Why are girls so confusing???

[Junsui]

Girls are confusing to guys, just like how guys can be confusing to girls. The two sexes communicate differently which makes it difficult for us to fully understand the other. Sometimes it's even difficult to understand your own gender.

[Fajemeister]

Girls are confusing to guys, just like how guys can be confusing to girls. The two sexes communicate differently which makes it difficult for us to fully understand the other. Sometimes it's even difficult to understand your own gender.

Well thats exactly whats happened to us. We both told eachother were confused. She keeps instant messaging me and texting my phone telling me she wants to talk. Last night she was upset that I didn't want to talk to help sort everything out, I really wasn't in the mood to talk, I had a long ass day, all I wanted to know what my bed.

[misombra]

Actually, the one says "gray matter related to intellectual skill" whereas the other says simply "gray matter," suggesting each is referring to two different classes of gray matter. Upon reading your excerpts, though, despite my discomfort over the frequency of her male-bashing comments, I have to agree with Shh!. They don't matter.

oh puleeeez hayward, they're the same thing.

anyway, i don't really care if i have more or less "gray matter," whatever it's related to. i'm just trying to stir the pot a little.

[Fajemeister]

She left me a message this morning telling me she wishes we coulda talked last night and she wants to be close with me still and that she feels like I despise her and to call her later. I don't think I could ever hate this girl, no matter what.

What should I do???

[shh!]

oh puleeeez hayward, they're the same thing.

anyway, i don't really care if i have more or less "gray matter," whatever it's related to. i'm just trying to stir the pot a little.

...but just for the record, its MORE...

[Junsui]

lol shh!

[Junsui]

If you want more gray matter, try [URL=http://msnbc.msn.com/id/10031664/]meditating![/URL]

[Bluevetteracer]

She left me a message this morning telling me she wishes we coulda talked last night and she wants to be close with me still and that she feels like I despise her and to call her later. I don't think I could ever hate this girl, no matter what.

What should I do???

Let a few days pass, then phone her!

Don't sign up for a "friendship" after the romance with her, if she is back with the ex. It is bad form. Just end it, and find a better girl.

[Tone]

I agree with Bluevette, but first you need to make up YOUR DAMN MIND. I keep seeing you go back and forth - first it was "I want to date this girl" then it's "I don't think I want a relationship" then it was back to wanting to be with her then it's "I don't want to ruin our friendship".

You need to decide what you want first. Then you need to make that known to her. I think you should go for it with her. In 10 years from now are you going to remember all your work friends from a job you had in college? Or will you remember the couple months/years spent with a beautiful girl, and all the memories you two had together and all the things you learned from it? No one is saying you have to get married, by saying you are dating doesn't mean you're going to get married, so stop thinkin like that. I would much rather deal with a couple weeks/months of ackwardness at work (if it doesn't work out) than a lifetime of regret for never trying.

Also, if you do decide you wanna go for (which I hope you do) you need to find out where she stands with her ex.

[Fajemeister]

Let a few days pass, then phone her!

Don't sign up for a "friendship" after the romance with her, if she is back with the ex. It is bad form. Just end it, and find a better girl.

We didn't really have a romance. We both told eachother we weren't doing anything serious and it was nothing major. Plus she said she wants to stay close with me, I don't know if she means continue what were doing or just be close friends. We both just need some time, and I think even if we take a step back right now, theres a chance we'll move forward again. But I did speak with her, I didn't want her to think I hated her. She told me she's not confused anymore, which is really messed up cause yesterday she was telling me how I was confusing her and last night she wanted to talk about it. Now today she's fine. I don't get it. Well I'll end up seeing her at work on friday and she's probably going to give me a ride home at night. What should I talk about? Should I kiss her if she wants to kiss?

[Fajemeister]

I agree with Bluevette, but first you need to make up YOUR DAMN MIND. I keep seeing you go back and forth - first it was "I want to date this girl" then it's "I don't think I want a relationship" then it was back to wanting to be with her then it's "I don't want to ruin our friendship".

You need to decide what you want first. Then you need to make that known to her. I think you should go for it with her. In 10 years from now are you going to remember all your work friends from a job you had in college? Or will you remember the couple months/years spent with a beautiful girl, and all the memories you two had together and all the things you learned from it? No one is saying you have to get married, by saying you are dating doesn't mean you're going to get married, so stop thinkin like that. I would much rather deal with a couple weeks/months of ackwardness at work (if it doesn't work out) than a lifetime of regret for never trying.

Also, if you do decide you wanna go for (which I hope you do) you need to find out where she stands with her ex.

Yea I agree. But she said she doesn't want me to like her in that serious way. So I don't think she wants to have a serious relationship. Right now it's on the friendly side. If this is as far is it's going to go then thats it. Mabey I'll be able to get some info out of her on friday after work.

[Tone]

Well damn, if she said that to me I'd stop - I'd go completely the friend route. Don't give her anything more. See about findin another way home besides her, don't go onto Instant Message for her to bother you, basically make it seem as if you're not interested in her either anymore. Trust me this works the best for you, cause #1 - this re-ignites her interest in you (challenge, hard to get~) and bam - you get the girl or #2 - she also agrees and you guys go in the friend zone - now you're not left alone in this and you're ready to move on.

"She doesn't want me to like her in that serious way." Who the hell is she to be sayin that... that's basically "I don't like you in a serious way" but bein nice about it. Her behavior is just as erratic as yours in this situation. MY TAKE: The ex is obviously creating some confusion in her mind. She probably is tellin you this kinda stuff to keep you in her back pocket, so she can see what happens with her ex. If it doesn't work out, you can be sure she'll be back to comin on strong to you. My theory anyway.

[Fajemeister]

"She doesn't want me to like her in that serious way." Who the hell is she to be sayin that... that's basically "I don't like you in a serious way" but bein nice about it. Her behavior is just as erratic as yours in this situation. MY TAKE: The ex is obviously creating some confusion in her mind. She probably is tellin you this kinda stuff to keep you in her back pocket, so she can see what happens with her ex. If it doesn't work out, you can be sure she'll be back to comin on strong to you. My theory anyway.

Thats what I was thinkin. My friends agree with it too. We all think the ex is the thing screwing it up. But she also got shaken up the other day when I told her I cared for her. Thats what turned her off. Everything would be the same right now if I didn't say that on sunday. I feel like I'm trying to drag this whole thing out. I'd really want to just go back where we were on saturday.

Well anyways, what if she wants to just pick up where we left off? Basically being on that border of a relationship but never really committing to one.

I just looked back at some of the convos we had online. This whole thing is really stupid. I mean there was a point where she said Im trying to open her up and she's not ready. So she was getting turned off. But I don't know why she is telling me she doesn't want me to like her in "that way". I think she's really just scared of ruining our friendship and work relationship. Thats why she is kinda trying to put a stopper on this thing before we both get wrapped up in our true feelings. She just doesn't want to get hurt.

[Junsui]

So, back off and stop trying to start up a relationship with her.

[Asip4u]

What's so confusing about this girl anyways? She's being straight up and honest. "I don't want you to like me that way"...I agree that she's keeping you around as a backup in case things don't go well with someone else. There's a billion girls out there. MOVE ON!!!