What is she doing?

[dech302]

I feel for you bro, you already know my situation. Best thing to do is move on and don't let anyone especially me tell you what she is doing. The less you hear about her, the easier life becomes. Talk to as many women out there as possible. Sleep with as many as you want to if it makes you feel good, but try to focus on yourself. She will regret her decision one day and you will be the one that got away from her.

What it comes down to is, do you repect yourself? If you do? Then forget about her and concentrate on yourself (and new women, damn there are a lot of them!)

Don't forget about your kick boxing classes either, keep going!!!

[poweredbuyer]

So what ever happened to your EX in the end. Any further contact or regrets or even an apology?

Wow... and she called YOU controlling...

That is classic mind-games. She dumps you, but then is not sure so she goes overboard "living it up" to convince herself what a good, fun decision it was.

Which makes your normal, human reaction seem too good and right, so she goes out of her way to try and make you and your new life "inferior" to both herself, you, and everyone she can.

It's very immature, and believe me, pretty transparent to anyone who has been around the block a couple of times.

Trust me, deep down, she knows this stuff... but she's gone too far to go back now.

It's like my ex... at first she tried to convince everyone how evil I was... it even worked with a couple of people. Then, when the effect of that wore off, she went on a self-destructive rampage to show everyone how "happy" and "over me" she was. It's very sad, really...

[poweredbuyer]

I suppose the question in my mind is how she could not have ended a relationship in peace and understanding. Having me around on the shelf while playing the field is sick. Calling family friends being aggresive and desperate with guys. A game of two people wanting to ruin eachother after 5 years of being attached by the HIP. How can she erase all memories of me so quickly? ... I often wonder if she is over me by agreeing to cut contact but claiming "I want someone who loves me like you but has a life outside of me and I have a life outside of them" ... Basically I want you and Freedom to do what I want cause I am a selfish biatch. Anyhow I am movin on but disturbed that she doesn't even care to realize the way she ended this relationship. Makes it seem she is so mature when in reality she is acting like a frickin teenager calling every guy and asking them out. Quite sick actually. At least I dealt with it through therapy and learning what I want without jumping onto the next girl. I got my first Date tommorow after all this crap and I think I will be in a better position now that I have given myself time to heal.

Partying , Looking good and making it seem ur getting on with ur life being aggresive with guys ... how long does this last... do guys really want a clingy , aggresive girl? ...

Any advice is appreciated.

[Junsui]

Why are you still asking about this? There is no set time period for how long she might go out and do whatever it is you say she is doing to show you she is moving on. If you were truly moving on you would stop wondering why she ended the relationship the way she did. I'm sure she didn't just erase the memories quickly and is probably still trying to get over the good and the bad ones.

[boognish]

So what ever happened to your EX in the end. Any further contact or regrets or even an apology?

Last I heard she went from putting on lesbian live-action porn shows for crack in dealer's homes... to marrying a guy I've heard is a complete moron... with tatoos of bullet-holes on his fore-head and one of a giant penis... on his thigh... or maybe it was his arm... I can't remember.

She also lived in what I've heard is the most disgusting apartment on earth (literally dozens of pets that have free reign to crap on the floor) and was pregnant with her second child.

As for an apology... I didn't need it. Laughing and saying thank.god.I.got.rid.of...that was enough

Also... yeah... you need to let go. She doesn't owe you an apology, you're no longer an important factor in her life.

However, you owe it to yourself to forget about her. If all you've said is true, how you could even give her a second thought... or waste a moment of your life interacting with her MYSTIFIES me. Have some pride, hanging on for this mythical apology/time reversal/remorse that's obviously never going to happen is just another way to justify clinging to the past. You should not even CARE what she says/thinks/does.

[Junsui]

wow lol, y'all date some messed up people

[boognish]

wow lol, y'all date some messed up people

lol, to be fair she was only mildly messed up when she was with me... never did anything like that anyway.

I was a teenager at the time and was just excited to be "getting some"

However, it did not take long after moving in together to realize how incredibly stupid and attention-whorish she was. Everything from banging her head against the wall, to bawling for no reason, to a gradual break-down in personal hygeine :-/

Her first responses after I broke it off:
"Well... can we still have sex?"
No.
"Can we still sleep in the same bed?"
No.
"The same room?"
...I don't think that's a good idea, no.
"...OK, how about just a kiss before I go to work?"
...no.
"A hug?"
..... sure... friends can hug.
"GOOD!"

It was definitely one of those, "How the hell did I stand somebody this dumb for so long?" moments

[RuntimeError]

Well I will tell you how you could stand a moron like that for soo many years, you were "in Love" (infatuated).

Just a comment in putting blame on the ex, I did it for a long time, but you are responsible for your own actions. So say for example you walking in on your girl, "soul mate" or whatever screwing someother dude, I mean doing kinky shit she wouldn't do with you, just being a total freak.

NOW STOP!!

Right there YOU have two choices, knock the guys f***ing block off, smack the trap, throw chairs and break shit or two you can choose to just let the energy be there, let it go and pass and deal with it. You see it is not that she made you do that, you chose to react this way becasue you couldn't handle the energy that the universe delt to you. Now I am not saying that you can stop your feelings but you can choose they way you react to them.

Now, I am not perfect and I don't know if I could implement this fully as well, but I sure as hell would be very proud of my self if I could. To have total control of your emotions and react accordingly is just something amazing, that I don't think alot of people have a grasp of. And actually a bad reaction is better then no reaction in the eyes of your mate, in my opion.

Take this girl and make a lesson out of her, learn as much as you can, practice on her let her tell you all this shit about other guys and let your self feel this energy, I mean if you can get this skill down, you'll be golden.

[pariank]

You guys know this feels somewhat like my situation right now. I was just too vague in my descriptions. My ex started dating guys while we were supossedly dating. So she was ready to break up with me because shes got somebody new. Thats what distrubed me the most. I did hope that she would have atleast broken up properly(this sickens me). She would say that she cares about me, but deep down inside I know that shes does not. She calls me selfish for being hurt and wanting her back(it just feels like she threw the last three years in the trash). She dosen't really see how she's selfish on her side. Argg!!!
This is getting me so mad now.

Ohhh Yeah she'd call me immature too and thats she's way too mature for me. When she's the one whose now acting immature.

I'm not expecting anything from my ex anymore I'm done with it. Football game tonights better than dealing with this c**p.

I feel for you as I'm going through the same thing.

[pariank]

wow lol, y'all date some messed up people

Never dating the sweet looking one's again.

[Mish]

"Mishanya, Any more insight perhaps to this?" and "Yes I am dating someone else and having sex" by poweredbuyer

Okay. I don't think you need anymore advice at this point. You have clearly moved on, now you should stop concerning yourself with your ex. What's done is done, she can do whatever she wants. She is now just another person and you shouldn't have any more concerns about her (Just like you wouldn't have any more concerns for what your fourth grade teacher is doing now with her life).

I don't think you should bother thinking about any second chances at this point. She was the one who wanted the breakup, so at least you can comfort yourself with the fact that you had no choice in the matter.

Hope above helps!!!

"It doesnt because love from only one perspective does not happen. When the chemical in the brain is released for infatuation(love) it is stimulated in both humans that feel it for each other. If you dis-agree I think it might be because you have some different(goofy) idea of what love is like some emotional spending time crap...and if so dont bother because I am open minded but not stupid." by OV

OV, I wasn't discussing the definition of love or what love is. I was discussing the fact that love can be complicated and simply showed some examples. But since you are getting all scietific then (in you language) what if the chemical in the brain is not released in the same way for both parties or released at different times? I think around this mark the simple concept starts to get complicated...

I think you completely missed the point my friend

[poweredbuyer]

Mishanya,

I have not moved on completely. dating someone else and having sex doesn't mean I don't think about my EX. The problem is I "Do" all the time ... but I am bettering myself for my future and the more girls I see the better I feel.

Last night I went out with this one girl who was "AWESOME" ... had such a nice night we had dinner and coffee in the car just talking ... at the end of the night I got a simple hug but I could totally tell from the signs she was into me a bit ... I sent her a text message saying "I had a good time, good night sweet dreams" ... now its a waiting game to see if she contacts ... I guess I gotta get used to the dating seen again and play it by ear ... Should I wait for her to call or is this how it works takes a while in the beggining ... a game perhaps ... lol .... need some help on dating ...

[boognish]

Mishanya,

I have not moved on completely. dating someone else and having sex doesn't mean I don't think about my EX. The problem is I "Do" all the time ... but I am bettering myself for my future and the more girls I see the better I feel.

Last night I went out with this one girl who was "AWESOME" ... had such a nice night we had dinner and coffee in the car just talking ... at the end of the night I got a simple hug but I could totally tell from the signs she was into me a bit ... I sent her a text message saying "I had a good time, good night sweet dreams" ... now its a waiting game to see if she contacts ... I guess I gotta get used to the dating seen again and play it by ear ... Should I wait for her to call or is this how it works takes a while in the beggining ... a game perhaps ... lol .... need some help on dating ...

Wait a couple days and then ask her out for lunch. After lunch ask her out for a night this weekend.

At least that seems natural to me... I've never really "dated"... just sort of "fell into" relationships, lol.

[Mish]

"I have not moved on completely. dating someone else and having sex doesn't mean I don't think about my EX." by poweredbuyer

I think you have to becareful here. I know that when your relationship suddnely ends you get this feeling of an uncaged animal inside of you, all you want to do is run around and be with other women. However, this a very self destructive feeling, because sleeping/dating an x number of random women really stops you from developing a relationship with either one and destroys your chances with them in the future. It also stops you from growing and maturing yourself, because you are not learning anything new (Just rehashing the past experience).

My advice to you, is if you haven't moved on yet take some time out for yourself until you are completely healed. If you feel like you are on the verge of moving on and will not still have feelings for your ex once in a new relationship then pick one, just ONE girl and continue building a relationship with her.

I know this is not easy. 3 years is a long time, you will still have some feelings, there will still be memories etc. But unfortunately the hard way is the only way forward. It is also the only way you can learn more about yourself...

Hope above helps!!!

[misombra]

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