What are some things we do that you hate?

[MaidenMinx]

Vampiress, for future reference here's what I have learnt. When my hubby asks what is wrong and I think about saying nothing I take a deep breath and I say "I haven't found my words yet. Please bear with me while I figure it out" That way he knows yes there is something wrong, but I need a minute to figure out if I'm having a knee jerk reaction or there is a genuine concern. If I've had a knee jerk reaction I can approach him later and say something to the effect of "I misinterpreted (such and such event) and had a reaction. It's all good now". If I have a genuine concern, I will make sure he has the time and space to hear me and I will tell him exactly what upset me, but in a calm matter. HIA had a great link once to an article on I messages. Still learning how to use them properly but practice makes perfect (I learnt about effective communication at a parenting course and realised that I was getting a life lesson not just a parenting lesson.)

[HeartIsAching]

Vampiress, for future reference here's what I have learnt. When my hubby asks what is wrong and I think about saying nothing I take a deep breath and I say "I haven't found my words yet. Please bear with me while I figure it out" That way he knows yes there is something wrong, but I need a minute to figure out if I'm having a knee jerk reaction or there is a genuine concern. If I've had a knee jerk reaction I can approach him later and say something to the effect of "I misinterpreted (such and such event) and had a reaction. It's all good now". If I have a genuine concern, I will make sure he has the time and space to hear me and I will tell him exactly what upset me, but in a calm matter. HIA had a great link once to an article on I messages. Still learning how to use them properly but practice makes perfect (I learnt about effective communication at a parenting course and realised that I was getting a life lesson not just a parenting lesson.)

I think this is the one I posted before: [url=http://www.humanpotentialcenter.org/Articles/IStatements.html]I-Statements[/url]

[rafterman]

Women have painfull shopping habits. Men go to the shop, find what their looking for,purchase and then come home.Women patrol every store, every rack,every shelf scanning every item, make impulsive purchases and 12 hours later return home with a very worn out credit card and mentally shattered boyfriend.

[MaidenMinx]

Women have painfull shopping habits. Men go to the shop, find what their looking for,purchase and then come home.Women patrol every store, every rack,every shelf scanning every item, make impulsive purchases and 12 hours later return home with a very worn out credit card and mentally shattered boyfriend.

I have found a way to deal with this so hubby doesn't feel so bad. Firstly I do the grocery shopping on my own. I hate it too but it works out cheaper if I do it by myself. Second, when hubby needs something new, eg clothes, I go and do all the hunting first. If he doesn't need to try it on and it's a simple purchase I get it for him. If he does need to try things on I find out what and where and who has the best bargains. Then I sit him down and tell him how many stores we are going to, what order we are going to them in and what he is expected to try on where. If he has any complaints he airs them then. Then I drag him and my son from shop to shop getting everything done promptly. After that I take him for a beer, and our son has a lemonade and a few laps on sega rally. By the time we get home everyone feels like we have had a good day.

If I want to browse and try on crap and be girly, I'll do that with my female friends (or my mum. :p )

[rafterman]

I have found a way to deal with this so hubby doesn't feel so bad. Firstly I do the grocery shopping on my own. I hate it too but it works out cheaper if I do it by myself. Second, when hubby needs something new, eg clothes, I go and do all the hunting first. If he doesn't need to try it on and it's a simple purchase I get it for him. If he does need to try things on I find out what and where and who has the best bargains. Then I sit him down and tell him how many stores we are going to, what order we are going to them in and what he is expected to try on where. If he has any complaints he airs them then. Then I drag him and my son from shop to shop getting everything done promptly. After that I take him for a beer, and our son has a lemonade and a few laps on sega rally. By the time we get home everyone feels like we have had a good day.

If I want to browse and try on crap and be girly, I'll do that with my female friends (or my mum. :p )

^this is why your husband is happyly married to you.

[Jolicoeur]

I also hate that, when we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, some women automatically interpret it the bad way.

[Yet another guy]

And sometimes they refuse to accept your real meaning after you've corrected your mistake.

[Jolicoeur]

As if we went out of our way to deliberately hurt them.

[MaidenMinx]

That's where trust comes in guys. A gal will get past a badly worded phrase when she can trust completely that you have her best interest at heart.

[Jolicoeur]

That's where trust comes in guys. A gal will get past a badly worded phrase when she can trust completely that you have her best interest at heart.

Sometimes yes. But some girls sometimes get in a melancholy mood, and like to believe that they are being hurt on purpose. 'Like' in the sense that they want it.

[MaidenMinx]

^this is why your husband is happyly married to you.

It also helps that my mum is an avid TV watcher and long ago told me that according to some study or another mens blood pressure actually rises when being dragged around shopping centres. I don't know if it's true or not, but I'll err on the side of a caution.

[MaidenMinx]

Sometimes yes. But some girls sometimes get in a melancholy mood, and like to believe that they are being hurt on purpose. 'Like' in the sense that they want it.

personally when I have gotten in that melancholy mood I am more trying to sort out how I feel. If a woman assumes something incorrectly and has an emotional response to that assumption, just saying 'no I meant this' doesn't erase the emotional response immediately. Basically, you need to clarify yourself before the emotional response can occur, and if she is already emotional, choose your words with care.

[rafterman]

It also helps that my mum is an avid TV watcher and long ago told me that according to some study or another mens blood pressure actually rises when being dragged around shopping centres. I don't know if it's true or not, but I'll err on the side of a caution.

Your mother is right.

[Incognito]

I hate the way some women say that they don't need to be in control, but prove otherwise through their actions and speech. I also hate the way we are treated because we aren't as emotional. If I look at a situation from a logical perspective I shouldn't be penalized because I genuinely don't understand the relevance of emotion in that situation.

[vashti]

I hate the way men categorize me into "nice girl", which seems to be code word for "sucker".