I really need to know what to do.

[carl1222]

I followed all the advice on here. We decided not to date. Now I'm miserable. I love him too much to be without him. I know it's probablly not the best idea to date him, but how do I keep myself from being in love with him? How do I restrain myself from kissing him or asking him to be my boyfriend?

Yeah, car chick ... that's the situation he put you in ... not maliciously, because his feelings were there before he knew who you really were, and they clouded his judgment when he found out.

I'm sure lots of us would pay dearly for a "fall out of love drug" but there isn't one. All you can really do is something every cell in your body (literally ... i can bore you with the hormonal chemistry but I won't) tells you you don't want to do.

You have to put him in your past, and he has to do the same with you. This is the price of your deception, and you have to own up to it because it was your fault.

This means not just deciding not to date, or kissing or not being his girlfriend ... it's much worse ... it means taking him completely out of your life now and forever! No calls, no emails, no IMs, nothing!

I'm sorry I can't give you more cheerful advice, car chick ... but it's your only hope for being with someone age-appropriate that you can fall in love with. Before you object ... remember, he needs a realistic life too so do it for him, he deserves no less in HIS romantic life with girls who are right for him ... you aren't!

Carl.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh give me a break. She's 19 now. That's old enough to be thinking for herself. Ppl have actually been *abused* by old coots like this when she wasn't. And THEY figured it out. Probably b/c they had brains, and not fluff, in between their ears.

Eventually you do 'figure it out' but that's normally in the mid to late twenties... not in the teen years... Been to the groups, met others and have personal experience on this...

Ah, okay. Well, seems like she's finally done the right thing, regardless. So, obviously, it IS possible for a 19 year old to sort herself out. I think she'll be a lot wiser for the experience if she pulls all the way through.

How do I restrain myself from kissing him or asking him to be my boyfriend?

In addition to Carl's advice, you need distraction. You'll just make yourself miserable if you put on a stiff upper lip and nothing else.

Do you have girlfriends? I'd say you should go out and flirt with some guys *your age*. Have fun, flirt, feel beautiful. It need not be serious.

And, if it helps you, pray to your God for strength. One day at a time and all that.