What hope does a horrible person have?

[dontaskme]

For you woody, my favorite, we shall

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By cosmic joint, you don't mean the good joint, do you?

[Wasting Light]

Fine, I could've written my original post better. Happy now? I'm sorry that the way I wrote things out over time was oh so confusing. Pardon me for not being perfect at expressing my thoughts and feelings in a more concise manner, for you.

So you quoted something I wrote earlier in this topic. Good for you! I clearly wasn't trying to deny or hide the fact that I'm a difficult person. That's the whole reason I put that in my post, to begin with. I'm not happy or proud of the fact that I'm stubborn and set in my ways, but I was trying to get across from the start that I know I can be a bit of a difficult pain in the ass. It's not like I was hiding that fact and you unearthed some hidden truth. I specifically wrote that for a reason.

Again, you keep going on about how there have been so many suggestions that I've made excuses for. I've gone through this topic, and aside from the ones I talked about in my last post, I don't see all these suggestions and excuses you keep going on about. I've said it before, but I've tried everything I can possibly think of, in the past, to connect with people, which generally covers any suggestions I've gotten so far. I'm not trying to just write off anyone's suggestions just to be difficult, but in my mind, if I've already tried all of this stuff many times in the past, and have failed every single time, it doesn't really do me any good to hear the same suggestions.

What does one do when they've tried everything over and over and over again, but has failed every single time, no matter what? It wears you down to a point where it all feels hopeless, useless, because no matter what I do, failure is the only outcome. Not a "possible" outcome, but THE ONLY outcome.

[woody]

What does failure mean to you? What I mean is, when you fail, what does that entail? What happens?
and how does that make you feel?

Walks like a duck, talks like a duck, usually is a duck but not always. (I don't know where that came from, sorry)

I suppose what i'm getting at is uh, hell man, I've been there. I was so down and negative on the human race, on people in general. I'm still weary slightly. I moved towns. Got out of the woods and into new ones, new area and it made all the difference. The people here are welcoming, wonderful, kind and generally likeable. It was not like this back where I was all those years ago.
Man, are you sure its not just the area your living in? Remember when I said maybe its not you, its them. Could be something to that. I got ostracized. Maybe that's what's happening to you and people can be cruel lil buggers, especially when their in packs sometimes.

Without knowing more, like how you define failure and how that makes you feel, I cannot help you. But I would like to. WithLight, there are many good people around. Many. I hope this finds you well..

I hope you and dontaskme make up.

and could some one please tell me what a flippin troll is please? I might be one.

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For you woody, my favorite, we shall

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By cosmic joint, you don't mean the good joint, do you?

Indeed I do mean that. tee hee. Think I'll do the honours for all of us right now; it's a little early but i'm willing to take one for the team

[dontaskme]

In the massive galaxy called the universe, there is no such thing as "only outcome" but "infinite possibilities and outcomes".

Do you know a number that is between 0 and 1? ..... Infinity.... There is 0.00001, 0.00002, 0.01, 0.02, etc, you get the gist, right? So don't even think for a second that in this infinite universe, there could only be one outcome because if you do, then you are wrong.

Get help, professional help that is who is an objective person who can evaluate your behavior and tell you exactly where or what you are doing wrong that people are turned off by you. There's gotta be something there because I don't believe for a second that if someone is trying to be nice (which according to you, that's what you have tried to do in the past), you get all negative reactions from everybody. You must be emitting some kind of negative energy without you even realizing it.

Anyway, I promised sweet woody here that I am going to stop now because she wished me a cosmic "joint" that I can enjoy.

Good day to you, and you have Woody to thank dude

[Wasting Light]

and could some one please tell me what a flippin troll is please? I might be one.

A troll is someone who essentially posts for the sole purpose of annoying other people and being disruptive.

What does failure mean to you? What I mean is, when you fail, what does that entail? What happens?
and how does that make you feel?

In terms of connecting with people? To me, failing means being unsuccessful at having any kind of consistent relationship with a person. It doesn't always happen the same way, but people have always just been completely indifferent to me, no matter what I've done, no matter what efforts I've made. I've tried talking to people, I've tried getting to know people, I've tried making any kind of connection with people, and every single time, they show no interest and pull away from me as much as they can. And when I'm just more "aloof" and reserved, people just completely ignore and overlook me, period.

In the massive galaxy called the universe, there is no such thing as "only outcome" but "infinite possibilities and outcomes".

Do you know a number that is between 0 and 1? ..... Infinity.... There is 0.00001, 0.00002, 0.01, 0.02, etc, you get the gist, right? So don't even think for a second that in this infinite universe, there could only be one outcome because if you do, then you are wrong.

Get help, professional help that is who is an objective person who can evaluate your behavior and tell you exactly where or what you are doing wrong that people are turned off by you. There's gotta be something there because I don't believe for a second that if someone is trying to be nice (which according to you, that's what you have tried to do in the past), you get all negative reactions from everybody. You must be emitting some kind of negative energy without you even realizing it.

There may factually be "endless possibilities", but it sure doesn't feel like it, for me. When you live almost 30 years and fail every single time at connecting with people, without even the slightest bit of success, it becomes increasingly difficult to see anything else. What I've "learned" is that I never actually "learn", I never get better, I just fail again and again and again. And that makes me feel all kinds of bad.

If I could actually afford professional help, I'd give it a look, but I just don't have the money for it, my insurance doesn't cover it, and even if there are free or cheaper alternatives, I'm probably so beyond screwed up in the head that they wouldn't make a bit of difference, anyway.

[woody]

Hm. Well I'd say your hooped but I don't think you are. You didn't answer my question about the area you live in . I don't want to know the area of course, just wondering if its the town; meaning, are you being ganged up on? When you travel, have people been the same way towards you?

Hey, personally, I have only 4 true and genuine, real and wonderful friends that i've made over my life thus so far and my best friend who is my partner. It took 30 some odd years to find him and the others have been built up over the past 20 years and I see them rarely. Most live across the Globe. My point is, true friend/kinships are few and far between. True one's.
Perhaps you are being too hard on yourself.

I find it hard to believe that you could be so very down on yourself to be projecting such dire outlooks. You do know that the World around us is in significant part, a reflection of what we ourselves project/portray.

Please read that bloody book I suggested. I feel very strongly that it WILL help you. Get some fire in your belly.
Eat healthier foods. Become friends with an awesome K9 or CoolCat. Get yourself out of your normal element and into the World.

[surfhb]

Ok so assuming you're not a troll, what else do you want us to say?

You've refuted every single bit of advice with you're poor attitude on people, yourself and life in general.

[Wasting Light]

Hm. Well I'd say your hooped but I don't think you are. You didn't answer my question about the area you live in . I don't want to know the area of course, just wondering if its the town; meaning, are you being ganged up on? When you travel, have people been the same way towards you?

Hey, personally, I have only 4 true and genuine, real and wonderful friends that i've made over my life thus so far and my best friend who is my partner. It took 30 some odd years to find him and the others have been built up over the past 20 years and I see them rarely. Most live across the Globe. My point is, true friend/kinships are few and far between. True one's.
Perhaps you are being too hard on yourself.

I find it hard to believe that you could be so very down on yourself to be projecting such dire outlooks. You do know that the World around us is in significant part, a reflection of what we ourselves project/portray.

Please read that bloody book I suggested. I feel very strongly that it WILL help you. Get some fire in your belly.
Eat healthier foods. Become friends with an awesome K9 or CoolCat. Get yourself out of your normal element and into the World.

"Ganged up on" how? I feel more ignored and overlooked, rather than anyone actively trying to spite me or anything. That's pretty much how it is for me wherever I am. Although, at this point, I've gotten to a point where I barely even leave the house anymore except for commuting to and from work, and I never "travel". Not really sure the area I live is much of the problem, though. I think it's just me.

I'll see about buying a digital copy of that book, though I've never been much of a "book" kind of guy, so I don't know how far into it I'll get.

Ok so assuming you're not a troll, what else do you want us to say?

You've refuted every single bit of advice with you're poor attitude on people, yourself and life in general.

I don't know, I'm just frustrated and upset, and it just feels like it never gets better.

I ask again, when you've tried pretty much everything you can do to try to connect with people, and you've failed every time, what CAN you do?

[surfhb]

No you haven't tried everything!

We told you to seek therapy for a mental illness and receive care for it. Do that first

If you can't afford it there are several options. Look online

[Wakeup]

If y'all are so sure he's a troll then why are you feeding him?

Every time someone posts he gets more morsels to shit back out at ya.

[dontaskme]

^^^lol, you're right. He just trolled the shit out of us, harharhar!!!

[Wasting Light]

Sigh. It's really sad that I get labeled as a troll just because I have legitimate reasons for what I'm saying. What a jerk I am for not being able to magically give myself enough money to afford professional help, huh?

[woody]

I don't think your a troll.

I wish for you , h a p p i n e s s.....

[TablesandChairs]

There's no easy solution; you don't want to be as alone as you are. That's fair. You've isolated the issue. You want some companionship and in your frustration, you've deflected and labelled people as 'annoying' and 'stupid'. That doesn't solve your issue, though.

You mentioned you tried dating (whether online or through other means). What is it that went wrong? Is it your looks? If you're overweight and unkept, that can be addressed. Was your sense of humour lacking? That can also be addressed. How we come across, both physically and personality-wise, will affect who we attract. If we present ourselves as slobby, negative assholes with a dim outlook and more judgements than a legal hand-book, the only people we can hope to attract are those who no one else wants.

Change is hard. We're creatures of habit and when we get stuck in a rut, we get unhappily comfortable. A therapist, a self-help book...try these on as you would a pair of shoes. There's nothing to lose. Be open minded. You don't have to believe in it 100% but you also need to recognise that your own approaches haven't gotten you far.

Put it this way; there are over-weight people who will complain about their sluggish metabolisms and how they are 'genetically' predisposed to fatness and that gets them nowhere - it might be true, but it won't be making them any thinner. Then there are those who slog it out and the gym, change their diet and find that...hey, this actually works! In other words, try everything you can. You're only 30 and it'd be a sad outcome for you to spend the next 40+ years alone and bitter.

We don't know how you come across in person so it's difficult to give you an opinion - there are dating coaches who are pretty brutally honest if you have no one else who knows you and can give you an honest assessment.

I wish there was something more instant - like "eat this herb for 3 weeks and you'll be cured" - but like most issues in life, the solution is never that easy.

[Wasting Light]

You mentioned you tried dating (whether online or through other means). What is it that went wrong? Is it your looks? If you're overweight and unkept, that can be addressed. Was your sense of humour lacking? That can also be addressed. How we come across, both physically and personality-wise, will affect who we attract. If we present ourselves as slobby, negative assholes with a dim outlook and more judgements than a legal hand-book, the only people we can hope to attract are those who no one else wants.

When it comes to looks, I'd say I'm average. I'm not exactly some handsome ripped athletic guy, but at the same time, I'm not an overweight mess, either. Just... average. But I definitely try to take care of my general appearance and hygiene the best that I can.

I'm not really sure what "went wrong". Admittedly, I've not found myself being particularly attracted to very many girls to begin with. There was one time I was into a girl who was WAY out of my league, and she obviously wasn't interested, and looking back, I admit that was foolish of me to begin with. There was a girl fairly recently that I actually got along with extremely well, and I genuinely liked interacting with her, and she seemed much more interested in me than any female has ever been, so I thought I was good. When I actually asked her out, though, she said no, then she distanced herself from me and went on to have a series of failed relationships with "cool" overly macho guys that ended up being unfaithful to her, and I haven't seen her in quite a while at this point.

I've tried online dating a number of times, at the suggestion of acquaintances and just having read posts on forums from people with similar issues as my own. I find that the nature of online dating gives me too much leeway to be "picky", though, and I rarely found myself wanting to contact anyone. When I did write to girls, I would try to be nice and courteous and take some kind of interest in something they had written in their profile, yet I never got even a single reply from anyone.