY expectations you wish but by the same note, your partner is free to choose to live up to those expectations or not. It then becomes up to you to decide whether that is a deal breaker for you or something you can live with/compromise on. You don't want to break up with her but you want her to change, she isn't going to though so you need to ACCEPT that and decide from there which of the two are more important (because it is evident you cannot have both); finding a girl who holds the same ideals as you in regards to sex or remaining in this relationship.

Something I try to remember in ALL relationships (family, friends, romantic, professional) is what I said above; you can ONLY control your own actions... nobody else's. If you have a problem you can bring it up with the other person but it is ultimately up to them what they do with it; take it on board and change or discard it. You need to learn to accept other's choices, they won't always change (in fact, they rarely will) and you need to move past that step... you aren't getting what you want so where do you want to go from here?

And also, on another point you keep bringing up -- she doesn't owe you anything!! You choose to change/compromise -- YOUR choice based on HER recommendations, you were 100% free to remain as you wish but obviously saw reason/merit in changing. Own your own decisions!!!

[Take2]

How do you think marriages work? you think it's all a walk in the park... getting through an issue like this is just a test as to whether you can deal with things together. cause long-term you gotta be able to resolve differences.

How do YOU think marriages work? The reason we don't marry someone on the 3rd date is because a HUGE part of agreeing to spend forever with someone is making sure that A. You have some crucial things in common to facilitate working out those differences B. You are good at communicating and compromising together C. You are willing to work through whatever comes your way.

If one is looking for a marriage or other permanant relationship...once there is proof that A B or C is missing, it is probably best to move on. Your description of your current relationship sounds like it is missing all three. There is nothing you can do to make this girl become your ideal lifemate. Sometimes that's the way it is.

[qwertz]

Jeeez, cant believe the reaction to this...if my bf made comments like that around the dinner table with my folks i would be pretty embarrassed. Dont get me wrong, i have a bit of a filthy sense of humour, but theres a time and a place.
This is a ridiculously minor issue that can (or should at least) be easily worked through.

[Take2]

Jeeez, cant believe the reaction to this...if my bf made comments like that around the dinner table with my folks i would be pretty embarrassed. Dont get me wrong, i have a bit of a filthy sense of humour, but theres a time and a place.
This is a ridiculously minor issue that can (or should at least) be easily worked through.

It is only a ridiculously minor issue that can be easily worked through if it is ridiculously easy to the parties involved and can be easily worked through by them. For me, an inability to comport oneself in public would be a deal-breaker way before we ever became an exclusive couple, so I can see why it isn't ridiculously minor to everyone. Of course, for me it would be easily worked through because I just wouldn't get into a relationship with someone who acted like that. It becomes complex when you DO get close and still have such differing opinions on everyday matters.