marriage age

[Chimeros0]

Think after marriage OV.

When you buy a new house,etc. It could be a joint purchase in which case you "share" the asset(s).
This is most times the case as 2 people can afford a deal on a house,where as one person can't ( unless he/she is a millionaire & they can pay in cash ).

Takes a little imagination or experience depending on your age & status...

[Only-virgins]

Then again when you live alone you don't need such big house either right? My parents did that, they bought a 500k house and lets say they split the bill. I can then get one that is 250k myself...should be fine for a single person. Anyways, just cause you do it alone doesn't mean you have to pay cash.

Anyways, what the hell dude? There is a shat load of people saying that you have to be independent and self reliant completely before considering marriage...you are saying you need a person to split the bill. Which is it people?!

[Chimeros0]

Dammit OV,thats just a possible positive outlook on marriage in legal terms.

If your going to be single,then you have it made in the shade...
If you get married,things get complicated & some tension is eased...
Banks are partial to married couples ( 2 people making money & paying a debt is better then 1 ).
They can apply for loans with greater ease then your average single person & get the necessary "goods".
When the wife gets pregnant,you have to move to a bigger house with more room for the kids.
This all leads to the issue of sharing assets & responsibility.

The real issue is:What do you want to be left with when you divorce each other?
If you have enough backups & financial stability,you can do whatever you want & survive.You could even try to make the marriage "work".

So,when getting married,you better make damned sure that she/he signs a ante nuptial contract upon marriage or when you split up,your screwed!

[Junket]

The mindset seems to be marriage=divorce.

Why get married if you're just gonna get divorced?

Yeah people change, when aren't people gonna change? Like that all stops after 25?

It's not just that people jump into marriage too quickly, but they bail just as quickly as well. Where's the effort?

We choose our partners, as we choose our friends. How easily do you go through friends? Friends I'd never think I'd stop hanging out with, I have lost interest in staying in contact with. Marriage, unlike friendships require a higher degree of commitment.

The bonds I shared with my AmeriCorps team (which was chosen for me) easily rivals my bonds with my chosen friends. When things got tough with a project, or with my team, I always had the choice to leave. But I stuck around, pushed through it, worked through the shit and made up with my mates afterward. My team was closer to me than most of my family, who have all moved to different parts of the country, who walk away when they don't care to hear what I have to say anymore.

Marriage isn't the issue. It's people's outlook on commitment and loyalty. We live in a fast paced world where jumping on every available opportunity is praised and creating a stable (not to be confused with stagnant) environment is secondary. You don't need marriage to commit to a person.

[Gigabitch]

That is a very, very good point, Fras. Tell me, what would you have done if one of your team members sucked? What if he thought it was gonna be easy and fun when he signed and was not really into doing hard work? What if everybody else ended up carrying his lazy ass all the time?

What would you have done?

[Glyph]

"You don't need marriage to commit to a person."

That's my point there. I have no trouble with committed relationships, there's just absolutely no reason to tie legal crap up into them. Marriage is outdated and only makes things complicated. Like with your team, you had the choice to leave, but you stuck it out because you wanted to. That's the only reason I'd want someone to stay with me, not because of a ring or legal document.

People can change, yes, but different people have different values. If all of a sudden a man's stay-at-home wife was a busy careerwoman, it depends on the man how he handles that. Is that a dealbreaker? Does it improve his view of her?

Relationships are very tenuous things and while you may have the best of intentions at heart, things can end up changing that people just can't work through. That's where marriage does its worst, because it only makes things far more complicated than they need to be.

Plus, I'd view a job or vocation as a little different from a relationship. When you don't choose who you get to work with, and this arrangement provides you money or training that you'll need to survive in life, you'll have the motivation to work through others' incompetence. When I CHOOSE to be with someone and they show their ass, it's a little different. Relationships are MUCH more emotional beasts than working environments, and emotions aren't always based upon logic and rationale (in fact, I'd say those are pretty mutually exclusive for most people). Plus, I hold the person I romantically choose to be with to a higher standard than someone I'm compelled to work alongside. Just because I know and have an emotional bond with someone doesn't let them off the hook as far as how they treat me; it actually, in fact, raises the bar. If you claim to know and love me and care about me, then I expect you to treat me better than some person with whom I have little else than a professional obligation to coexist.

[Junket]

That is a very, very good point, Fras. Tell me, what would you have done if one of your team members sucked? What if he thought it was gonna be easy and fun when he signed and was not really into doing hard work? What if everybody else ended up carrying his lazy ass all the time?

What would you have done?

There were 6 girls and 3 guys (myself included).

And we in fact did have to deal with such a character.

Ari is his name. Fresh out of highschool, he wanted to experience a bit of life and get some money towards school. Despite probably being the second strongest guy on the team he was pretty damn lazy. But we worked with him. We encouraged him, and even came down on him from time to time. He thought about quitting during winter break. But he came back.

There were extreme differences amongst the team. Everybody had to sacrifice, nobody was in their "element". And yet, there are few people I've developed such compassion for. I know I couldn't have survived New Orleans like I did were it not for them. I can't even really explain to you. Sounds wonderful right? But that's because we all worked for it. We stayed for eachother, even when we argued, cursed, ignored each other.

I know of teams, individuals that simply didn't function, didn't care to function. Maybe it was luck that they put our names together on a list. But I know it was somethin' else by the end. Luck didn't keep us together.

In the end Ari became one of the hardest most dedicated workers on the team, when everybody else was gettin' "senior-itis" and slackin' off our last few weeks. I think everybody changed, hard not to when you live 24 hours a day 7 days a week for 10 months in the same room, same van, same bars.

Understanding, communication, sacrifice, compassion, dedication, love.

Maybe because me and my girlfriend had already experience these things on the AmeriCorps level, made it easier for us to transition to a romantic relationship.

For many of you, this example is poor as few people can truly empathize what it's like to experience something like the National Civilian Community Corps. It's not just "work", it's something entirely different. Something too few experience in their life times.

[Miss hotty]

WHAT THE ****!

I thought English is the primary language in UK?

You know what i give bloody up with you

[clynn]

Maybe because me and my girlfriend had already experience these things on the AmeriCorps level, made it easier for us to transition to a romantic relationship.

For many of you, this example is poor as few people can truly empathize what it's like to experience something like the National Civilian Community Corps. It's not just "work", it's something entirely different. Something too few experience in their life times.

Sounds like the Army!

Is it similar to Katimavik (which is a Canadian programme)......????

[Only-virgins]

You know what i give bloody up with you

Sure, whatever you say.

[Miss hotty]

Sure, whatever you say.

lol ok whatever

[Junket]

Sounds like the Army!

Is it similar to Katimavik (which is a Canadian programme)......????

Yeah I just did some research on it they are pretty similar (at least in their objectives), but in operation I can tell you right now they're very different.

Katimavik is Canada’s leading national youth volunteer-service program.
For nine months, young people ages 17 to 21 live in groups of 11, in three different communities throughout the country. They work 35 hours a week on volunteer community projects in addition to participating in structured learning activities. Katimavik fosters participants’ personal development through community involvement, training and group life.

AmeriCorps*NCCC is a 10-month, full-time residential program for men and women between the ages of 18 and 24. AmeriCorps*NCCC combines the best practices of civilian service with the best aspects of military service, including leadership and team-building. Priority is given to projects in disaster relief, public safety, and public health.

All corps members and team leaders will live and work on one of three regional campuses—in Perry Point, Maryland; Denver, Colorado; and Sacramento, California—for the duration of their training at the beginning of each Corps year, as well as for transition weeks between project rounds.

One of the biggest differences I see between these are that there really isn't a limit to the amount of hours served. While there were projects we might've served a 40 hour week, it wasn't uncommon for my team to work 80+ hours a week. That averages about 12 hours each day for 7 days a week. We capped 2 weeks straight of this before we had a day off.

We were ****in' hardcore.

[clynn]

Yah, American military style!

[Junket]

Yah, American military style!

Pfft, nah, it's really different from the military, I wouldn't even compare them.

Some people referred to it as the "hippie army".

I ****in' hate hippies...