Would you date a slightly overweight girl?

[WonderMan]

Why not? If I love her of course I would.

[doppelgaenger]

Why not? If I love her of course I would.

High five!

[Gribble]

I cook almost everything I eat. I can assure you that if cost is a problem I can eat better, healthier and much larger portions of food when I prepare it myself. If people don't have the time, if they can't be bothered to drink water instead of XL cokes, if they can't choose a salad over a greasy hamburger, frankly they deserve their heart disease. I don't care if they're poor or not. I believe they should have to pay extra for health insurance, too. And if they're too poor, well, I guess they'll be waiting in line at the clinic with a stopped heart. Not my problem.

Take care of yourself or die and make room for those who can.

[Rollerderby]

Brigitte, is all the guys in your posts, the same guy you work with?

[brigitte]

Just for the record I'm not seriously overweight maybe carrying an extra 10 pounds, which haven't worried previous guys nor really myself. I do exercise 3times a week.It's when I feel I have to compete with gym instructors that does my head in. I think if I hook up with a gym obsessed guy then I will permanently stress about the state of my body and thats not what I want.

[Sonrisa]

oh puhlease, you waste our time.

[Gribble]

If you're only a few pounds overweight in comparison to the half-starved women magazines foist on everyone you've got little to worry about. Any guy that would turn a woman down for not being a stick thin freak is a guy any intelligent woman wouldn't want in the first place.

[brigitte]

Um yes Rollerderby...there were a number of issues relating to the same guy so I thought I'd try different posts. Bottom line is I know he likes me and I'm becoming a tad obssessed with him, he texts me after work a lot but apart from 1 coffee date thats where it has stalled. The complex about my body may be my hang up and not his. Its also complicated cause him and his family own the company I work for and I don't want to screw up my job over this ( although I had planned to leave in about 6 months anyway).
If he's not interested I wish he would stop texting me, stop sneaking in to have lunch with me, stop leaving freshly brewed coffee on my desk, and other subtle ( maybe just friendly signs?) that I may be misinterpreting?

[Sonrisa]

i think you are a tad obssessed with yourself and a whore for attention.

[brigitte]

Sonrisa I am a little insecure and confused but I'm not a whore or obsessed with myself ( him maybe).
But you are definately rude!

[Aeradalia]

Sonrisa I am a little insecure and confused but I'm not a whore or obsessed with myself ( him maybe).
But you are definately rude!

Nothing wrong with figuring out your problems here rather than creating new ones in the real world if you can help it.

However, it helps if you show all the facts... especially if these insecurities are his or yours, as that may change the nature of the advice we can give you.

Sonrisa is equally rude to all here... so you tend to get used to her.

[Rollerderby]

Um yes Rollerderby...there were a number of issues relating to the same guy so I thought I'd try different posts. Bottom line is I know he likes me and I'm becoming a tad obssessed with him, he texts me after work a lot but apart from 1 coffee date thats where it has stalled. The complex about my body may be my hang up and not his. Its also complicated cause him and his family own the company I work for and I don't want to screw up my job over this ( although I had planned to leave in about 6 months anyway).
If he's not interested I wish he would stop texting me, stop sneaking in to have lunch with me, stop leaving freshly brewed coffee on my desk, and other subtle ( maybe just friendly signs?) that I may be misinterpreting?

This reminds me of a guy I was obessed over. I knew he liked me, I knew it because he wouldn't stop texting me or iming me, but whenever I suggested hanging out, he always seemed to have something better to do.

What I *finally* realized was that I really didn't want to be with someone who I found myself trying to change for. I thought if I could be this, or that, that surely he would finally stop dicking around and be with me. Problem with him, I realized is that he wasn't totally over his ex, and they still talked.

It was hard. Really ****ing hard, because the chemistry and everything was there. For me. But for whatever reason, it was not for him. That dance taught me a lot about guys, and I have never chased, nor will chase again, a guy like that or any guy.

You know, you should just start ignoring him. Really. Play it off as if you have something better to do all the time, and let him come to you. I mean, don't you want a guy who will swoon and shower you with the attention and praise you deserve?

Read my posting in the love forum, [url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/29351-attracted-rejection.html#post444083[/url] I can relate to your situation. I think you are starting to build him up as better than he actually is. Don't. He's just another guy, with a penis.

Trust me, you want someone who thinks you are just as cool as you think they are.

Buy (or rent from the lib) he's just not that into you. It's a bit harsh, but it's better to have your eyes wide open to the truth than trying to fool yourself and create a bigger misery.

[Rollerderby]

Sonrisa is equally rude to all here... so you tend to get used to her.

It's ironic because Sonrisa means smile in Spanish!

[KingZ]

If she's fat, it's a no-go.

[MilkyCereal]

Okay, first thing is to not put too much stock on what you see on the scale. That doesn't matter to us guys as much as you think. I have NEVER asked any of my GF's or my wife how much they weigh. I don't care what the number on the scale is, as long as it looks good in the mirror.

Secondly, by him saying that the contestants on The Biggest Loser make him physically ill, that doesn't make him shallow by any means, nor is it a hint that you are fat/overweight. He is simply expressing what he finds unattractive. We've been conditioned from birth not to make comments about fat people, but deep down we all know that looks DO matter. You can't be fully in love with someone unless you are 100% attracted to them in EVERY way, to include physical.

You actually proved that to be true when you said that his "brick wall" physique put you off. It works both ways. What you said is no different than calling him out for being a fat guy. It's still the same - his physical appearance put you off just like the physical appearance of the people on TBL put him off.

Sit down and have a discussion with him about it. Talk about how you are self-conscious about the way you look. To be honest, though, 154lbs is NOT fat, unless you are like 4 feet tall...

Happy dating!