He's perfect...except I wish he were richer?

[doppelgaenger]

Hey pinkchampage,

I'd suggest talking with your boyfriend specifically about the money issue. Not his job or his career or any of that, but indirectly about the money issue. A good example would be "Honey, I've been thinking a lot about the future lately, and I am worried that we might not make it financially."

Hopefully that will make him aware of your worries and you guys can talk about this. Some important points to consider: how much does he make, what exactly does he do, is he satisfied with his career, did he go to college, what do *you* make, how much do you and he as a *combined* salary make?

Don't expect him to change his career though. If you did, he would most certainly be offended an hurt. Maybe you know that already and that's why you made the post. Maybe you guys can come up with some kind of savings plan. Like open a bank account with both of your names on it. Save it up and earn interest off of it. Then when you have enough, invest a few thousand and try to make something off of it. Automobile industry would be a great idea right now.

[BoredGeorge]

Hey pinkchampage,

I'd suggest talking with your boyfriend specifically about the money issue. Not his job or his career or any of that, but indirectly about the money issue. A good example would be "Honey, I've been thinking a lot about the future lately, and I am worried that we might not make it financially."

Hopefully that will make him aware of your worries and you guys can talk about this. Some important points to consider: how much does he make, what exactly does he do, is he satisfied with his career, did he go to college, what do *you* make, how much do you and he as a *combined* salary make?

Don't expect him to change his career though. If you did, he would most certainly be offended an hurt. Maybe you know that already and that's why you made the post. Maybe you guys can come up with some kind of savings plan. Like open a bank account with both of your names on it. Save it up and earn interest off of it. Then when you have enough, invest a few thousand and try to make something off of it. Automobile industry would be a great idea right now.

See, women are evil bitches. Don't trust them.

[Yggdrasil]

See, women are evil bitches. Don't trust them.

And this is why there are people like George. And you still wonder?

[vashti]

but then again what are the extra expenses incurred..health insurance? tax? (your taxes are fckin curazy..that may be why then) rent (is it higher?...doesn't make sense) education?

just wondering do companies offer to pay for ones education over there like they do here?...all these US companies have come into Ireland and paid for peoples education (not that it was expensive to do so..but free education is now being phased out)

it just seems to me that people are getting more and more greedy. ya know what the guy doesn't have to share his wealth so why focus on such things. this thread and vashti your comment makes women look bad

Housing in California is MUCH higher than everywhere except NYC, and our sales tax is at just under 10%. Gasoline is much higher, too, due to extra taxes that promote lower smog emissions.

A lot of hospitals pay for nurses to further their education. I don't know about anyone else...

Although it may sound "greedy", I think it is absurdly stupid to not think of finances if you are planning a family. Parents owe it to their children to be able to afford things like college and a hobby here and there. Also, I believe it is important for one parent of the other to stay home with their children during the formative years. That is hard to do if your have little income.

I don't really care if you (or anyone) thinks my comment makes women look bad. I am simply being practical.

BTW george - I've been married longer than anyone else on this board other than indi.

[PinkChampage]

Thanks, Vashti, for being one of few practical and reasonable people on here!

I'm an interpreter for a company with a primarily foreign clientele. I make 43K now, and, upon the completion of my master's in the fall, will make 49-50K. He's a technician and makes 44-45K.

In a year or two, I plan to go back to school and earn a doctorate so I could teach at the university level, which would substantially increase my salary. His future is less clear. He might go back for a master's, but very few people in his field earn more than 50-55K, even with higher degrees and experience.

[PinkChampage]

I find it interesting that the men have had such incendiary reactions to my post because I'm not completely happy with a man who is otherwise perfect, but financially sub-par by my standards.

Let me ask you all this: would you be completely happy with a woman who is otherwise perfect, but physically sub-par by your standards?

Judging from your outrageous reactions, I assume, theoretically, that you would be very critical of a woman who, at first glance, was attracted to a man's financial assets, and, driven by this attraction, decided to get to know him and possibly pursue a relationship with him.

Yet how many of you have been attracted to a woman's physical assets and decided to get to know her and have a relationship with her?

I'm sure you'd all have different reactions if there were a man on here wishing that his loving girlfriend were "more physically fit."

Be honest. Aren't you being hypocrites?

[Illusional]

this is just me speaking, but if a girl is hot, i don't care if she's broke.

raverboy

[Junket]

I find it interesting that the men have had such incendiary reactions to my post because I'm not completely happy with a man who is otherwise perfect, but financially sub-par by my standards.

Let me ask you all this: would you be completely happy with a woman who is otherwise perfect, but physically sub-par by your standards?

Judging from your outrageous reactions, I assume, theoretically, that you would be very critical of a woman who, at first glance, was attracted to a man's financial assets, and, driven by this attraction, decided to get to know him and possibly pursue a relationship with him.

Yet how many of you have been attracted to a woman's physical assets and decided to get to know her and have a relationship with her?

I'm sure you'd all have different reactions if there were a man on here wishing that his loving girlfriend were "more physically fit."

Be honest. Aren't you being hypocrites?

I don't know why you're still arguing with these people.

Have you dumped him yet?

Do you have other mating prospects?

Maybe someone at work who can fill the shoes better?

[Cain]

I find it interesting that the men have had such incendiary reactions to my post because I'm not completely happy with a man who is otherwise perfect, but financially sub-par by my standards.

Let me ask you all this: would you be completely happy with a woman who is otherwise perfect, but physically sub-par by your standards?

Judging from your outrageous reactions, I assume, theoretically, that you would be very critical of a woman who, at first glance, was attracted to a man's financial assets, and, driven by this attraction, decided to get to know him and possibly pursue a relationship with him.

Yet how many of you have been attracted to a woman's physical assets and decided to get to know her and have a relationship with her?

I'm sure you'd all have different reactions if there were a man on here wishing that his loving girlfriend were "more physically fit."

Be honest. Aren't you being hypocrites?

You knew how much money he made when the both of you started dating, right? Your analogy is shit unless he was making MORE before your relationship started and then he took a job that paid him less. I don't expect anyone to change their ways when they were that way going into the relationship and neither should you. If you have a problem with his salary and want someone with more money, break up with him so he can find someone worth his time.

[IndiReloaded]

If you eventually get your doctorate, then why can't YOU be the primary breadwinner? I asked this before and you didn't respond.

You mention children, but you will find it VERY difficult (almost impossible, actually) to be a responsible parent AND a successful academic without the support of a partner. Based on your career trajectories, I would suggest he stay home and raise children, and bring in some extra income from a home-based business. Technician sounds like he's in IT and a lot of those jobs can be done by telecommute. I have a friend who does this; she is a professional who works out of the home and he stays home running his business (he's a web designer) looking after the kids during the day when she is out. Works for them.

Unless, as I said, you are looking for a reason to dump him that is not about money. In which case, you should be more honest with yourself and him.

Good luck.

[ecojeanne]

wowweee people breaking up with people coz of money..

money money money

i guess people think money is the answer to happiness? do you ever notice that when you have been most happy was when you spent time with friends and family..or maybe not..maybe it was when you had the newest toy and showed it off smugly to your 'friends'...

ah whatever to each their own. i see divorce and unhappiness ahead for you me darlin'

[Illusional]

when i rub my crystal ball, i see more liquor in my life.

raverboy

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

If you break up with him over this then you are just proving you are about the money. It's not like he is a bum just sitting at home doing nothing. Like stated before, at least he has a job as opposed to alot of people right now. It's not impossible to live a good life with your income, but it seems like you're looking for a life of luxury more than a steady life from my POV.

[Rollerderby]

this is all good and all, but honestly your children will be fine regardless if you are rich or not. one thing people might actually go against being born into a better off family is that the children usually tend to be more spoiled. everything is given to them. i will admit that i probably am a bit more spoiled than my friends, but on the good note, i have learned that i have to work hard if i really want something like respect.

I agree with this.

If you think money will buy your childrens love, then I wish you would get sterilized. Kids don't care about how many toys they have unless that is what you teach them. They care about you liking the pictures they bring home, and tossing the ball with them after school. Toys get boring (unless it's video games) and parents love is a major building block in living life happily.

Read in the off topic thread [URL="http://www.loveforum.net/off-topic-discussion/31534-good-enough-relationship.html"]http://www.loveforum.net/off-topic-discussion/31534-good-enough-relationship.html[/URL]

It might open your eyes to seeing that what you have is good. But you obviously don't love your guy enough, so maybe you should re-think it.

[Bo]

wowweee people breaking up with people coz of money..

money money money

i guess people think money is the answer to happiness? do you ever notice that when you have been most happy was when you spent time with friends and family..or maybe not..maybe it was when you had the newest toy and showed it off smugly to your 'friends'...

ah whatever to each their own. i see divorce and unhappiness ahead for you me darlin'

Exactly, and people don't just break up over money. They're unhappy and then the financial issues add to the stress and unhappiness. She wants him to make 100k and then she's got her what, 55k on top of that? That's more than necessary especially since they've got more than 18 years to build that up as someone mentioned earlier.

Seriously Pink, admit it you just can't take harsh criticism because you want to sit on your pretty little ass and have people validate your feelings.


People these days are such slaves to money it's sad.