How to Have Perfect Sex

[damoclesjones]

Okay, fellow smartasses. I'm off to the airport to pick up my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in two months, and have some of that perfect sex.

Hopefully, I'll be able (or keen) to understand just what the hell DJ is on about the next time I log on.

Now, everyone go have sex!

Okay... See if this happens. It might not, but see. You have outstanding ****-sex, ejaculating all over the place. Great. But then, the next day, perhaps the day after, you feel a sense of unease, a vague distance between you, perhaps over-irritation - in short dissatisfied. This is the usual result of non-perfect sex masquerading as perfect.

[TDurden]

You're right, I do feel farely certain that I've got you pegged, but I might not. So if you are in fact different, prove it. Give me some practical advice and prove that you aren't as arrogant and single minded as you come off as. I'm not a complete ass so please don't assume that I won't listen to what you have to say.

[King Zarathu]

You're right, I do feel farely certain that I've got you pegged, but I might not. So if you are in fact different, prove it. Give me some practical advice and prove that you aren't as arrogant and single minded as you come off as. I'm not a complete ass so please don't assume that I won't listen to what you have to say.

Uh oh, TDirty is going to give it to you!

[damoclesjones]

Okay. Please

a. Read, and ideally reread, what follows slowly. Don't skim over it as you would an advert. What follows is new information, if you read it quickly the old brain might fill in what is missed with prejudice.

b. Be careful of how you interpret the words I use. Some words I use in an original (i.e. very old) way. I have tried to make clear when I do this, but my capacity to express myself is limited (as you've discovered), and there are omissions - so if anything strikes you as utterly ridiculous or insane, please check and ask me how I am defining the key concept it refers to.

Thanks.

Now, I've decided to leave the practical advice you ask for until later. I can't give practical advice until I've explained a few basic concepts, given a few linguistic tools, and worked out if you are really interested in knowing more.

So.

The self, or "me", is made up of physical sensations (the five senses of the body), vibic emotions (feelings, intuitions, psychic states) and mentation (ideas, thoughts, memories, hopes, beliefs, etc). This self I therefore refer to as the mind-body-vibe vehicle. The problem almost everyone has is that they confuse the vehicle for who I really am. I (and DJ means the I reading these words of course, not the I writing them) am the observing presence. I am that which is aware of the vehicle.

This awareness is extremely rare, and when it does occur it is mistaken for just more vehicle activity. What people normally call "awareness" is just mentation based on sensation or something similarly vehicular. The true observing-presence awareness DJ is talking about here is always an extraordinary moment; time seems to slow down, colours become more vivid, and there is a sense of magic.

Times when it might have happened include - witinessing a terrible disaster, witnessing an extrardinarily beautiful and unexpected (and usually natural) scene, suddenly "connecting" with someone in a mysterious ways (like you seem to be speaking each other's thoughts), and so on. You are thrown out of vehicular habit, emotion and thought into awareness of the pure present moment. In moments like these you touch the observing presence.

Time and space - aka "distance" - do not exist in the observing presence. Neither does fear, desire, attachment, hope, belief or anything else that posits the existence of something outside the present moment and then reacts to it. Thus, when I am being the observing presence there is the sensation of timelessness (eternity), spacelessness (integration) and - without all the human time-and-space-predicated emotions - pure love.

Practical advice on dealing with the world and learning to become that which I already am is incomprehensible and useless without understanding the above, so please ask me any specific questions you like to make sure it is clear. As I am referring to something outside your memory, emotions and sensations it would seem to be impossible to understand, but the structure above is, I believe, more or less intelligible. The thing is, it refers to something that is not intelligible in the normal way - something you might only vaguely feel right at the moment, or perhaps distantly recall, like a childhood paradise or very fundamental yearning for something you just can't name.

All problems in sex are magnifications of the problems one experiences in life - aka mistaking the vehicle for the true I. When one inhabits the vehicle completely, one is the vehicle. The vehicle therefore is not being instructed by the creative generous and beautiful intelligence of life (as it comes through I) buy by the vehicle itself. Thus the messages it recieves are "attack, defend, get security, get pleasure..." all the things you can read about in modern genetic biology.

To approach practical advice as it relates to sex, one has, finally to understand the difference between men and women. What is the difference between how men and women see the world?

There are two answers to this question.

One answer, the common answer, is very useful, but if it is all you know it will get you in a lot of trouble. It is this: Men are programmed by their genes to spread their sperm as widely as possible in the fittest (most fertile and healthy) female bodies. and women are programmed by their genes to select the sperm of the fittest (strongest or most intelligent) man, and to be looked after while the child grows up. The result of this genetic programming is that, firstly, men tend to want to have sex with lots of different women and women tend not to; secondly, that women are a lot more careful about who they have sex with; thirdly, that men like fertile healthy women and women like strong capable men; fourthly, that, motivated by the hormones that drive them towards these biological aims, testosterone-influenced men are easily addicted to conflict and eostrogen-influenced women are easily addicted to drama, and finally, men tend to be intellectually biased and women tend to be emotionally biased.

All of this then is the fact. It accurately fits the discoveries of science, and can be seen everywhere. If you want to, and understand how to, you can use it to get sex, attention or dependency.

Let’s look at the other answer.

Women are capable, practical and understand how life works, yet at the same time they are unpredictable, wild and mysterious. They can detect the subtle truth of what is really going on in a situation, and do the right thing. There is something elusive in them that is pure and awe-inspiringly beautiful. Men are also practical and intelligent, but they are creative in a different way and their authority is more obvious. Men can be courageous, creative, uniquely characterful and resistant to false emotion and doubt. There is something subtle in them which is noble and extraordinarily inspiring.

The reason why these descriptions are vague and general (and in an individual person they might not apply at all) is because this second way of looking at men and women looks at the principle, or the essence, of masculinity and femininity. This, unlike the first answer, cannot be scientifically described. Rather it is felt, deeply, or “just known”.

If you look at the difference between the unpredictable playfulness of a young girl and the absorbing impulsiveness of a young boy, or the difference between a beautiful and passionate young women and a strong and sensitive young man, or the difference between a kind and wise old man and a graceful loving old woman – you might understand what I mean by essence.

This second difference between men and women is more accurate and true than the first answer, but it is harder to see or feel, especially in the modern world, and so many people don’t realise it. But if you want to, and if you understand how to, you can use it to “get” the most wonderful experience of adventure, creativity, love and beauty that is possible in life.

And I still haven't got to the "practical advice".

Well the more all this interests you, the more you yearn to be a real man or woman. And to do this, you have to learn to be the observing I - the essential creative self.

Do you yearn? Does all this sound interesting, vital, strange and new? If so, you'll want to understand more. Let me know, and then, when we've cleared this up, we can move onto sex, worry, fear and other practical problems.

[vashti]

Did you copy, cut and paste that?

[damoclesjones]

I directly lasered it onto the screen with my third eye before shooting up into a little strobing blue ball and flying out the window.

[King Zarathu]

lol...see that's the kind of sarcasm that people find comforting.

I do have a few points/questions about your post, but I'll compile them later.

MY ANUS IS BLEEDING

[Kiechi]

MY ANUS IS BLEEDING

How many times do I have to say sorry?!

[Junket]

Okay... See if this happens. It might not, but see. You have outstanding ****-sex, ejaculating all over the place. Great. But then, the next day, perhaps the day after, you feel a sense of unease, a vague distance between you, perhaps over-irritation - in short dissatisfied. This is the usual result of non-perfect sex masquerading as perfect.

I like my milkshakes thin, more milk than ice cream. Preferably made with Breyer's Vanilla Bean ice cream and whole milk and just a bit of homemade whipped cream on top.

That is a recipe for true bliss.

But few people agree with me on that.

You get me yet?

[TDurden]

DJ

about the first 40% of your post was information I hadn't heard before, however the rest was, believe it or not, nothing new. It does sounds like you're not as full of shit as I originally thought, however I'm still waiting on the practical advice and application part to come in.

[damoclesjones]

Not yet. You have to give a little too TDurden.

[damoclesjones]

Mr Frasbee,

The majority of your posts are vulgar, violent or sarcastic. Your avatar is ugly and angular. The picture at the bottom of your posts is crude, and your signature is aggressive and posturing. Are you sure you wouldn't be happier here...

[url]http://www.hateforum.com/[/url]

[King Zarathu]

Holy shit! I'm registering there without hesitation!

[Junket]

Mr Frasbee,

The majority of your posts are vulgar, violent or sarcastic. Your avatar is ugly and angular. The picture at the bottom of your posts is crude, and your signature is aggressive and posturing. Are you sure you wouldn't be happier here...

[url]http://www.hateforum.com/[/url]

The majority of my posts are not vulgar, however I will not deny they can be uncomfortably direct and sarcastic. Then again, your elitist attitude towards people here can be equally percieved as offensive.

My avatar is currently beyond your understanding. The picture in my signature is an inside joke only some half understand. And no, you're not in on it.

Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems you misunderstood my question, as I was not asking for you to chastise my avatar or my signature. It looks as though I may have confused you when I said "Do you get me yet?" I was really asking "Do you understand the message I'm trying to get across?". I suppose that kind of slang is not familiar to you.

No, I do not know if I would be happier at hateforum, but I do not attend this forum because of it's title, I continue to come here because I've developed a fairly close circle of friends. But it seems as though you are not adapting well to this social atmosphere...are you sure you wouldn't be more at home at [url]http://forums.philosophyforums.com/[/url] ?

EDIT: Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me about my signature, it's been in need of a change for a few weeks now.

[King Zarathu]

Mr Frasbee,

The majority of your posts are vulgar, violent or sarcastic. Your avatar is ugly and angular. The picture at the bottom of your posts is crude, and your signature is aggressive and posturing. Are you sure you wouldn't be happier here...

[url]http://www.hateforum.com/[/url]

Furthermore, it's cute that you have to resort to personal insults that have little to nothing to do with anything factual or true. His signature is aggressive and posturing? Hate forum? Are you ****ing stupid?

It would be much better if you could actually prove his idiocy instead of bitching about it like a complete moron who needs to clean the lint out from between his asscheeks while he sits there arguing with everybody about why Bush needs to be given yet another term.

Kill yourself.