BF wants sex without a protection/condom!

[CAM]

From a male's perspective none of this really applies. I can ALWAYS feel a condom and it ALWAYS desensitizes sexual sensation for me. The entire thread is about her boyfriend wanting to have unprotected sex for his pleasure, not because OP thinks receptive vaginal sex will feel much different either way.

OP, you definitely need to consider some form of contraception. Always.

I'm reminded of the objections to the Poor Law of 1601...namely, if you feed the underclass then it will just encourage them to reproduce. You folks are so easily controlled. It is amazing that the power elite don't come from third tier state schools rather than Harvard and Yale. It doesn't take a genius to realize that you share the basic pleasure points of the vermin and not much else. An orgasm is all that you want. Well, some food, some drugs, and anything else the State can do to make your stay on the planet Earth pleasureable.

Nowhere do you discuss obligations to your children, your family, your community, your society. I don't even sense a tinge of guilt or remorse with your multiple offspring produced in sordid ways. Rather, life begins and ends on your clitoris and your glans penis. Frigthtening. I think I just saw Spengler's weather forecast. It's the coldest day in Winter. You don't catch the reference, huh? Of course not.

[ShellyZ]

From a male's perspective none of this really applies. I can ALWAYS feel a condom and it ALWAYS desensitizes sexual sensation for me. The entire thread is about her boyfriend wanting to have unprotected sex for his pleasure

Yeah, that's the problem. He's choosing his pleasure over her health and safety. I wasn't referring to the OP in that quote, I was addressing the other ladies who were trying to explain why they don't like condoms, while talking about their multiple unplanned pregnancies. It boggles the mind. I have the same attitude about men. You don't like the feel of condoms? TOO BAD. You're not the one who's at risk of getting pregnant.

That said, not all men dislike condoms. I'm sure all men can feel the condom, but for most, it doesn't interfere with their ability to enjoy sex. My boyfriend always wore a condom (always insisted on it actually, but I certainly was not opposed to it!) and he never had a problem. Now, a lot of men will CLAIM that they can't feel anything with a condom, but they're not necessarily telling the truth. If women are expected to deal with the side effects of the pill 24/7, I think it's reasonable to expect men to deal with the slight inconvenience of wearing a condom for a few minutes. It's a small price to pay for the blessing of pregnancy-free sex.

[Charlie Boy II]

I always wear condoms. Even with long-term girlfriends.I don't feel safe relying on someone to take a pill every day. I also like having that "clean" feeling from knowing I've barely had unprotected sex with any partners.

I'll have unprotected sex when I'm married.

[CAM]

Yeah, that's the problem. He's choosing his pleasure over her health and safety. I wasn't referring to the OP in that quote, I was addressing the other ladies who were trying to explain why they don't like condoms, while talking about their multiple unplanned pregnancies. It boggles the mind. I have the same attitude about men. You don't like the feel of condoms? TOO BAD. You're not the one who's at risk of getting pregnant.

That said, not all men dislike condoms. I'm sure all men can feel the condom, but for most, it doesn't interfere with their ability to enjoy sex. My boyfriend always wore a condom (always insisted on it actually, but I certainly was not opposed to it!) and he never had a problem. Now, a lot of men will CLAIM that they can't feel anything with a condom, but they're not necessarily telling the truth. If women are expected to deal with the side effects of the pill 24/7, I think it's reasonable to expect men to deal with the slight inconvenience of wearing a condom for a few minutes. It's a small price to pay for the blessing of pregnancy-free sex.

ShellyZ...on you I confer the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Orgasmology,with all the rights priviledges and honors thereto ordained.

Wow, I'd bet you didn't write that long of an essay in high school or college, but by golly...you know your men and their condoms. With folks like you on our side, I'm sure that the world economy will turn around. We could use orgasms to provide alternative energy for the planet.

[CAM]

Oh, I wear condoms. Shelly, you are right of course that us boys should do that. But, wow...does it really require the essay about pleasure? How about the essay about responsibility? Responsibilty to not add another unwanted human life to the Earth. Responsibility to not cost the society more because two folks wanted to copulate.

[ShellyZ]

I'm reminded of the objections to the Poor Law of 1601...namely, if you feed the underclass then it will just encourage them to reproduce. You folks are so easily controlled. It is amazing that the power elite don't come from third tier state schools rather than Harvard and Yale. It doesn't take a genius to realize that you share the basic pleasure points of the vermin and not much else. An orgasm is all that you want. Well, some food, some drugs, and anything else the State can do to make your stay on the planet Earth pleasureable.

It doesn't say anywhere that the OP or anyone else in this thread is poor. I don't know how you jumped to that conclusion. You think rich people are never careless about birth control? You think rich people never have unplanned pregnancies? It has nothing to do with socioeconomic class. I can't even comment on your assumption that people who live on a fixed income are stupid, lazy, ignorant, and worthless. Maybe you should think about getting your head out of your ass and joining the 21st century. You're not superior just because you have money. I happened to grow up privileged, but that doesn't make me better than people who didn't.

[CAM]

The underclass...it ain't all about money, sweetheart...its a way of life, a mentality. The law's name was the "Poor Law" but you see, you stopped there and didn't read shit after that, right???

That's the problem here: we think that $ = class and whoa...it doesn't. The problem here is ignorance and a sense that others owe you a living. That it is your right.

And, you may have money, but that doesn't mean that you aren't lower class in mentality.

[ShellyZ]

Oh, I wear condoms. Shelly, you are right of course that us boys should do that. But, wow...does it really require the essay about pleasure? How about the essay about responsibility? Responsibilty to not add another unwanted human life to the Earth. Responsibility to not cost the society more because two folks wanted to copulate.

I don't know what you're talking about. You stopped making sense a long time ago. I didn't write an essay. I'm not talking about responsibility to society because I don't believe that personal life choices should be based on society's demand for lower taxes. I believe that personal life choices should be based on what each person thinks is best for his or her life. If two people want to have a baby and they have the means to care for one, then by all means, they should do it. I'm talking about people who don't want a baby but are unwilling to prevent pregnancy because they think contraception will interfere with their enjoyment of sex. No one has a responsibility to restrict their lives in order to keep your taxes low. Your taxes have nothing to do with other people's reproductive freedom.

[CAM]

I don't know what you're talking about. You stopped making sense a long time ago. I didn't write an essay. I'm not talking about responsibility to society because I don't believe that personal life choices should be based on society's demand for lower taxes. I believe that personal life choices should be based on what each person thinks is best for his or her life. If two people want to have a baby and they have the means to care for one, then by all means, they should do it. I'm talking about people who don't want a baby but are unwilling to prevent pregnancy because they think contraception will interfere with their enjoyment of sex. No one has a responsibility to restrict their lives in order to keep your taxes low. Your taxes have nothing to do with other people's reproductive freedom.

Your last clause just goes to prove you don't know much about modern societies.

[fun2bwith45]

Cam, you're not convincing any of us to come around to your poorly articulated notion of modern society. Pseudo-philosophical really.

I bet OP has been cream pied like 8x since this thread derailed.

[Mathias]

I bet OP has been cream pied like 8x since this thread derailed.

Dammit, I'm going to have to pay for that.

[IndiReloaded]

if he misses one he's not the one who's gonna get pregnant.

This^. So long as YOU are prepared to pay for the consequences. Are you?

[Charlie Boy II]

I bet OP has been cream pied like 8x since this thread derailed.

LOL, evocative image.

[MaidenMinx]

We're all paying...regardless of whether you live Down Under or in the States or elsewhere....we're all paying in some form. So, the "only" government support you are getting is for your son's very unfortunate health condition. Of course, autism is an unfortunate condition, but I would hardly discount the TREMENDOUS EXPENSE to society. You slough it off as if it were "only" a pittance, but it isn't and it is a recurring expense for the rest of of his life. A sizeable expense to society....millions of dollars (Aussie, that is) in direct and indirect costs, lost productivity, etc.

In the old days (like 40 years ago...), people used to have blood tests before they got married. Government used to pay attention to whether two people were likely to produce defective offspring. If it didn't look good for two people, then they were not issued a marriage license. Can you imagine? Why? Well, society wasn't willing to bless the union if it meant that we were all GOING TO PAY. And with today's DNA research, I'm guessing that we are not too far away from understanding a lot more about why, when two people mix their bodily fluids to produce a child, problems emerge. Ah, we call that prevention. Sadly, human beings will miss the moral mark on this and pursue eugenics of some sort (the awful extreme).

Oh, and guess what they used to do with children their parents could not afford to maintain (for the rest of their lives)? Sanitariums or even late term abortions. We still do the latter (if mommy wants it), but otherwise we just pay to support your choices (either one, actually... or all of them).

We live in a dream world where you can worry about "latex sensation" and don't give a second thought to planning (or not) or to the possibility that you might produce a child with health issues, etc. Sure, things did go awry and children had health issues, but we didn't take the whole thing quite so lightly as we do today and government certainly did not foot the bill for as much stuff as nowadays. The developed world is going broke with its social policies and your not-so-little expense to society is just one more item.

Happy latex (or not) sensations,

Cameron

Wow!! thanks for making a heap of assumptions and judging me based on them. Much appreciated. (/end sarcasm)

I would like to know if I had done things in the 'proper' order (ie marry then plan a child) and still ended up with an Autistic child if you would still think so little of me? And before you jump down anyone elses throat for having an Autistic child, do some research!! You have no idea what you are talking about on that front.

Also, here in Aus. we do NOT have to have a blood test before getting married. Not now and not in the past. Again, do some research before you open your mouth / start typing.

Next, as you may have gathered from the fact that I haven't had an unplanned pregnancy in over 7 years, I've learnt my lesson. You will probably tell me that one unplanned pregnancy should have been enough. Maybe when you pull your soap box off your high horse, not everyone thinks like you, nor should they have to.

And one last thing, since you have assumed I am a welfare suck I would like to clarify something. The support I receive for my son comes in the form of rebated therapies, and that is IT!! Oh unless you think it unfair that he is in a class of only 7 students with a teacher and an aide in a mainstream school. My fiance works 2 jobs and I work around 20 hours a week whilst being my sons primary carer.

Have I taken enough responsibility for you, or would you like to have another attempt at making me feel bad for my preferences?

[CAM]

Cam, you're not convincing any of us to come around to your poorly articulated notion of modern society. Pseudo-philosophical really.

I bet OP has been cream pied like 8x since this thread derailed.

"How will you convince us if we refuse to listen?" --Polymachus asks Socrates in The Republic.

This^. So long as YOU are prepared to pay for the consequences. Are you?

Good question. More accurately, the question is are "WE" prepared to pay for the mistakes of others? How responsible am I for you? We ask that question every time we vote.

The OP works two jobs, they don't have blood tests in Aus, etc...all she/he gets is a tax rebate for care. Yeah, well that tax rebate is a TAX COST. Everyone thinks small, about their own little cost to society and concludes that it ain't that much...but add it up across everyone, all of society.

The mixed metaphors aside, I don't think I'm perfect by any means. I've made lots of mistakes for which I should pay. Example: when I got my blood test for STI's the other day, well insurance will pay for part of that. Yet, it wasn't random chance that led to me to having sex and worrying about an STI--it was a conscious decision made by me to have sex and take a risk...and that was something for which I should be responsible in entirety. If my gf got pregnant because I had chosen not to use a condom on one occasion (she's on birth control)--she likes the warm feeling and I gave in to the idea--then I will have to bear the consequences.

Learning my lessons...I do that, too; but unlike you, I don't believe in resolution for my moral lapses. It is a cumulative weight on my being for which I will always be accountable. I don't believe that God (or government or the LF confessional) are able to offer absolution, moral or otherwise.