Ever have that moment...

[qwertz]

He has been over to the hospital a twice over the last few days (he has been off work) our relationship feels very strained right now. We are hardly talking, its almost like we dont know what to say to one another.

I really dont know how I feel, but i dont want to try and work out whats going on inside my head just yet.

[Wakeup]

I think it feels strained because you have built up resentment because he didn't live up to Your expectations of him. Are you being stand-offish and he's just mirroring your attitude? I'm not saying that that is what you're doing, I'm asking you if you are sub-concsiously doing that and don't realize it.
This also ties in with what I've been trying to tell you about not letting this become a wedge between the two of you. He's been there on both his days off and after he's rested. Personally, I don't think we can expect the "hunter" to be there with us and be away at the same time hunting and providing. He's there with you and for your son now and that's the main thing.

*We are hardly talking, its almost like we dont know what to say to one another.

I think that's often common when there is such stress and fear. Hug him. Don't be afraid to feed off of his strength.


How is your son recuperating?

[misombra]

That is not cool. You needs to man up big time.

[qwertz]

I think it feels strained because you have built up resentment because he didn't live up to Your expectations of him. Are you being stand-offish and he's just mirroring your attitude? I'm not saying that that is what you're doing, I'm asking you if you are sub-concsiously doing that and don't realize it.
This also ties in with what I've been trying to tell you about not letting this become a wedge between the two of you. He's been there on both his days off and after he's rested. Personally, I don't think we can expect the "hunter" to be there with us and be away at the same time hunting and providing. He's there with you and for your son now and that's the main thing.

I think that's often common when there is such stress and fear. Hug him. Don't be afraid to feed off of his strength.


How is your son recuperating?

WTF?!! I resent this statement! He is going out to work and of course i dont want him to lose his job but for gods sake, i only expected him to call in for a short while after/before work. A hug and reassuring word would have been enough. I stand by what i said about shouldnt have to ask him, he should (and does) know, but chose not to stand by me and support me. Just because he is a man does not give him a get out of jail free card. And as for the "hunter and provider", we are (supposed to be) a team, I work a hell of a lot more hours than him and I earn triple his wage so im really not sure where the "provider" thought come into it.

[Wakeup]

Fvuck him then. There's lots of good men out there right?
P.S. You took the hunter/provider term too literally.

to addI'll leave now and let you be miserable without disturbing that mind-set for you any longer. My apologies for trying to talk you out of feeling disappointed on top of fearful and worried for your son.

[vashti]

I really dont know how I feel, but i dont want to try and work out whats going on inside my head just yet.

Then don't. I don't see how you would have the energy to deal with your son's recovery and manage your stress and fatigue levels, all while trying to rationalize away whatever other feelings you have right now. There will be time later on to process everything.

[IndiReloaded]

Emotions go up, intellect goes down. How many times have I posted this Q?

You have more than enough on your plate, we know. Focus on your son don't add to your stress as has been said. But FWIW, I agree with Vash he's an idiot for not being there, what a jerk.

@ Wakeup - take a hint sometimes. There are things on this forum you aren't privy to and we've known Q for years. Your advice is often valuable, but it sometimes also makes you look like an idiot. This is one of the latter times. Let it go, your point is made.