I will give this one more try.
You are acting very very very desperate, and that reeks of pity and loathing. Women hate this, and despise you for it.
Here is what you should have done, read this as many times as it takes to set in.
She told you about the ex in the car. You were mad and lost your cool. You should have asked nicely to pull over, and as you got out, say in a very James Bond tone, "I think I will walk from here, I need to digest this". Staying calm and collected.
DON'T CALL HER OR CONTACT HER, LET HER CALL YOU.
She calls, NOT A CHILDISH TEXT MESSAGE OR EMAIL, OR WHATEVER, AN ACTUAL VOICE FROM A HUMAN, THEN YOU PICK UP AND SPEAK TO HER.
And you should have said this:
"Look, I have been thinking, you need some time, whatever. I am not sure how I want to proceed, and I will think this over. Call me when you are ready to talk and leave me a message, and I will phone you back when and if I am interested in working this out".
Now, you have the locus of control, she does to an extent, but you also in a very nice way told her to take all the time she needs, and you are moving on with your life with or without her.
And then YOU DON'T CALL HER, TEXT HER, EMAIL, YAHOO, SMOKE SIGNALS, NOTHING, until she contacts you (by message, as you said) and lets you know how she feels. Then you can decide if you will take her back.
Not this.
Huh, please, I love you, I need you, I will eat the peanuts out of your crap, what can I do, you want more time, how much, call me anytime, I am here for you, can I help mow your lawn, need some money, do you still love me,
BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Women loath this behavior from men, they will not tell you this; it is a state secret with them. I am telling you.
Here is a good story.
I dated a drop dead gorgeous women in college. She had all kinds of "guy" friends that would hang around like lap dogs. They would buy here things, trim her yard, fix her car, listen to girl talk, whatever.
She moved one day and had about 10 guys there to help her. I could not make it. Some cut class, skipped work, whatever. I was not about to drop my schedule on a days notice to help her, if she needed my help on such a large project she should have asked me at least a few days in advance.
But at the end of the day, that night, after the move, guess who she called to come over and spend the night in the new place????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????
Sound of crickets.
ME.
Like Hayward says speak less and listen more.
I listened to what she would say. She would tell me in almost code, that she loathed spineless men. She thanked all involved for their help, but inside she knew what lengths they went to for her. Although flattered, she did not respect it.
Here is something to take to heart.
Women don't like to be fixed or told how to fix their life, they know how. JUST BE AN EAR AND LISTEN.
This problem you have may be fixable. But you have to stop contacting her in any way. If she loves you, and wants you, she will let you know.
HEY I'M A PILOT
HEY LLOYD, I'm a pilot