Club Team Effort Suggestions

[vashti]

But whats the reason for wanting to look more desirable than the women in the group? .

I don't know. It doesn't really apply to the people I associate with.

[GrkScorp]

Honestly, sometimes I wonder what kind of women you associate with, they must be either total bitches or just plain stupid. Either that, or you just underestimate women on the whole.

Not really.. sure, it may seem like they all fall somewhere between those two types.. but that's because most of the women I interact with aren't 30+ years old.. the clock isn't ticking for them.. so they still have the luxury of their strech-mark-free-silky-smooth-perfectly-toned skin, perky breasts, firm butt, perfect body form, sexy legs, and all the other blessings of youth.. to afford them the bliss and "dreamer" state needed to think they'll meet the perfect man on the beach or in their yoga classes, or walking down the street.. blah blah.. and that they're "not looking for a guy, ever".. and that they "don't need a guy"..

Underestimate women? No, I actually overestimate, constantly, and end up disappointed each time.. But I guess as 30's start to creep in, and the thought of growing old, single, with no kids, no husband, alone, creep in.. they snap out of their fantasy-land.. and fall into reality.. there's a gray line, that marks the transition from immature to mature, from girl to woman.. and the "women" I interact with, for the most part, haven't crossed it yet; though many think they have..

Not to imply that 30's are unattractive.. i've met two women fairly recently in their 30's.. it's just a different appeal.. i'm a little biased, because from my point of view, older women just want a younger guy for sex, and only for sex.. But on the plus side, are more secure and aware of themselves in relation to younger girls.. And the first give-away of that is less being fake, less game-playing, and just more being natural and doing what they want to do without feeling inhibited..

But in the end, girls are girls, and no matter how old, there are some things that just never change..

[IndiReloaded]

Actually it's very rare to hear compliments to guys from women, they aren't as open to strangers as guys.

I think there's a problem here tho Mish you may not be aware of. Perhaps it more a problem that comes a bit older than you are but I have learned to be very careful about giving compliments to men. Its gotten me in trouble in the past. Its happened at work, in my social activities, where a simple compliment is misconstrued by a male as a sign of interest & I end up with what my husband calls 'my gentleman admirers'. I think a lot of older women run into this problem.

Its a question of boundaries, of course. And it can be cute & flattering. But honestly, it gets tiresome sometimes having to make and set the limits all the time. So a lot of women, like myself, learn to simply avoid giving too many compliments to males esp if they seem lonely or needy. Its a shame, in some respects.

[Mish]

So a lot of women, like myself, learn to simply avoid giving too many compliments to males esp if they seem lonely or needy. Its a shame, in some respects.

I know what you mean Indi. And I respect that ofcourse.

Can just be, tiring for guys as well. To constantly find ways to give that positive energy with less chance of getting any of it back. It can be tiring being expected to be a constant source of entertainment to strangers you approach.

[vashti]

Mish - I compliment males NOW (when it seems appropriate). I didn't do it in my 20s though, because that was like begging for trouble. Most young males misconstrue compliments as having some deeper meaning. I mean, if you guys think that simply going out dancing with the girls means you *really* want a stupid, sweaty, aggressive guy to relentlessly hit on you all night, what would it mean to you if we admitted we liked your shoes?

[Mish]

Mish - I compliment males NOW (when it seems appropriate). I didn't do it in my 20s though, because that was like begging for trouble. Most young males misconstrue compliments as having some deeper meaning.

A lot of guy's compliments have deeper meanings, we just logically assume the same as well

[Gribble]

You know, it is rare that a guy gets complimented. It never really occurred to me. But why would a guy want compliments, anyway? That big radiant smile a woman flashes when you say just the right thing, that's worth far more than anything she could ever say. Mmm. And when her cheeks flush and she drops her eyes shyly...

You know what? The reason I can't commit is simply because I love all women. Well, the attractive ones, anyway.

[vashti]

Gribble is so yummy.

[IndiReloaded]

I know what you mean Indi. And I respect that ofcourse.

Can just be, tiring for guys as well. To constantly find ways to give that positive energy with less chance of getting any of it back. It can be tiring being expected to be a constant source of entertainment to strangers you approach.

I'm just trying to give you an alternate hypothesis, Mish. I'm married, and therefore obviously attached, and I still find it can be a problem if I'm not careful (and I'm certainly not the flirty type). So, I can only imagine how much more difficult it would be for an attractive gal who was actually single & just wanting to be friendly. Having to constantly be 'on guard' that any gesture of friendliness towards a guy be interpreted as more than simply that.

Not sure how that helps you tho, except to be aware you might be working against that kind of mentality.

[Mish]

You know, it is rare that a guy gets complimented. It never really occurred to me. But why would a guy want compliments, anyway? That big radiant smile a woman flashes when you say just the right thing, that's worth far more than anything she could ever say. Mmm. And when her cheeks flush and she drops her eyes shyly...

I admit, that's better than a compliment. Provided the girl actually gives that reaction. Not look at you like you are the lowest slime ball on earth that she's about to crush with her heel.

I guess saying the right thing at the right time is a challenge we guys kinda just get used to.

[Gribble]

There's an art to complimenting. Women get catcalls all the time. If you introduce yourself and engage in a little friendly conversation before saying something you mean in earnest she'll generally take it well. And if she doesn't, hey, you've just saved yourself a lot of time dealing with an uptight bitch.

[IndiReloaded]

That big radiant smile a woman flashes when you say just the right thing, that's worth far more than anything she could ever say. Mmm.

Ah, smiling. Yes, that's the other problem. Almost as good as a compliment, that, for a male response.

What I'd like are those force bubbles like in a McMaster Bujold book. If I was single again, I'd only decloud my bubble briefly for those males who I was actually interested in. Sort of a reversible burka, but you could actually wear fashionable clothing underneath for your own pleasure & noone would know unless you wanted them too.

[Gribble]

Bah. You sound like a militant dyke, Indi.

[IndiReloaded]

If you're trying to goad for a pic its not going to work.

Why militant, Grib. Do you know the book I'm talking about?

[Mish]

If I was single again,

That's a conflicting statement Indi and you know it. There are no ifs about it. You'd only be single long enough for me to find you and lock you in my cave.