i'm not AMAZING

[Asip4u]

I guess. Am I the jerk though or the nice guy? I dont get it.

Well only you know that...I don't know you personally so can't say...The nice guy vs jerk has to do with girls who say that they want to be with a nice guy, and all they keep doing is falling for guys who are player types...So if you're the player type, you'd be in the jerk category.

[whaywardj]

Disregarding that the thread has gotten WAY off the original issue brought up by the starting poster (guess it's turned into a new thread!), Asi and shh! seem pretty clear on what I meant to point at with my "some kind of love" remark in post #34. I find it very difficult to believe, OV, that anyone can possibly love a person and, at the same, "not give a damn about" about fundamental qualities of her personality and character. Maybe you were just being hyperbolic with the phrase and only meant to express how forgiving you are in love. On the other hand, someone who's in love with what they only imagine the other person is, or in love with only the idea of love, would also say something exactly like that. "Not giving a damn" permits such a person to not have to really look at the other person and to live blissfully in their illusions about them, utterly and completely out of touch with her realities. Kinda like being in love with your own navel.

[jay12]

I dont want to dash what you believe in OV. But to me it seems like everyone else here is right.

If you dont know someone/have never spoken to them, then you can only be in love with an illusion of what that person is like. In love with the idea of love, the romantic notions of what you believe love to be. How do you love them? What do you want to do with that person? If you only have imaginations of what that person is like, then what are the chances of them being spot on?

You may be right....love may be something that just picks people at random, but i certainly dont think that. But i used to when i was very inexperienced. To me love is a bond, how can u have a bond when no contact is all there is? Unless there are higher powers at work here.

I dont expect you to believe me...cos ive been there and nothing in the world can convince you your not in love.
Who knows what love is, for all i know your feelings could be stronger than anything i have felt, or maybe not.

I do know that romanticising about the illusions and ideas of love and focussing it upon one person you dont know aint gonna bring anyone any real happiness. How many times have we all had to distance ourselves from our feelings or do whatever to get over a lost love? Its just something you have to do, in order to keep on with our eternal hunt to find our soulmate....if you believe in that sort of thing.

[Only-virgins]

Disregarding that the thread has gotten WAY off the original issue brought up by the starting poster (guess it's turned into a new thread!), Asi and shh! seem pretty clear on what I meant to point at with my "some kind of love" remark in post #34. I find it very difficult to believe, OV, that anyone can possibly love a person and, at the same, "not give a damn about" about fundamental qualities of her personality and character. Maybe you were just being hyperbolic with the phrase and only meant to express how forgiving you are in love. On the other hand, someone who's in love with what they only imagine the other person is, or in love with only the idea of love, would also say something exactly like that. "Not giving a damn" permits such a person to not have to really look at the other person and to live blissfully in their illusions about them, utterly and completely out of touch with her realities. Kinda like being in love with your own navel.

Or it could be that "Fundamental qualities"(while still important to a relationship) have absolutly nothing to do with love. You people are confused. I never said I fantasize about what she is like or anything like that when in love with a person. I ask my-self what if I got to know the person and didnt like their personality qualities...would I still be in love with them?...I say yes.

If you dont know someone/have never spoken to them, then you can only be in love with an illusion of what that person is like. In love with the idea of love, the romantic notions of what you believe love to be. How do you love them? What do you want to do with that person? If you only have imaginations of what that person is like, then what are the chances of them being spot on?

I dont want to do anything with that person accept be with them and around them. I dont believe love to be anything, its not an act. Love is a emotional feeling and not a commitment or a attachment. Love is an emotion EVERYONE wants to feel and in your definition its not the case because I definitly dont need anymroe friends, companions, care takers, people to hang out with. I just need someone to love.

[jay12]

Fair enough man, i cant agree with ya, because ive once shared your view and now i dont - experiences have made me think otherwise.

Hey - who is this woman? (sorry if this is draggin up old topics) but why not try talking to her??

[whaywardj]

Omigod, OV. You don't believe love is an act?! If that's really tue, you ARE very much in your navel.

[Only-virgins]

Omigod, OV. You don't believe love is an act?! If that's really tue, you ARE very much in your navel.

Im in my what?

Fair enough man, i cant agree with ya, because ive once shared your view and now i dont - experiences have made me think otherwise.

Hey - who is this woman? (sorry if this is draggin up old topics) but why not try talking to her??

Im not trying to change your mind either.

I gave her a letter and she what seems like doesnt want to answer.

[AmIASleaze]

in responce to the title of this thread: I am!

[easilyinspired]

OV, what do u love about her so much?

[Only-virgins]

OV, what do u love about her so much?

Everything she does, the way she looks, I dont know...I love everything about her. Even the things I dont like about her I still like..it makes no sense...I know..but it just is.

[easilyinspired]

how old are u? and have u approached her prior to the letter?

[whaywardj]

Oooh! I get it. You don't mean you "don't care" about her habits, character, etc. You mean you "don't mind." Totally different thing. Apologies for misunderstanding. Everything else I said was based on that misunderstanding, so I take it all back.

Sounds like you got it bad. That could be good!

[artyemi]

Yea, but she's with someone else.

And didn't respond to his letter.

[artyemi]

And this is the case where I actually want something good to come out of it for OV.

[whaywardj]

Ooo. Then that could be bad. Eww! I HATE it when I get lovesick over someone I can't have.