Vampiress, for future reference here's what I have learnt. When my hubby asks what is wrong and I think about saying nothing I take a deep breath and I say "I haven't found my words yet. Please bear with me while I figure it out" That way he knows yes there is something wrong, but I need a minute to figure out if I'm having a knee jerk reaction or there is a genuine concern. If I've had a knee jerk reaction I can approach him later and say something to the effect of "I misinterpreted (such and such event) and had a reaction. It's all good now". If I have a genuine concern, I will make sure he has the time and space to hear me and I will tell him exactly what upset me, but in a calm matter. HIA had a great link once to an article on I messages. Still learning how to use them properly but practice makes perfect (I learnt about effective communication at a parenting course and realised that I was getting a life lesson not just a parenting lesson.)
'People are never perfect but love can be. People waste time looking for the perfect lover rather than creating the perfect love' - Princess Leigh-Cheri from Still Life With Woodpecker.