what do you talk about when introducing yourself to a girl?

[CircleC]

Tone, how long does it take till your "ripped pecs" get tired of beating a dead horse. I'm beat, man.

[Tone]

I dunno, I always bite the bait too after saying I'm not gonna.

Maybe someone should beat me. off. :D

[shh!]

I would like to volunteer for that position!

[CircleC]

If a new person sees this thread, they would think there are 5 pages of suggestions on "what to talk about when introducing yourself to a girl". How appetizing would that be for a guy struggling to find the words? Ahhhh, disappointment is a wonderful thing.

The title should be, "What do you do when you are obsessed with a girl you have never spoken too?"

[Tone]

HA! Gotcha! You can clearly see I didn't edit my post this time... but shh! go back and HIGHLIGHT my text... muahahhaha - I am SO NAUGHTY!!!!!

Now now, Tony, that's not very gentlemen-like now is it? No, no it's not.

[Rosebud]

LOL Tone!!!

[bball_1523]

ok you can stop bashing me now because I finally talked to her today.

I luckily got out of class early so I was wandering around waiting for her to appear, and finally got my chance. I saw her sitting alone so I went up to her and introduced myself. Of course I felt the nervousness at first, but after talking with her for a couple minutes, my nervousness eased away, and I felt comfortable talking with her, except for my silent moments.

BUT, I seriously had the best time talking to a girl I like, out of all the girls I've ever liked and tried to talk to. I was laughing at things, and talked out some stupid/funny things, and tried to relate to her as a friend. Almost every question I asked her, her answers were as if they were the perfect answers I was looking for. As I was giggling, I could hear giggling along with me. I felt like she was beginning to become the girl that I have always wanted. I love music, and she has an interest in music, as her whole family is into it, playing instruments and such. It was amazing hearing her say all these things. I felt like the pieces to a puzzle were finally fitting together. She said she was from an area in california (I probably shouldn't mention it), and I told her how I might go to school there. I felt this surge of excitement as she mentioned how she doesn't like partying and doesn't really drink, and I told her enthusiastically how I do not do either of those things. It was almost a dream come true.

It was almost a dream come true until she mentioned how she does some recreational drugs. That's when my heart sank to the floor and was shattered to pieces because I am not into drugs at all. And the final curtain fell as she told me she has boyfriend. My heart disintegrated into the floor, confused and lost for the time being. I felt like I was lost from that moment on, I couldn't think clearly. I still went along and talked to her for a bit after, saying how she should join her bf's school because he's over there. I just wanted to be respectful and show her that I'm not just gonna throw her off. So after she went to class, I sat there for a moment to try to gather myself, and headed off to my car to listen to music and let myself come back to reality.

So yeah, today has been depressing for me. I know it's just one girl, and there are many women out there, like everyone else tells me. I have been feeling like this most of the day. But I have had surges of excitement for some odd reason. There were times today where I thought about the conversation and felt happy because I felt like I was relating to her. Even though I felt destroyed, I still tried to joke around at work, and laughed at the usual stupid things that I always laugh at. I even saw her at work, and it just felt good to see her for some reason. I said hey and smiled at her, and she smiled back, and it just felt good.

I know I can't have her and I respect everything about her. I will not cross any lines, but I really want to keep as a friend at least. Like I said, I have never felt this good talking to a girl that I had liked. This is the first time, I had a girl giggle with me and smile at me while talking. I wish it would've been different, but there's not much I can do. You guys are probably cracking up at how much detail and effort I put into this one introductory situation, but this is how I always feel about every women I like, and I've never felt this good about it. It might've been an obsession at first, but it was almost a dream come true. Maybe I'm inching closer to finding my first love? I certainly hope so. Well there are two girls that I feel might like me because I've seen them look at me and smile at me, so I am thinking about heading in that direction.

I still have a hard time believing what happened today. I'm still trying to recover, and hope I can find some motivation and relief to get back to my regular self and move on. So yeah, I still want to talk to her and be her friend, and I will respect her having a bf, and won't cross any lines.

[CircleC]

I felt like she was beginning to become the girl that I have always wanted.
I felt like the pieces to a puzzle were finally fitting together
It was almost a dream come true.
That's when my heart sank to the floor and was shattered
I felt like I was lost from that moment on

You should try speed dating, seriously.

[bball_1523]

You should try speed dating, seriously.

no thanks, lol, I'll stick to whatever works for me.

[Tone]

I know I'm certainly not laughing, I'm proud of you bball!

NOW YOU KNOW! You no longer have to sit there and wonder "what if what if" - YOU DID IT! You found confidence/courage inside of yourself to go and make a friend. You know she's into drugs and has a boyfriend, so you can now start lookin around for other girls to talk to. And now that you know you're not going to die if you walk up to a girl and talk to her, you can have confidence to go do it again!

A small piece of you might want to stick with this girl... but don't listen to it - that's just human mentality of wanting what you can't have.

Seriously though, good job, this should open a lot of doors for you now that you know if you want something, all you have to do is go for it.

[bball_1523]

I know I'm certainly not laughing, I'm proud of you bball!

NOW YOU KNOW! You no longer have to sit there and wonder "what if what if" - YOU DID IT! You found confidence/courage inside of yourself to go and make a friend. You know she's into drugs and has a boyfriend, so you can now start lookin around for other girls to talk to. And now that you know you're not going to die if you walk up to a girl and talk to her, you can have confidence to go do it again!

A small piece of you might want to stick with this girl... but don't listen to it - that's just human mentality of wanting what you can't have.

Seriously though, good job, this should open a lot of doors for you now that you know if you want something, all you have to do is go for it.

yeah, I really do feel like putting myself out there, talking to other women.

I do feel a small part of me wants to stick with her. I've done this before with other girls too, this past 2 years, and soon after I left my feelings alone. But the weird thing about this girl is, I've never felt so connected to a girl like her before. I'm being serious, all the girls I've talked to that I've liked in the past, that I never got a chance with, I never felt so connected to them. I always felt there was no feeling of excitement with them after introducing myself because of the way they acted around me. But this girl, I felt so great talking to her. I even saw her after a couple hours and I felt so happy to see her for some reason, even though I knew I couldn't have her. The majority of the time we were giggling and stuff, and I felt like I could finally be myself with a girl, something I've never been able to do with other girls.

I know I can't have her, but I have the hardest time completely letting go. I just want to go outside and meet some women, seriously! I tried to get myself away from this yesterday, such as playing a video game and playing guitar, but I just couldn't feel it inside me. I want to go out today and just talk to people.

[Tone]

Could it be you were more excited about yourself actually talking to a girl more than you were actually into her? You say how you're not into drugs (and good for you, me either!) and it's something that's a part of her life, so wouldn't that be a huge turnoff for you? Plus she has a boyfriend and whatnot.

I mean don't get me wrong, it's all good to have a new friend, and who knows what might happen - I just don't want to see you get too involved with her.. like don't pass up other opportunities with other girls cause you're "waiting" for her.

And if you wanna go out and talk to people - do it! Life is too short to not put yourself out there and take chances!

[bball_1523]

Could it be you were more excited about yourself actually talking to a girl more than you were actually into her? You say how you're not into drugs (and good for you, me either!) and it's something that's a part of her life, so wouldn't that be a huge turnoff for you? Plus she has a boyfriend and whatnot.

I mean don't get me wrong, it's all good to have a new friend, and who knows what might happen - I just don't want to see you get too involved with her.. like don't pass up other opportunities with other girls cause you're "waiting" for her.

And if you wanna go out and talk to people - do it! Life is too short to not put yourself out there and take chances!

I was both excited and admittingly felt some of my expectations (that I probably shouldn't have had) came true.

the thing about the drugs is, I have a hard time believing her actually doing them. I just can't see it in her, she's beautiful and it's hard to imagine a gorgeous girl like that into that. The weird thing is, she doesn't really party or drink, it's so odd. When she said that I was extremely excited, but then when she said she did drugs, I was lost! lol

I don't want to pass up girls because of waiting for her. What I feel like doing is to definitely focus on other girls, but always be around to talk to this girl whenever the opportunity arises, and if things ever change of her, then as for now up until who knows when, I'm available. I've done this before with other girls and even though nothing had happened, I still managed to focus on other girls.

you know I'm still curious as to why this one conversation felt so great? I am wondering why I felt like she was interested in me by the way I saw her looking at me a few times before I ever made a move. You think it'd be ok if I ever asked her these things without having the intention of hitting on her? I've talked a girl like this before. There was this girl that I observed at school and went up and talked to her (almost similar to this current girl). As I was trying to talk to her over a month, she wasn't so interactive, and it was hard to talk to her. So I went up to her once and just asked her why she wasn't being receptive and she told me she had no interest, and honestly I felt good knowing that because it took away any perceptions of her I had that I thought of her liking me, and it helped me move on.

what do you think?

[Tone]

I wouldn't advise it... I wouldn't advise trying to take anything further than just friends while she has a boyfriend. Even if she didn't have a man I still wouldn't cause it might take away some of that interest. As in, she might think "Oh... he was only interested in me cause he thought I was interested in him..."

It's just one of those confidence things I guess... she feels pretty and attractive knowin she reeled you in with her natural charm. Whereas she might see it as a "Oh he only likes me cause I liked him" and might make you.. her.. even both seem, well.. a little desperate maybe?

Just play the friend card, keep gettin to know her.

[bball_1523]

I wouldn't advise it... I wouldn't advise trying to take anything further than just friends while she has a boyfriend. Even if she didn't have a man I still wouldn't cause it might take away some of that interest. As in, she might think "Oh... he was only interested in me cause he thought I was interested in him..."

It's just one of those confidence things I guess... she feels pretty and attractive knowin she reeled you in with her natural charm. Whereas she might see it as a "Oh he only likes me cause I liked him" and might make you.. her.. even both seem, well.. a little desperate maybe?

Just play the friend card, keep gettin to know her.

it just confuses me though, because I'm just wondering why she was staring at me once. I definitely don't want to cross any boundaries because she has a b/f.

I'm confused on how you said I'd be interested only because I thought she was interested part. I mean that is part of the reason why I ever made a move. If I hadn't seen her much around school and had never really seen her looking at me, I'd have never made a move. There's this other girl I see at the gym that I think looks cute, but she never looks at me like this current girl did. I just don't feel it in her like I did with this current girl.

But yeah, it's just something I am extremely curious about, and I just desperately want to know, lol.